Happy New Year!

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2011 and to welcome in 2012.

I'm feeling a bit melancholy tonight, which is no real surprise. I welcomed 2011 with my sisters at our family Christmas party and I'm finding myself missing that family connection this year. I miss my sisters, and more than that, I miss my mom and dad. Funny, I expected Christmas to be the day that bothered me most over this holiday season and instead it's today. I'm not so good with change, you see, and things are definitely changing in my family.

Ian and I are spending tonight with Gozer watching the various specials. We went for a hugely long walk with her and the neighbour's dogs earlier this evening. It's gorgeous outside: there's no precipitation and the temperature is hovering around freezing. It wasn't hard to stay out there with the dogs for a long time - what a difference from last year, when I was walking around, lost, trying to find my sister's place in the cold Edmonton temperatures! T

Ian, Gozer, and I wish that 2012 brings happiness, good health, and much love to you and your loved ones.

Yesterday's Denosumab

Yesterday was Denosumab day at the hospital. There was almost one one there because of the holidays which made for a lovely experience. I don't normally get such a great parking space or have so much room to myself. There weren't as many muffin flavours in the cafeteria as usual but I'd happily give up muffin flavours for fewer people.

The bloodwork and port access went smoothly. When I settled into the chair for the denosumab appointment, the nurse sternly asked me if I was on any calcium supplements. I tried to be strong but after a few minutes I meekly admitted that I had taken some, and then I ran out, and then I didn't buy any more... but I'd buy some today before I left the hospital. She didn't say that was ok or anything; all she said was that my calcium was low and that I'd have to see the pharmacist.

I was a bit nervous (ok, I might have been freaking out a little bit) to hear that there was something wrong. The pharmacist came with printouts that showed that my adjusted calcium (the one that includes albumin) is 2.05 and should be at least 2.1. Apparently the denosumab works so much better than the Pamidronae did that it's really important to take the extra calcium. There's no cause for alarm right now as long as I start taking calcium and vitamin D and continue to take it.

The pharmacist recommended that I start taking Ultra Tums because each tablet has 1000mg of calcium in it so I bought a bottle of that along with a bottle of vitamin D. I don't want to get into trouble or to reduce the effectiveness of my treatment. I also don't want to feel afraid that there's something wrong until there really is cause for alarm.

New word

We learned a new word while we were away. I'd bought some beef chew thingies for Gozer back before she first came home and we decided to give them to her in her Christmas stocking. I'd looked at the package and I didn't really think much about what was in it. There was some small lettering that said "beef pizzle" but I thought that this was just a special way of preparing beef or something.

It turns out that "pizzle" refers not to a way of preparing beef but a specific part of the bull (not the cow), and it isn't the testicles. The French translation - penis - should have tipped me off, but I didn't read that part. Apparently those treats are made of stretched, dried bull penis. And Gozer loved it. She gnawed on that treat for a couple of hours while all of the people were in another room. Normally she wanted to be in the same room as the majority of people but this treat trumped even that. I never thought my dog would love dried bull penis so much (if you know what I mean).

Of course once we found out that my dog was eating and loving bull penis, we couldn't leave the topic alone. There are a thousand jokes to be made here and believe me, we've been making them. How could we not? If I get too many spam comments from this post, I'll close commenting on this post. For now, feel free to be creative. After all, what's the point of learning new words and concepts if you can't use them?

My new warm coat

While we were visiting Ian's parents I took some time to do a little shopping. I don't know whether or not I've mentioned this before but I've been looking for a warm winter coat to wear while walking Gozer in the winter. I have a winter coat but it just isn't warm enough for me to be out for any length of time when it's really cold out. Add in the fact that I have temperature control issues (I get cold really easily and I start sweating when I'm cold, making me colder) and it's clear that I need a really warm coat.

Over the years I've bought a few winter coats and based on how well those coats worked for me, I developed a list of must-haves for this warm winter coat I wanted. A heavy-duty double zipper is an absolute necessity because a wimpy dress zipper can break too easily or not zip properly in the cold. It's also important to be able to unzip the coat from the bottom for walking or sitting. Storm cuffs - preferably made of ribbing or fleece so that they conform to the wrist and are warm - are also absolutely necessary because otherwise my wrists get cold or I get snow up my sleeves. I love having a hood to keep the wind off of my neck but it has to be adjustable so it doesn't fly off in the wind. For me to stay warm, the coat has to be at least knee length.

The warmest, lightest fill out there is down so I definitely wanted a down-filled coat. I did a bit of research and I found out that there are different fill combinations, with the most common being 50% down and 50% feathers. I read that the greater the proportion of down, the warmer the coat will be, so I decided that I wanted the the fill to be at least 60% down with no more than 40% feathers.

Surprisingly, out of all of those requirements, the hardest one to meet has been storm cuffs. Even the high-end coats that are super-warm with fill made of 90-100% down don't have storm cuffs. What's up with that? Clearly most super-warm coats aren't made for our Canadian winters. The lack of storm cuffs on winter coats has made this search take much longer than I thought it would.

Lucky for me, I finally found myself a coat that meets every one these requirements, including having storm cuffs! I went to Sporting Life and found myself this Canadian Spirit Rosedale coat in black, on sale for half price, making it below what I'd been prepared to pay.

Yep, I'm excited about this coat. On me, it comes down to just below mid-calf or to about the top of my boots which is perfect. There are zippers at the hem on each side to make walking easier, if I need the room.  It's also got 90% down/10% feathers fill, making it super-warm. The only thing I was worried about was that it was too shapeless on me, or that it looked too much like I was wearing a down comforter because when I put it on it felt like I was wrapping myself in a down comforter.

I called Ian and described my dilemma. He pointed out that the kind of coat I was looking for would almost certainly be a bit shapeless on me and since this one met all my other requirements, I should buy it. So I did. He was surprised when he saw it because the chevron stitching and vertical lines are flattering. It's less of a shapeless comforter than I thought it would be - and did I mention that it's super-warm?

Because I'll be wearing this coat out in the cold and possibly the dark, I need to figure out a way to add some reflective tape or something to it without compromising the integrity of the coat. That way I'll be more visible to drivers and other people. I might be able to add some around the cuffs and hood. I could also maybe make a belt or something with the reflective tape - we'll see. I have to think about it.

I'm thrilled that I found the coat. I'm even more thrilled that I was purchased it for a reasonable amount and that I didn't have to sacrifice any of my requirements for it. I wore it out today while walking Gozer because it's cold and quite windy out there and I was snuggly warm in the coat. I felt the wind as pressure but not as a cold force on me. This coat is definitely everything I wanted it to be and I'm almost looking forward to wearing it in the deep cold that will be on its way.

Belated Merry Christmas

I hope that you all had a good Christmas surrounded by the people you love while eating delicious food and giving and receiving great presents. Our Christmas was wonderful: we spent it with Ian's parents as well as Ian's brother and his wife. I always look forward to going there because I love seeing Ian's parents and I enjoy spending time with them.

I had a wonderful time visiting and hanging out with Ian's parents this past week and I'm thrilled that we were there. I do wish I got along better with my sister-in-law, though. She's got a strong personality and when I'm around her I often feel like a backwards country cousin. I also feel like we're not quite connecting on things even though we've got some similar interests; I feel kind of like she's dismissed the possibility of any kind of relationship with me, if that makes sense. At least we're civil and respectful to each other even if we aren't close friends.

It turns out that Gozer loves going to Ian's parent's house and seeing Ian's parents as much as I do! She settled in right away and acted pretty much like she owned the place and every lap in it after only a few minutes. She loved sitting on Ian's parent's laps - or their feet - for hours at a time. On those rare occasions where she wasn't sitting on a lap she was happy to sit on her cushion in the same room as them.

Ian's mom outdid herself again by cooking a delicious turkey dinner complete with a ton of vegetable options for Christmas along with muffins for breakfast and each other dinner. She also made lots of fantastic desserts and cookies. I don't know how she's able to get all that cooking and baking done but I'm selfishly happy that she does it because I really enjoy the fruits of her labour. I've eaten so much over the last few days that even though I haven't eaten much today, I still feel full. It's a happy full feeling, of course!

While I was prepared to stay there for a couple of extra days, between my denosumab early Thursday morning, Ian's plans with friends tomorrow night, and the snow we got today, it was better for us to come home today. I hope that we'll be able to go back for a visit or that they'll come here soon. In the meantime, we've got Christmas books and video games (while cuddling Gozer) to keep up occupied.

Gozer's second bath

Gozer's second bath today went much better than her first one. We bought a bathmat for the tub that gave her some traction and a shower head that had a setting for a trickle of water. We didn't have to fill the tub with water, which she liked better, and she didn't have to be doused with water, which she definitely preferred. She still didn't love the experience but it went a lot better this time.

We wanted to get Gozer nice and clean not just because we're supposed to wash her every few days but because we're getting ready to go to Mississauga for Christmas and we want her to look her best. Or as best as she can considering that she went out for a walk in the rain after her bath. Traveling with a dog is much more complicated than traveling alone: we have to wash her coats and towels and gather up her food, her crate, her toys, and I don't know what else. I thought that getting myself organized was hard!

I hope that Gozer's mostly clean, shiny cute state will be so distracting that no one minds her occasional barkiness. Her barking is adorable when she's playing with her toys but something dramatically less than adorable at night. Hopefully she'll be good while we're there.

Oncology appointment yesterday

I saw my oncologist yesterday for my regular visit. Well, it wasn't my oncologist because she was away so I saw someone who's been helping out at this cancer center. Apparently there are two oncologists at this center on maternity leave so they're a little shorthanded and this oncologist was called in from Hamilton.

I actually really liked this replacement oncologist. She and her nurse (who she'd brought from Hamilton) was very thorough in taking my history and understanding what's happened with me. She and her nurse both had an efficient yet caring manner. They dealt with me as though I will be their patient from now on, which I liked because I felt like I didn't have to worry about my care: I won't slip through the cracks the way I did when I first started going to this cancer center if my oncologist is out for a while. Of course I really want my own oncologist to come back but at least I'm getting great care when she's not there.

My CA 15-3 tumour markers were 40, up from 37 last time but still in the low zone. The oncologist ordered a mammogram for me (it was supposed to be ordered before yesterday's appointment), which is scheduled for tomorrow. She also gave me the prescription I'll need for the denosumab when I start getting it at home in February.

I'm happy I have an actual prescription for the denosumab instead of the cancer center calling it in somewhere because I have a bit more time to decide where it goes. I'm not happy with my pharmacy because when my prescriptions come in boxes one pharmacist tapes them together even though I've asked them multiple times to not do that and there's supposed to be a note on the file. There are two problems with this approach, especially with the pain medication prescription: first, I can't get the boxes open when they're taped together because of the way they open; and second, out of the four boxes I get, only two have a label on them. I'm hugely uncomfortable using pain medication boxes that don't have pharmacy labels on them.

I'm going to talk to the pharmacy (preferably the pharmacist who's doing this) one more time about this issue and if the next refill comes with the boxes taped together, I'll find myself a new pharmacy. I'll have to be sure that they can fill the denosumab, of course.

At least I'm happy with the cancer center and my tumour markers (and therefore my cancer) are still stable. Now that's some great news!

A clean Gozer

Gozer had her first bath today. I managed to get through the experience with only one set of scratches on my shoulder, although Ian's forearms are much more scratched up. It turns out that Gozer doesn't like the sound of the water going into the tub or the feeling of water being poured over her body. She'd be happy to do without the lathering bit, too, or really any part of the process.

Unfortunately for her, there are more baths in her future because the bumps on her belly are still there. Because the antibiotics helped a bit and Gozer was quite dirty, the vet thinks that the bumps might just be reactions to the dirt and possible allergens on her skin. The bumps were there when she was being fed the natural lamb meal and rice kibble we first fed her so the vet doesn't think the bumps are a food allergy.

To cleanse Gozer, the vet recommended that we give her a bath every other day for about a week using a mild oatmeal and aloe vera shampoo to soothe her skin. If after a week the bumps are better, we're to go in and get her a conditioner to use after bathing. If the bumps aren't better, then she wants us to use a medicated shampoo. Of course if Gozer gets super-itchy after being bathed and develops new bumps or sores, we'll stop using the product.

She didn't lick her belly at all afterwards so I'm beginning to think there is something in the environment causing the bumps. She looks so much better after having the bath: her white fur is whiter and it's all fluffy and pretty. I hope that she becomes more used to having a bath and begins to even enjoy the process.

Shopping for Gozer

We took Gozer shopping while the house was cleaned today. There's a Ren's Pet Depot about a 15 or 20 minute walk away so we went there. While Gozer was fairly well-behaved most of the time, Ian had to take her out of the store a few times when her barking, lunging, leaping alter-ego showed up. One of these days we'd love it if she didn't bark at other dogs.

We ended up buying her two new coats. One is similar to the one she got when she left the Humane Society and the other is a fancy waterproof outer shell with a double-layered fleece detachable liner. The shell and liner can be worn together or separately so it's basically a 3-in-1 coat. It cost more than some coats we've bought for ourselves!

We also bought her some new toys: a Nylabone bone, a Nylabone ring, and a stuffed hippo. She hasn't shown any interest in the Nylabone products but that might be because she's so much more interested in the hippo. She took it right away and likes playing with it to make it squeak. She's also spent most of the evening asleep between my legs on the chair with the hippo in her mouth. You'd think her jaw would get sore but she seems quite content.

We also bought her some hypoallergenic shampoo. The red bumps on her belly are still there even though the antibiotics end tomorrow. She also scratches at her belly a lot and worries at her paws with her teeth so we think she might have sensitive skin. Of course we haven't given her a bath yet so her fur is a little dirty, which could be contributing to her itchiness.

We spent about an hour at the store and we have very few things to show for it. Making decisions is hard! Will she want this toy, or that one? This bone, or that one? This brand, or the other one? At the same time, it was kind of fun because we got to see her reaction to the toys and squeaks and we could try on the different coats. She wears different sizes depending on the brand so trying things on is important. I love that I can take her into the store with us (even if she does bark).

Shopping for Gozer is nearly as much fun as shopping for myself... and only slightly less expensive. Watching her carry around the stuffed hippo makes the adventure well worth the adventure.

Gozer progress report

Gozer and I are doing very well in our behaviour modification training. I'm thrilled with the progress we've made!

Ian crates her when he leaves for work and before I look at her, talk to her, or let her out of her crate, I've started ignoring her completely for at least 20 or 30 minutes. She has to be completely calm and relaxed before I let her out and I have to wait so she doesn't associate me getting up with her getting out.  I've also stopped giving her looks, hugs, and pets in the half-hour before bedtime so that I'm not withdrawing my affections at the same time as she goes in the crate and she doesn't associate the two things. She still sleeps on the chair with me before bed so she's in physical contact with me but there's no targeted affection.

Another thing we're trying to promote is a feeling of independence in her. Ian had wanted me to crate her when I had my bath but I've been using that time for her to be on her own outside of the crate. At first I was letting her into the master bedroom while I had my afternoon bath in the master ensuite but she ends up sleeping on the bed, which is something we don't want her to do just now (or maybe ever). Because I'm trying to ignore bad behaviours, I'd just grab her collar without touching her fur and, without saying anything, lead her down off the bed. 

The person we saw last Monday said that it is more important to develop her feeling of independence than it is to keep her off of the furniture. However, I don't want her to get used to sleeping on our bed when she has a perfectly good ottoman to sleep on in the living room. Today, after she realized I was running water for my bath, she went and slept on her ottoman all by herself. I closed the door anyway, of course.

Gozer is also behaving a lot better on our walks although when she does behave badly, she turns into a wriggling, leaping, barking, demonspawn of a dog. At least she's good about walking beside me instead of in front of me and she's very good about waiting to cross streets or giving up on yummy-to-her smells.

She's also learning that we control the food and the exit doors in the house and will wait for permission before eating or going through a door. She still has a lot to learn, as do I, but we're definitely making good progress.

Old tv series

Occasionally I get tired of watching regular television. As much as I like watching such compelling shows as Judge Judy or People's Court, the people and the cases featured can be rather tedious. I also think of my mom when I watch these shows because she used to watch them, too, and sometimes those memories are more than I can handle.

On days like today, where I'm feeling a bit sad and upset, I also have no patience for movies. I was thrilled to find the perfect solution on Netflix: the original Alfred Hitchcock Presents series! I remember watching the "new and improved" version when I was growing up. I also have hazy memories of watching the re-runs of the original episodes but I could be mixing up the show with something else. The original version is so much better than the 80s remake and it's a pleasure to watch each episode.

I've been immersed in the series for most of the day and I feel like I'm discovering an old friend in each episode. I love the stories, the acting, Hitchcock's statements, the set design, and the costumes. I'm watching episodes shot in 1955 and everyone is wearing clothes from that era and are surrounded by items from that era. It's like taking a peek into the past, being able to see how people lived back them. Well, how they lived according to television, anyways.

Right now Netflix has only the first 61 episodes (the first three seasons) available. I hope that they add the remaining four seasons before I'm finished watching these first three. This might not be the best use of my time but I'm enjoying it so it can't be the worst thing for me to do.

Things are looking up

Things are getting better. I heard back from the dog training facility and there's room for Gozer starting on January 8 and going for seven weeks. Hopefully by the end of it I'll be able to handle Gozer easily.

We had quite the walk today. We met a few dogs on our path and one of them seemed really interested in Gozer. I asked the owner if it was ok for her to approach and he said that his dog wasn't that good on the leash. It turns out that "not that good on the leash" means "will bite my dog". They were sniffing snouts when the owner tried to pull his dog away and the dog bit her on the face. Gozer wasn't hurt and no skin was broken (thank goodness!) so Ian thinks it was a dominance thing and not an attack. Gozer reacted by barking like crazy while I pulled her away. That owner could use some obedience training with his dog.

Last night was a bit tough for Gozer because her crate was in the living room instead of the bedroom. She barked a few times before I went to sleep and at least once after I was in bed. If she barked after that, I didn't hear it. In the morning Gozer didn't pee as much as she normally does so Ian was worried that she'd soiled her bed (another sign of separation anxiety). Fortunately, her bed was try and didn't smell so she was probably just a bit dehydrated. I know that the pee habits of our dog might be a little TMI but this is an important subject to us.

Gozer spent quite even more time in her crate today because I had an appointment with my psychologist. My next appointment will be in January (although I could see her next week if necessary) and she wanted to be sure that I have my coping skills and techniques in place for the holidays. I think I'm in good enough shape to handle things - not that I expect much to come up. The point is that I have the tools I need and the more I use them, the better able I'll be to handle things as they come up. This is definitely good news.

More about dog training

I'm feeling a bit better today although I still had moments where I felt inadequate and that I couldn't train Gozer right.

Fortunately, we started the behavioural modification program at the vet's today. We were given a number of good tips that will hopefully help us deal with Gozer. For example, because she fixates on me so much, I have to give my bedtime goodnights a half hour before bedtime and then completely ignore her while Ian puts her to bed.

The person also suggested that we take Gozer's crate out of the bedroom so that she can develop some independence from us. Well, from me, anyways. She'd prefer to follow me everywhere, if she could, and to always be at my side, which is where her separation anxiety comes from. At least we caught it early.

I've also sent in a request to join a dog training course that starts in early January. I felt that the only way I could get over my feelings of inadequacy was to take steps to gain more knowledge. Sometimes a whiny pity party is what I need but it's not a long-term solution. I'm learning that it's better to face whatever's bothering me instead of avoiding it; in this case, facing my feelings of inadequacy about training Gozer means to learn how to train her.

You know, I knew that owning dogs and cats were really different and that there were dog people and cat people but I never really understood the differences. Well, now I know. When you own a cat, you basically just accept the cat for what it is and allow it to be itself while you be yourself. You can train it to do things if you want to but training isn't required. Owning a dog means calmly training it and being its pack leader. In fact, you bond while training the dog whereas you bond with the cat when it cuddles.

Owning a dog is rewarding but it's more work than owning a cat would be. I think it's safe to say that I am and always will be a cat person. At the same time, I'm learning to be a dog person, although it will take some time before I'm comfortable in my new role.

A sad start to the day

I've been quite busy over the last few days and so I haven't been sleeping well, leaving me feeling extremely tired. I've also been feeling a bit inadequate because Gozer isn't behaving well and I have no idea what I'm doing with her and I wasn't happy with the things I made in my metalsmithing class. And of course I'm still feeling sad about my mom. It was cold yesterday and I was flooded with memories of being in Edmonton after my mom died.

With all that going on it wasn't really a surprise that I had a huge meltdown last night. I started quietly crying in my bath and when I went to the other bedroom I started sobbing. I also started feeling like I was useless and that I couldn't do anything right. I knew that this was (and still is) a complete exaggeration but that didn't seem to matter at the time.

When I woke up I was still feeling very sad and still crying and I took half an ativan. I"m finally feeling better now. We spent some time this afternoon taking Gozer for a walk and then making some seasonal displays with branches and stuff Ian's mom gave me. Doing something creative helped me take my mind off of my perceived inadequacies, which made a huge improvement in my mood. Having a nap afterwards has also made a huge difference in how I'm feeling.

This evening Gozer seemed to want to play but didn't want to chase any of her usual toys. Ian brought out a small, quietly squeaky cow and she loves it. We've never seen her so attached to anything before! She made it squeak a little bit and then just carried it around with her. She even took it with her onto her ottoman and slept with it in her mouth - which was adorably cute, by the way. When we went downstairs she carried her cow with her and is sleeping contentedly on her cow (when it's not in her mouth, that is). Maybe she'll be calmer when we leave if she gets to sleep with the cow? I hope so.

Watching Gozer happily walk around with this little stuffed cow - with a cow foot on each side of her mouth - had me collapsing in giggles at just how cute she is. I may not know what I'm doing in raising a dog but I know how to love her and I want to make her happy. Watching her carry around the cow showed me that she's going to be all right, even if it takes a while for me to figure out how to train her. I'm not inadequate; I'm just learning. And it's ok to be sad when I remember last year.

Walking the dogs

I think I mentioned before that we're looking after the neighbour's two shih-tzu dogs at the end of December. In order to be prepared to do this, we've been trying to take the two dogs out walking with Gozer. Tonight was out second full attempt and it went quite well.

One of the dogs didn't want to be out and kept dragging behind and turning around to go home until we reached a point where it was clear that we were heading home. After that, the three little doggies walked almost side-by-side ahead of us so we were treated to a view of two pom-pom tail bums and one snake-tail bum. The two neighbour dogs haven't yet learned the trick of getting the leash out from under them, which means that they can end up hamstringing themselves if we're not careful.

After the walk was over we brought the other dogs home and our neighbours invited us in for a bit. Those two dogs are spoiled! They have a huge toybox and a ton of pig ears and feet and other bones for their dogs to gnaw at. It turns out that Gozer also likes pig ears and bones. In fact, she got herself a bone and carried it around when she wasn't gnawing at it. That bone came home with us - she was awfully cute carrying it! Of course we won't let her have the bone when we're not able to supervise her in case there are spurs or anything.

The neighbours also have a ton of treats for their dogs and we ended up bringing some home after giving Gozer small pieces of each one. I tell you, if she goes over there to visit, she's going to get spoiled with food and bones and toys. She didn't do much playing with the other dogs but all three were quite content to hang out in the same room together.

As we walk the three of them more frequently, they'll get used to the way we walk which will hopefully make looking after them relatively easy.

Party and Gozer

Last night's party was fun. They had some actors through dinner doing a murder mystery version of the Scrooge tale and a hypnotist after dessert. The hypnotist stuff was funny at the start while the people were doing some "whitewater rafting". It became much less funny when the hypnotist gave one guy the suggestion that he couldn't say the number six and then put the guy in several situations where he needed to say the number six. The guy is a smart fellow so used all sorts of tricks to define the number six without being able to say it. It's funny if you think that people who stutter or stammer are funny... which I don't. At least now I can say that I've seen a hypnotist in action.

Poor Gozer had a tough time while we were gone. she was frantically panting when we got home and had clearly been trying to escape the crate; her bed was turned around and the blankets were pulled into the crate. We took her outside right afterwards and she had a very big poo, followed by two more poos on the walk we took afterward.

When I left for my metalsmithing class tonight she was howling :( It was so hard to hear her howling and barking and to have to leave her but I did. When Ian got home she was in a panicky state again.

I took Gozer in to the vet this morning for another booster shot and we talked about her behaviour last night. The vet and I agreed that she's showing early signs of separation anxiety. She's got a program they're starting there to heal deal with separation anxiety that involves the mild anti-anxiety drug Reconcile (fluoxetine, or Prozac for dogs) and behaviour modification training. I've signed us up for it and she started taking the pills today. We'll go in to start the rest of the process on Monday.

Gozer also has some bumps on her tummy and the vet gave me some antibiotics for that. It turns out that Gozer doesn't like taking pills by themselves so I lightly covered each one in peanut butter. She loved that.

I have more metalsmithing tomorrow so hopefully Gozer will be fine with Ian for the day. She's very attached to me and has a hard time when I'm not here.

Christmas party tomorrow

Ian's Christmas party is tomorrow night. I bought six different dresses online over the last few weeks and of those, only two looked good. I'm sending the other four back because they just don't look right. I'd have worn last year's dress the dress from two years ago* but I've lost about ten pounds since then and it doesn't fit. Besides, I couldn't make these dresses for what I paid for them.

These are the two dresses I ended up liking and keeping:

Dress #1, by Armand Basi

Dress #2, by Suzi Chin

Obviously both are knee-length on me but fortunately they look good at that length. I have a slight preference for dress #2 because it covers more of my back meaning I don't have to worry about my patches showing through. It also has a soft, warm, stretchy lining which I think will keep me warmer than I'd be in dress #1. I do love dress #1 because it is gorgeous but I think it needs to be saved for a non-winter occasion. I'll save it for another day.

Aside from finding myself a dress for the party, I've done no other shopping in preparation. I'm going to wear the shoes I bought a couple of years ago because they're comfortable and look nice. I've got enough hosiery that I'll be able to figure out something to go with the dress and shoes. I also have plenty of makeup so I didn't need to get any of that, either. Hopefully this means that I'll be relaxed before tomorrow night's party.


* For some reason, as I was writing that, I completely blocked out the fact that I didn't go to last year's party because I was in Edmonton after my mom died. It's weird: I remember what happened last year but somehow it's like it all happened in this alternate world.

Gozer ... and my mom

One of the other reasons I haven't been posting as much is that my mom killed herself a year ago and that's been weighing on me. It's hard to believe that a whole year has passed because it still feels like it happened just yesterday. I have been feeling sad and I have been missing my mom. I miss talking to her and I miss having her in my life. I wish she was still here - only happier than she was when she died. I have no idea whether there's any kind of life after death or anything like that but if there is, I hope that she's happy and content now. 

Having Gozer has helped deal with it because I have responsibilities to her. I can't just curl up and cry all the time, even if that's what I want to do, because she has to be fed and walked and cuddled. I have been taking the time to remember and mourn my mom but I'm not wallowing in it like I might have otherwise done.

Owning a dog is a lot of fun because I do love having her warm, furry body nearby all the time but it's also a lot of responsibility. A dog has to be walked in all weather, even the rain. Walking a dog in the rain isn't as fun as you might think it is. Gozer was so happy to be home out of the rain that she ran around like a crazy dog for a while. That's my girl, all right! Here's a really good picture of her that was taken by Ian's mom:

Look at that adorable face!

Bit of this, bit of that

It's been a couple of days since I posted because nothing really had been going on. I could have posted about how cute Gozer is and the cute things she does - like new moms do with their babies - but I didn't think that would terribly interesting. She does do incredibly cute things all the time and I find myself exclaiming over how adorable she is but if you're not here seeing it, well, it's just not the same.

This last week had been raining and humid and now we have that sour smell in our basement again. This time it's drifted upstairs, too, so our whole house has the smell to some extent. Nothing seems to be wet and there don't seem to be any leaks so we have no idea what's going on. We thought that maybe the traps under the sink or shower might have run dry so we've poured water down there but it hasn't made a difference. I hope it dissipates soon.

We took Gozer to meet Ian's parents today. This trip was a big one because she had two big car rides, went into someone else's house, and meet other people. I'd bought a seatbelt contraption for Gozer before and we tried it out on the drive down but it didn't work so well. It was both too big around and too short for her and at one point she wriggled out of it! Ian's parents gave us one that they had and it worked so much better. Gozer was able to stand up and look outside or lie down and sleep, all while staying safely belted in.

Gozer did very well in the other house and meeting people. She managed to sucker both of Ian's parents into letting her cuddle with them for a while :) She also cuddled with me, of course! She was very good about going into her crate and staying there quietly when we needed her to do that. She behaved herself very well all day and we're very proud of her.

It turns out that I'm not so good at training Gozer. For example, I forget that I'm not supposed to call her name when she's being bad and I let her stand up on her back legs and lick my face. Then I remember that I've never had a dog and that we've only had her for nine days and I feel better because I don't have to be perfect. However, I do want to get better at training her so that she doesn't develop bad habits that we have to undo later on so I need to get to reading the books I bought. I'll spend some time on that over the next few days.

Live show reviews

I believe I promised to take a break from talking about Gozer so that I could review the live shows that we've seen this past week. Speaking of reviews, I had an anonymous coward post a rather ridiculous comment insulting me because he/she/it didn't like what I had to say about Father's Day. Honestly, I found the whole thing more hilarious than upsetting. If you're going to insult me, please try to be creative. Also, please post under your own name so that I can take you seriously. Now, on to the reviews...

Last Thursday we went to see Rock of Ages, a musical that features music from the 80s. The story follows several people who are connected in some way to The Bourbon Room, a bar in Hollywood. Our main characters are Sherrie, who has arrived from a small town and wants to be a model, and Drew, an aspiring metal band frontman. Supporting characters include: Dennis, the bar's owner; Stacee Jaxx, a hot hair band frontman; Hertz and Franz, who want to knock down the bar to revitalize the Strip; Regina, who is protesting the bar's closure; and Justice, a strip club Madame. And of course there's Lonny the bar patron who also serves as narrator and speaks directly to the audience.

The story is entertaining, if shallow, and the songs are fun. Sometimes the dancing and the behaviour can be a little flamboyant, if you know what I mean, and if you're not into that style it can feel like a little much. The ensemble cast doing their sexy dancing in their sexy clothes makes up for some of that flamboyancy - in fact, some of the dancing can be a little too sexy, if you know what I mean, and some might find that dancing a little much. However, I noticed that many people (especially the men) were watching these dancers very carefully and none of them seemed to find it too sexy or think it was too much.

All in all, Rock of Ages was a fairly entertaining, light-hearted couple of hours. Because the story and characters are a little one-note, if you don't like the songs in this musical then you probably won't like the show all that much. At the same time, if you do like the songs then you'll probably like the show, especially if you can get tickets on the cheap.

On Monday we saw André-Philippe Gagnon. I had no idea what kind of a show I was going to see so I had no expectations. It turns out that he's does musical impressions and that he's quite good at it. Not every voice or tempo was perfect but almost all of them were spot-on.

The first hour of the show was a history of rock and roll from the 1950s to the present. What's amazing is that he's able to capture not just the singing voices of all of these singers but also their mannerisms and facial expressions. It was amazing to watch him transform from one to the other to the next over the course of a few minutes. He'd sprinkle in funny comments occasionally and sometimes he would change the lyrics to be funny in some way or another but this part of the performance was less funny and more awe-inspiring.

After he finished up the history, he got the audience more involved. He had one fellow (who was clearly not a singer) sing a verse from some song and then he was going to imitate that fellow. Instead, he switched the mic back and forth between them and it was hilarious - somehow he sounded just like the guy from the audience, flat and off-key notes and all.

I really enjoyed this show and I'd love to see him perform again. I figure that he does a slightly different show on each tour so there would be something new to see each time. If you get a chance to see André-Philippe Gagnon, take it - it's worth the time and cost.

Some pictures of Gozer

We haven't been able to take any good pictures of Gozer but I managed to get a few cellphone pics of her. Have a look at our little cutie after the jump.

More about Gozer

Life with Gozer is going really well. Because Ian has been curling in a tournament I've had to take care of her on my own and I think it's been good. She appears to be housetrained. She's slowly learning her name although she hasn't yet learned the "sit" command. She does know that the only places she gets treats are where we try to do the sit command and near her crate so after walks she'll run from one place to another trying to get a treat. I don't give in to that, of course. I tell you, she's a pretty smart dog.

She's also doing better on our walks. She is a fast walker and I'm getting a ton of exercise going for twice-daily 45 to 60 minute walks. She doesn't pull too much unless she picks up a scent she likes or sees a dog she wants to meet. When that happens, she strains against the leash and I have to try to calm her down. She's not bad at meeting dogs although she can get a little barky with them.

Her favourite times appear to be cuddle times, and not just because that's the only time she's allowed on the furniture. She loves to go up on the couch and she especially loves to go up onto the bed but the only pieces of furniture she's allowed on are any floor cushions and the ottoman. Cuddle times are when I sit in the swivel rocker chair and she sits on or beside me. She loves to be in physical contact with me (of course I love being in physical contact with her, too) and will sleep (after giving me many doggy kissies) for hours there if I let her. She appears to have learned that she can't just jump up on me and will wait to be invited there. At all other times she's happy to sit on a cushion or the ottoman as long as we're nearby.

The night before last she decided that she didn't want to sleep in her crate and barked and whined most of the night. I sleep with earplugs so it wasn't such a big deal for me but it was quite disruptive for Ian. Fortunately she only whined and barked a bit last night and settled right down after that so we both slept well. This morning she even went in her crate all by herself!

We've tried to take some pictures of her but the light hasn't been good. We'll keep on trying so that you can see what a cutie she is. Everyone who meets her says that she's adorable and of course I agree with them :) She's at her most cute when she's playing with her kong or setting up the blanket in her sleeping area.

Having a dog is definitely a new experience for me and it's one that I'm enjoying even if I am tired from walking and getting up a bit early. She's happy and healthy and is making this place her new home. It'll take a while for me to get used to the new routines with her but I'm looking forward to having her here all the time.

Gozer is home!

Gozer is home and settling in well to the house. It's been an eventful 24 hours or so since she first walked in through the door!

After we picked her up, we drove to a spot near the house and took her for a very long two hour walk to get rid of some of her energy. We showed her around the house and she managed to relax a bit. She found her crate and went fully in there (with the help of a treat lure) for a peaceful rest. We took that as a sign that she could stay in her crate while we went to the show. She handled being in the crate and being on her own quite well. Of course we took her for walks before and after we went to the show.

She whimpered a bit when we first put her in the crate to sleep but settled down right after that. She only woke up a couple of times in the night to play with her Kong, which she likes. She had a hard time playing with it because she was wearing the cone but she got some enjoyment out of it anyways.

We set out this morning around 9:15am to take her for a bit of a walk and then to see the vet. This vet is really close to us and she's really gentle, friendly, and great with Gozer. Gozer had been on the antibiotic because she had an infection in her uterus which she would have got while she was in heat. Because the uterus filled with fluid, her teats thought it was time to produce milk and now we have to milk her so that she doesn't develop mastitis. Gozer got her booster shots and she'll be getting another one in a couple of weeks for something or other that's transmitted by skunks, squirrels, and raccoons.

After we left the vet's, we ended up walking for about two more hours, exhausting all three of us. I sat in the chair and she slept on me while I dozed. She prefers to be near people but she will sit on her own cushion. We're allowing her to sit on the ottoman but not the couch and not on any other chair without one of us. She'll figure out what the conditions are. She's already figuring out that she's not allowed to jump on people.

I love having Gozer around; she's a cute little doggy and she's quite comfortable here. I'm happy that we brought her home and that she's part of the family.

2011 American Music Awards Red Carpet

It's been ages since I've done a red carpet post! I've been waiting for an event that had a red carpet that I could review and I finally found one: The American Music Awards, held Sunday, November 20. Short, tight, and shiny was definitely the order for the day which is a bit surprising since the day was chilly and threatening rain. 

As usual, I've only looked at the women on the red carpet and you can see them after the jump.

Visit with Gozer

We went to visit with goer again today. She's feeling much, much better than she was; in fact, I'd say that she's back to her pre-surgery self.

We started by taking her for a 35 minute walk along a trail near the humane society. I was some kind of tired after that walk because there were some big hills involved. Gozer, on the other hand, wasn't at all tired - that dog has a ton of energy to spend. Hopefully this means that we'll be able to walk her home on Thursday. Apparently because dogs migrate by walking, it's better to walk them from their old home to their new one so that they know they're going to a new home. We'll need to take a long walk when we get home anyway so that she's tired.

The only thing about walking her home is that the first part of the most direct route has no sidewalks and there's a lot of truck traffic. There's also a pedestrian bridge going over the train tracks that she'd have to cross and we don't know whether or not she can handle the stairs or that bridge. We're going to look for a different, possibly slightly longer, route home that avoids that area.

When we got back, Gozer sat with us really nicely and enjoyed our company. We re-measured her and she really is about 23 or 24 inches long. We also discovered that she's got a weird way of sitting: she puts her two back feet together when sitting. We'd brought her crate blanket with us so that it would pick up her smell and maybe make the transition to our house easier and we were able to rub it along her while talking to her and cuddling.


She's a very curious, inquisitive dog and I think she's smart. I'm not just saying that because she's so cute and she's going to be our dog! She couldn't tear her eyes away from the doberman mommy dog (she had 9 puppies in the shelter that have almost all been adopted) who was being photographed outside our room. She'd seen this other dog as we were coming in and we wouldn't let her go over there; she's been curious about other dogs but not like that. She's also previously been able to figure out how to look behind a roller blind in the rooms if she's looked behind it already.


If she is as inquisitive as I think she is and as smart as I think she is, we're going to need to be sure to provide her with things to do and puzzles to solve or else she'll end up bored and destructive. She also has more energy than we thought she did and she loooves going for walks so I foresee a lot of walking and playing in our future.

Interestingly, the shelter adopted out a whole lot of animals this past weekend. Most of the cats have been adopted, which made me happy (because I do love cats). There are more and more strays coming in, however, which is so sad. I'm happy to be able to take one of their dogs; I just wish we had her home already.

No Gozer until Thursday

We were surprised and disappointed to discover that Gozer couldn't come home with us today. Worse, we have to wait until Thursday to bring her home - how sad is that?

We started out this morning very excited and nervous - but trying to be calm - about bringing home our new furchild and introducing her to her new home. The adoption center opened at 1pm and at first we tried to call to make sure that Gozer was ready to come home, but since the phone went straight to voice mail we decided to just go there. It was crazy busy with people adopting pets and a whole bunch of kids looking at all the animals - no wonder they didn't answer the phone!

We filled out the paperwork and got all the information we needed to bring her home. We were all set to go and on our way to get Gozer when suddenly the person helping us said, "uh oh". What? She had been looking through Gozer's paperwork and saw, for the first time, a sheet indicating that Gozer was on a second medication that won't be finished until Wednesday night. We'd originally had to wait until today to bring her home because she was on painkillers after her surgery and now we have to wait another four days.

Of course we're sad that she can't come home today. Ian has this week off from work both for curling and to help with the dog (and for playing Skyrim). Thursday night we have tickets to see Rock of Ages and we should have had no problems seeing the show if Gozer had come home today. With her coming home on Thursday, seeing the show might not be possible. If she likes her crate then she'll probably be ok if we went out for a couple of hours because we'll have tired her out by then. Of course it would be better if someone were here with her whether or not she likes her crate but if she doesn't go into her crate on her own, then someone must stay with her. I don't know which will be better: finding someone to sit with her or someone to take our tickets (if we're willing to give them up).

On the bright side, we now have more time to read the books we bought and to learn how to train her. This means I'll be much more confident in dealing with her, which is a good thing. We'll also be able to visit her and bring her the blanket we'll put in her crate so that it makes the transition home easier. Besides, waiting a few days to bring Gozer home won't matter in the long run because she'll be with us for forever. I just wish that she didn't have to stay in the shelter for those four more days.

Tomorrow's the big day!

We get to bring our furchild home tomorrow! We've decided to name our dog Gozer from Ghostbusters. We know it isn't a perfect name because it doesn't have a hard consonant sound in it but we're happy enough with it. Besides, it's a word that we never say so our cute little Gozer won't get confused when we say her name.

We visited her and took her for a short walk today. She was wearing a cone and was clearly very unhappy with it. She was very good about heeling and slowing her pace while Ian was holding the leash. Unfortunately, she didn't react so well when we saw other dogs. Instead of being nice and maybe trying to meet them, she was fearful and aggressive. The first two times she barked like crazy and tried to go after the dog she saw. It took quite a bit for us to pull her away from those dogs. After that she didn't bark or lunge quite so much and we hope this means that she'll see us as her pack leaders.

We're excited and nervous about bringing Gozer home tomorrow. We've been preparing the house by tidying things up and trying to set things up for her. We set up her crate in the bedroom with an afghan overtop so that it's nice and denlike. The crate looks so big that I worry that I measured wrong and that she'll fit in a smaller crate. If the crate does turn out to be too big, we can always return it and get a smaller one. We've also been trying to read up on how to introduce her to the house and how to train her but there's a lot to remember.

Having a dog is much more complicated than having cats; i hope I'm up for the challenge. I'm definitely looking forward to having a dog around that can keep me company. I'll learn more about how to raise and train a dog over time.

Shopping for our dog

I figured that since our soon-to-be furchild is coming home this weekend I should pick up some supplies. I ended up spending about two hours trying to figure out which things she might like and which we need right away. Before doing the shopping, I visited her just to see how she was doing after being spayed on Wednesday. They shaved off all of her fur! I didn't even recognize her when I first saw her. She looked so sad being all furless! Because it's cold out and she's bald all over, I bought a tshirt, fleece thingy, and a sweater for her to wear while walking.

She's healing well from the surgery although she's quite lethargic and slow. She's still on painkillers until Apparently she hadn't responded well to wearing a cone so she wasn't wearing one but fortunately she hasn't been pulling at her incision or anything. When I first sat with her she was all trembly but she relaxed very quickly into my arms while I pet her and talked to her. I think she'll be much more comfortable once she comes home.

I ended up buying a ton of stuff, including the above-mentioned shirts, a couple of different collars, food, treats, a crate, and some toys. Trying to decide what to buy for her was really hard because I've never had a dog and I have no idea what this dog likes. She doesn't play with toys in the shelter and I don't have any idea which toys she might like to play with at home so I just picked a couple basically at random. I don't even know which collars will be best, or which seatbelt contraptions, so I got different kinds of each one. I did buy the same food that she's been eating at the shelter because I don't want to upset her tummy.

We're going to need to buy many more things for our furchild but at least we we have enough stuff to get started and to make her comfortable when she comes home. After she's fully recovered from the surgery we'll be able to take her into the store so that she can pick our her own toys and treats.

I'm looking forward to bringing her home on Sunday. Of course we still don't have a name for her but we're still working on it; right now we're looking at names of flowers as possibilities. One way or another, she'll have a name on Sunday.

American Horror Story

We recorded and started watching the series American Horror Story on FX Canada. The series takes place in a haunted house where many, many people have died into which a family with problems has moved. There are ghosts aplenty associated with the house although it isn't always clear which characters are ghosts and which are real.

We've only seen the first three episodes on the series but I'm definitely hooked. The characters are imperfect and multi-faceted like real people, the dialogue is sharp, and there's a spookiness in some scenes that I really like. Some scenes are actually scary while others are just creepy and still others only seem strange after getting additional knowledge. There are times when I can't look away from the screen because whatever is happening there is so compelling.

This is a series that is unlike anything else on tv these days and it's about time that we had something this interesting, creepy, and compelling. I don't know if the series is going to continue to be this good but I hope so, because this is one series that was made for me.

Thinking about my mom

While I'd planned to see our dog today, I fell asleep and missed the window of opportunity for the visit. I feel bad because I'd wanted to see her before her surgery tomorrow but she'll be ok without me. Besides, when she comes home she'll be with us for a long time; it's not like this is the last time I'll be able to see her. At least, I hope that today wasn't he last time I could have seen her because that would be super-sad. I'm just not going to think about that.

I was pretty tired because I haven't been sleeping all that well lately. The anniversary of my mom's suicide is coming up and I'm feeling a bit stressed about it. I'm handling it and all the other stress pretty well with writing in my journal, meditating, checking in and finding out how I'm feeling, and doing things that make me happy. Even so, some things catch me by surprise.

Yesterday as I was leaving the humane society I happened to look in one of the cat rooms. There were three cats in the room: one was a calico that was sleeping in the litterbox. Normally cats don't sleep where they use the bathroom so to see a scruffy-looking cat sleeping like that and knowing that this was the closest thing to a comfortable box really bothered me. I started crying - and even now, thinking about that cat, I still start crying.

My mom had a really soft spot for cats. Her most favourite cat ever - Smokey - was a stray from the neighbourhood. Some kids came to tell her that other kids had cornered this cat in an old PCB barrel and were throwing things at it and my mom rescued that cat. Except for colouring (and gender, I guess), this calico cat could have been her favourite cat. There's also something about seeing the cats and wanting to bring them all home with me like my mom always wanted to do.

I miss my mom so much, even now. I miss my dad, too, and I didn't really start missing him until my mom died. Getting a dog is wonderful and I'm looking forward to it, but I wish my mom was here so that I could share it with her.

More doggy time

Thanks for all your suggestions on dog names and where to find them! We're still thinking of names. Ian's considering Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All ("Stormy", for short), which was Alfie the baby's name in a Doctor Who episode. That could work, although it seems like a pretty complicated name for a dog. He's also suggested Fizzgig from The Dark Crystal because Fizzgig was a cute fuzzball.

Speaking of our soon-to-be furchild, I went to visit her today and spent a good amount of time visiting. In addition to sitting with her, I took her for a bit of a walk. The person who put her on the leash for me told me that there was a nice path over by the dumpsters, which I would find if I walked around the center. Well, I walked around with the furchild but couldn't find this path so I walked back and around again. This time I went the other direction around the center and ended up walking by a number of cages, setting every single one barking. Oh, the noise!

The dog doesn't pull too much at the leash although she does walk much faster than I do. I tried jogging a bit with her and that seemed to be about the right speed but it wasn't something I could keep up. Clearly she needs a fair amount of exercise and I think we're both going to lose weight by walking her. She prefers to go her own way when she's walking although she usually responds to a light pull on the leash.

At one point she wanted to head up a path that was marked "Private Property" - unsurprisingly, her reading skills aren't all that good - and she wouldn't respond to a tug on the leash. In fact, she tried to flatten herself to the ground rather than turn around. Fortunately, when she stopped to sniff something I stood in front of her so that she couldn't continue and she turned around. When we went back into the center she was bound and determined to go and visit the lovely black kittens and didn't respond to tugs on the leash then, either. She's definitely in need of some obedience training. I ordered four books today from different authors on training dogs; they should arrive before she comes home.

She's very smart, too, I think. When we were sitting in a privacy room to visit, she went to look out the window to see who was there. I pulled down the roller blind so that the view was blocked and she figured out how to look around the side so she could still see out. Even if she isn't smart, at least she's not a "slow" dog.

I hope to visit her again tomorrow. While we were visiting, I petted her and it occurred to me that I could brush her while I was doing that. Although they trimmed her facial hair a bit, she's still got some matts and tangles in her body hair. They said that I was welcome to bring a brush and brush her if I want; I think doing that would be a good way to let her get to know me better.

Video game: Skyrim

We'd planned to go and see our soon-to-be furchild and take her for a walk this weekend until we realized that the adoption centre has very limited weekend hours. They'd said that it was likely that other people would want to come and visit with the dog even though we were first on the list. With so few hours for other people and us to visit, we figured that it would be better if we didn't go and see her. I'll go tomorrow for a visit and maybe a short walk.

While we did manage to get some yardwork done today, we actually spent most of the weekend playing video games. Well, Ian played and I watched. He's started playing The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, an role-playing open-world game with magic and dragons and battles and quests and at least 100 hours of gameplay.

It's easy to get lost in playing the game because there's so much to do. There's the main storyline to play as well as tons of smaller side quests and the player can just find things by exploring an area. Add to that all the different character combinations, skill trees, and choices that can be made along the way and you can see that the game can be as complex as the player wants it to be.

The game is visually lovely and filled with lots and lots of details. It's made by the same company as that made the later Fallout games - a series I love - and there are many similarities between the two games even though Skyrim is much more complex than the Fallout games. To be honest, I prefer the Fallout story and world because I like post-apocalyptic settings more than the fantasy settings as in Skyrim. Even so, I'm enjoying watching Ian play the game. That's good because there's a lot more game yet to play!

Time for a dog

It looks like we're going to become furparents! We visited our soon-to-be furchild today at the humane society. This is her cute, if dirty and scruffy self:

She came in to the center as a stray about a week and a half ago and since her owners didn't claim her within five days, she went up for adoption. I don't think she's been out on the street for all that long because while her hair is dirty and matted, she's not malnourished and her hair is in good shape. She looks like a bigger version of a shih-tzu so they think she's a lhasa apso/shih-tzu mix and about two years old.

She was clearly treated more as a person and less as a dog at her previous owner's house. When I sat on the floor with her, she would stand up, put her paws on my shoulders, and lean in for a cuddle the way one would cuddle a child. And she licked my nose and lips and chin many, many, many times - I've never been french-kissed by a dog before. She's also a jumper, especially when she saw a leash (which was also the only time she barked), and she prefers to sit in a lap. We're going to need to do some obedience training with her which will be more complicated by the fact that apparently she doesn't respond to food rewards or many toys, although she does play with people.

While she was very excited and her eyes were a little wild and scared at the start of our visit, after about 25 or 30 minutes she calmed right down and was sitting nicely like a good dog at our feet. I had the cane with me even though I'm not suing it these days and it didn't even phase her. We felt that since she was able to calm down and accept us, and since we like her even though she's a bit of a badly-behaved dog, she's a suitable dog for our home.

The shelter operates on a first-come, first-serve basis for adoptions and since we were the first to put in an application, which they've already approved, we'll almost certainly get to be her furparents. Yay!! She's going to be spayed on November 16 and will be able to come home on or after November 20. We're allowed to go and visit her before and after the surgery, which we'll definitely do. We want to visit her this weekend and take her out for a walk and see how she is on the leash. They're also going to give her a bit of a grooming today or tomorrow so she should look nice and pretty for us.

One thing we want to do is give her a good name: the shelter calls her Peppy but we don't really like it. Suggestions for names or how to choose good names are welcome. We have a lot of other things to do to prepare for her arrival - thank goodness we have some time to get things ready.

So much for that party

It seems like my Pampered Chef party is destined not to happen this year. You might remember that my last attempt at holding the party was canceled by my consultant because she had some kind of family emergency going on. We rescheduled for next Monday and she emailed me today to cancel because she's had a death in the family. It was awkward enough telling my guests that the first party was cancelled but to do it twice is a little weird.

Right now the plan is to reschedule for sometime in the New Year but we haven't set a date for it. I'm going to wait to set a date until after Christmas because there's a lot going on before then.

In some ways it's ok that the party was canceled because I wasn't sure I'd have enough people this time around. Not having to worry about getting everything together right now is ok by me, especially since the anniversary of my mom's suicide is coming up in about three weeks. I know that the days leading up to that day and the day itself are going to be hard and need a lot of energy and attention. Therefore it's important that I spend the rest of my energy doing things that I find soothing and that make me happy. Preparing for a party isn't really one of those things.

Book Review: Swan Song

It's been a long time since I've stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reading a book but that's exactly what's happened over the last few days while I read Swan Song by Robert McCammon. I'd downloaded a sample on my kindle and found myself engrossed in it, which should have been a sign that I would be unable to put it down at night.

This book focuses on several people who find themselves alive after a nuclear holocaust. As they're faced with the difficulties of surviving a years-long nuclear winter, their true selves emerge and they find themselves on either a good or evil side. Central to the good side is Swan, who is able to make things grow, and Sister, a former New York bag lady who finds a crystal ring. Focusing evil energies are a former Colonel and his protege and something fundamentally evil.

All of the main characters are very well-rounded and have depth to them. They feel like real people and the reader feels sympathetic to them even when they're being unlikable. Where the writing really works is in the way the situations are described. It's been a long time since I've felt so tense or worried or happy for characters in a book. I always wanted to find out what happened next and while I had an idea about where the story was going to go, the specifics were always a surprise.

The only area where I found the story was lacking was in the way that the characters were so unaffected by radiation. Radiation was definitely part of their lives and experience but they didn't get as sick as I would have expected given that they were out amongst the radioactive fallout. Other than this one small issue, I found the book pretty much flawless.

This book has been compared to Stephen King's The Stand and the two books are definitely similar. Both have a battle between good and evil after some kind of disaster that wiped out most of civilization. The Stand is still one of my favourite books but I have to say that Swan Song is a better read. The Stand is in need of some ruthless cutting as the story is much too long and has a tendency to drag in places while Swan Song is tightly written with no extra bits and nothing missing. If you're a fan of The Stand, you'll love Swan Song and if you've been avoiding The Stand because of its length, definitely give Swan Song a read.

Metalsmithing fun

This week is the last for my regularly-scheduled metalsmithing classes this session. I've missed so many classes for one or another reason and I haven't made up all (or even most) of the classes I've missed. Of the three projects I started, I've given up on one, made progress on the second, and am struggling with the third. I had no idea that it would be so hard to make a bezel (aka a strip of metal) conform to an smallish irregular shape. I was able to get square, 2mm thick wire to conform to a larger irregular shape with no problem but the smaller not-quite-oval is giving me trouble.

Lucky for me, my instructor is offering open studio nights before Christmas so I'll be able to finish all these projects. I could also, in theory, work on things at home and then solder or finish them as needed in the open studio. It could happen, although I'd have to work at to achieve that goal. My psychologist suggested that I use a calendar to structure my days more effectively so that I can get things done each day instead of sitting around watching tv and surfing the interwebs. If I do that I can be sure that I make time for this hobby and for walking (which she has recommended I do twice a day for 20 or 30 minutes each time).

I'm also going to sign up for a one-weekend workshop on enameling metal. I've been interested in doing this for awhile because it's a way to introduce colour to a piece without using stones. I think she's going to give us instructions on making Christmas ornaments using enameling techniques which I think would be an awesome thing to make. I can imagine a pendant and earring or ring set also.

I plan to continue taking metalsmithing classes in the new year. I'm hoping that I'll be able to spend more time working on projects since that's when the weather starts to really get cold and I don't like to go outside then. By then I should be a pro at this scheduling thing.

The mulberry tree has a new home

It turns out that moving the weeping mulberry tree was very easy. It helps that Ian had dug out the birch tree stump yesterday so the hole was already there. When we first uncovered the roots we thought that they were wrapped cables because they were about a quarter to three-eighths of an inch in diameter and butter yellow. I always thought roots were brownish like the trunks are; I never expected them to be bright yellow.

Anyways, the mulberry tree's yellow roots are quite shallow and so it was easy to dig them up and move them to the hole Ian had already dug. We put the soil back in, stood back, and Ian said that it should have been moved six inches over that way. I kind of agreed with him but we decided it wasn't worth moving it. We went up to the greenhouse and wandered around the garden and every time either of us looked back at the tree we said, "yeah, it really should be moved, but it's not worth the trouble."

Finally, just as we were about to go in and call it a day for outside chores, I looked back at the tree and said once again that it should be moved so pulled out the shovels and moved it that six or eight inches over that way.  We were both much happier with the placement of the tree now, at least from outside. To be perfectly placed from the great room it needed to be moved a few inches over the other way. We're not going to move it again, however!

Hopefully the tree will survive the transplant. It's dropped its leaves already so we figure it's dormant enough and should happily settle into its new location. It definitely has more space for its roots than it did before; in its previous location, it could only grow roots in two directions. We tried not to pack the soil around the roots too tightly so it should have lots of room to grow new roots. However, we're a bit worried that if we get big wind storms, it won't stand up too well. We'll have to wait and see how the tree holds up.

At last, some normalcy

Finally, after a whole week of doing as little as possible, I think I'm back to feeling like a normal person. I'm no longer exhausted and wanting to sleep all the time or feeling fuzzy-headed and stupid. I think I also managed to avoid getting sick which I consider a real accomplishment. I was doing so much more than I normally do and I was around so many more people than I usually am. The plane rides alone would have been enough to make me sick!

I did try to eat well, to rest when I could, and to get as much quality sleep as I could. Somehow this managed to work to make me not sick. Unfortunately, Ian doesn't seem to be so lucky. He's coming down with something so he's getting as much rest as possible and drinking lots of fluid - including cranberry tea, which we think of "sick person's tea". I hope that he manages to avoid getting too sick because he's got things to do. Work won't just do itself, apparently.

The one thing we're going to try to do this weekend is to move our weeping mulberry tree. It's over by our neighbour's crooked fence and we've decided to move it to the spot where the topiary birch had been sitting. That location was definitely set up for a tree of some sort and the weeping mulberry will be perfect for that place. Between the two of us (and possibly our neighbour, if he notices we're out there), it shouldn't take too much energy to move the tree. We're spending the rest of the weekend playing video games and relaxing in front of the tv so that Ian doesn't get any sicker..

Conference in Baltimore

The day after the Toronto After Dark Film Festival finished, I went to Baltimore for a one-day conference on living with metastatic breast cancer that was sponsored by the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network (MBCN). When I booked the trip I didn't care so much about the conference itself; my whole reason for going was to hang out with my friends.

I was able to take an earlier combination of flights to Baltimore which meant that I could have a nap before the evening's get-together and dinner. One thing I loved about this particular hotel was the sheets on the bed. They were the softest, smoothest, most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on ever in my life. We all raved about these sheets because they were so awesome. It turns out that they're Comphy microfiber sheets and they can be purchased for home use. Ian doesn't love smooth sheets but I'm going to buy these anyways because they're so amazingly soft and comfortable. Even though they were polyester microfiber, I didn't sweat or feel hot at all; they felt and breathed like the softest silk.

We ate at the hotel that night and although the food was great, the service was terrible. Our server didn't ask whether the 14 of us wanted separate bills and gave us one ginormous bill that we couldn't divide because we didn't know what was taxed at what rate. she was cranky throughout our service and when we asked her to separate the bills she got really angry. She took 45 minutes to separate our bills out for us and she wasn't separating them that whole time; she went for a walk and was talking on the phone.

The conference itself was much more informative than I thought it would be. I figured that I'd hear information I'd heard before but they actually talked about new-to-me things. They talked about cutting-edge treatments in vaccines, for example, and how they worked which I knew nothing about.

At lunch on Saturday we took a photo of us all. Notice the boots I'm wearing - they're the Frye Veronica slouch boots that I'd wanted. Yes, I bought them! They're so comfortable and gorgeous.... just like all of the women in this picture.

Baltimore MBCN 2011 conference group photo
I'm in the tie-dye top in front (wearing the great boots).

I left the conference a bit early because I was still really tired. Although I'd planned to get up around 6pm, I someone called to wake me at 8pm and I rushed out to dinner. I was so happy they waited for me! We went down to the Fell's Point area for Spanish Tapas and then the yummiest gelato and sipping chocolate. We hadn't known that Fell's Point was the main area for all the bars and stuff and we hadn't thought about the fact that it was the weekend before Halloween. We were pleasantly surprised to see all those people dressed up for Halloween. Watching costumed people walk by is an interesting pastime although it would have been more fun if they weren't all drunk.

As great a time as I'd had talking and catching up with people, I was really tired after being away from home for so long and I wanted to get home. My flights were delayed and I freaked out a bit but I made it home safely. I've spent the week catching up and relaxing and I think I'm finally mostly normal.

Toronto After Dark Film Festival reviews, part 3

Wednesday, October 26
The Corridor
This film focused on a fellow who'd had a psychotic break after his mother died and who got together with his friends at his mother's cabin in the woods to say goodbye to her and to reconnect with his friends. Things go awry when his friends go as crazy as he did after they discovers this other-worldly corridor. To be honest, the portrayals of mental illness throughout were so well done that they hit a little too close to home for me and I ended up a little uncomfortable watching parts of this film.

One thing I loved about the film is that the purpose and presence of other-worldly corridor and everything connected to it was deliberately left vague. Was that corridor really there? That's up to the viewer. This film was very well-acted and the story and music were quite compelling.

The director was there for a bit of Q&A afterwards and apparently this film was difficult to shoot because they decided to shoot live in the middle of winter in the Nova Scotia. It hadn't occurred to him at the time that once someone walks through the snow, there's no resetting the snow for another take so a lot of the scenes had to be shot in just one take. I thought the film was good before this knowledge, and now I think it's even better.

There is some gore in the film although most of the time the viewer just sees the aftermath of violence and gore. This is a thought-provoking film that I really enjoyed it and I highly recommend it to you.

Vs
This film had a fantastic premise: take four super-heroes, deprive them of their super-powers, and set up challenges where they have to choose whether to save themselves or innocent people. Think about that for a second - it sounds really interesting, doesn't it?

Sadly, this was one film that definitely did not live up to its hype or its promise. during the Q&A afterwards, the reason this film was so bad became quite clear. The director was also the writer and all the actors were given their lines along with exactly how to say them. Had someone helped the director/writer by reviewing the lines, they wouldn't have sounded so wooden. Unfortunately, actors can't do much with wooden lines except deliver them woodenly.

This film could have been really good and it turned out to be really bad. Don't waste your time finding or watching this one.


Thursday, October 27
The Woman
I was interested in seeing this film because I'd read the book. I remember thinking that the book felt a little superficial and that it would make a better movie than it would a book. It turns out that I was right: it made a better movie than it did a book. The movie didn't go quite as far in scenes involving sex as did the book but otherwise it stayed completely true to the book. The story is about a cannibal woman who is found by a guy who wants his family to help tame her.

In some ways I felt that maybe it was a little too close to the book because the film held no surprises for me. I wasn't shocked by anything that happened - and believe me, some of what's in that book/film is shocking - and I found that a little disappointing. This film is unsettling in many ways, and not just because it involves cannibals.

With one exception, the acting in the film was really good. That exception was a supporting character and because her acting was so bad she was a distraction. Everything else about the film, from the story to the music to the acting to the editing was very well-done. If you didn't know what was going to happen in advance and you love gory movies, this is a film for you.

The Innkeepers
This, the closing film of the festival, was billed as a super-scary supernatural horror film with non-stop action in its second half. I was really tired by the time this film was shown and I thought about skipping it but decided to see it because it was the last film. I should have skipped it and gone to bed early as it just wasn't that good.

If I wasn't expecting non-stop action in the second half I might have enjoyed this film more than I did. In this film, two amateur paranormal hunter friends are trying to find evidence of ghosts in the hotel at which they work which also happens to be closing the next week. The friends have fun exploring the hotel until the one sees a ghost. Then the chase is on! There was an interesting twist at the end and this was also one of those films that could be interpreted in different ways, which I enjoyed.

Interestingly, during the Q&A the director said that he and his crew stayed at this particular hotel, which really does exist, while filming this and a previous film. He got the idea for this film because weird things kept happening at the hotel - doors opened and closed, there were weird thumping sounds, and other things like that.

The acting was believable, the story was good, and the music and editing were good. If you're not expecting a super-exciting second half like I was, this would be an enjoyable film and one I'd recommend.


Overall Experience
Each main film was also paired with a short film, which I haven't reviewed. The short films were almost all Canadian and almost every one was good. Overall, I enjoyed this film festival. Some of the films were great and others were not at all great but what made the festival especially interesting was that there were so many Q&A sessions with people involved with the films. These sessions gave each of the films more depth and made the films more interesting. I always love insight into the process behind which a film gets made.

I really enjoyed going to this film festival and I had a great time there. I will definitely consider going back to this festival next year. Now I know that if they're promoting something as a "world premiere", it's probably an indie film and probably isn't that great. However, there are enough other good films - including the aforementioned short films - to make it worth attending for at least another year.

It's possible - some might even say likely - that I'll "grow out" of this festival since I'm always looking for bigger, badder, and crazier films. Since my favourites from this festival were originally shown at bigger festivals in Montreal and LA, I can see myself wanting to go to one of those film festivals eventually.

Toronto After Dark Film Festival reviews, part 2

While I'd wanted to finish all eight remaining movie reviews but I'm still very tired and was up early for denosumab today so I only wrote four reviews. I'll have the remaining four for you tomorrow.


Monday, October 24
Absentia
This film was funded entirely through Kickstarter, a site that provides brings together people who need money for a project with small investors who are willing to contribute money towards projects. It's a great idea that made a great dramatic, well-paced, well-acted, and well-told film.

In this film, a woman whose husband disappeared seven years ago is about to declare her husband dead in absentia. Her drug-addict sister has come to provide moral support and discovers that there's something weird about the nearby tunnel. There's some creepy stuff here - or is it just a drug-induced hallucination? Either way, this is a great story. I found the film less frightening and more unsettling with a few climactic scenes.

I highly recommend this film if you're interested in creepy films involving ordinary people.

A Lonely Place to Die
I loved this film; it was one of my favourites from the whole festival. In it, a group of mountain-climbing friends discover a young girl who is being held captive. They immediately shelve their plans to go climbing to move to get the girl down to the nearest village... all while being hunted by the girl's captors.

Sure, this is mostly a chase movie, but it's a GOOD chase game. It helps that the scenery in Scotland is gorgeous and the action is quite realistic. One of the directors was there for the Q&A and apparently they'd wanted to make a mountain-climbing movie so they learned to do rock-climbing. They taught everyone in the cast how to climb and did some of the stunts, too.

If you like action films or mountain-climbing, this film is for you. I highly recommend it.


Tuesday, October 25
The Divide
This film was my other favourite from the festival. It's about what happens to a group of people trapped in a bunker after a nuclear holocaust. The conflicts between the characters and the actions they take are very realistic and sometimes horrifying. This film portrays the kind of dark, realistic, post-apocalyptic scenario I love to watch because it makes me think about people and the things they're capable of doing once there's no civilization or society to constrain their actions.

The director and some of the actors were there for the Q&A after the movie and apparently the movie was shot in chronological order over 31 days and the characters were put on a severely reduced diet for that entire time. The film's timeline was basically scripted but all of the actors were able to give suggestions for their characters. Apparently tensions were quite high off-set because everyone was starving and not everyone got along and all of that made it into the film. I hadn't known all of this before watching the film and now that I do know it, I want to watch the film again.

This is not a film for the squeamish or faint of heart. If you want to see how people would behave if they were trapped underground with a lack of food, this is the film to watch. It's an intense experience and one that I enjoyed very much; I highly recommend it.

Manborg
Ian was really looking forward to seeing this film while I wasn't quite so excited about it. It was made in the style of an 80s VHS movie with all those crazy special effects, bad dialogue, and unusual story. It ended up being a funny, lighthearted movie with lots of good stop-motion animation. If you like this type of movie, this is the one for you.

As an aside, the director was there and apparently this film was made for a very small budget (and it shows). The director was also responsible for Father's Day so clearly he's got more interests than just cheesy movies.

Toronto After Dark Film Festival reviews, part 1

As promised, here are reviews for the first few days of films I saw at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival. I'll post the remainder of the film reviews tomorrow.

Thursday, October 20
Monster Brawl
Already reviewed.


Friday, October 21
The sound problems in the cinema were worse this night. I`d forgotten earplugs and so my ears were ringing and I couldn't hear people talking after the first film. When I left the second film, my hearing was a bit worse: when I heard loud noises it felt like someone was driving a spike through my eardrums. It was very painful. In addition to being afraid of damaging my hearing, the sound issues were making it difficult for me to enjoy the shows.

When I got back to the hotel, I contacted the film festival organization through their website and also emailed them via a contact email I found there about the sound. I figured I wasn't the only person affected and that if they didn't know how bad it was, they didn't have any motive to fix it.

Exit Humanity
I don't know if it was the sound problems in the theatre or what, but the actors appeared to have been cast based on how well they used their breathing to convey emotion. I can see the auditions now: "Give me anguished! Now enraged... ok, now anguished AND enraged!" This was a little distracting, as I'm sure you can imagine.

This film is kind of a zombie Western that is divided up into seven or eight chapters with title cards. A man comes home from an unthinkable Civil War in which zombies were involved only for his wife to be attacked and bitten by the zombies. After being forced to kill her, he begins the search for his son. He meets up with other people and he eventually discovers the source of the outbreak.

Mixed in with the story is beautiful animation showing past events for each character. The story is unique and original and could have made a fantastic movie if there weren't seven or eight chapters and it wasn't 114 minutes long. There are many, many, many flat, boring, walking-through-the-woods shots that add little or nothing to the story and end up slowing down the overall pace.

The cinematography was interesting, with lots of unusual and (some might say) pointless crane shots. The entire film was shot in Southern Ontario and was supposed to represent Tennessee or Virginia. Unfortunately, the distinctive Southern Ontario geology and flora do not appear in those southern states, so every time I saw something recognizably Canadian, I was taken out of the movie experience. There was also something just a bit "off" about the costuming. For example, the wife was wearing a hoop skirt in the bush. Just because the film was set in the 1870s doesn't mean that all - or even most - frontier women wore hoop skirts.

I don't recommend this movie. If it were edited to remove about one third of it and to reduce the number of chapters to, say, three, it would have potential. As it is, it's too long and unevenly paced to be enjoyable.

Father's Day
This was one of those low-budget, B-movie horrors about a serial killer (The Fuchman), who sodomizes and then brutally kills fathers, and the three people band together to kill him. There is a ton of gore in this movie and scenes that many men had difficulty watching. Seriously.

Because it is a campy movie, my expectations are low and they were met. The acting was ok but not great; the story was believable enough, and the direction, music, and cinematography were passable. The only problem I had with this movie is that it should have ended when The Fuchman was killed, as the quarter or third of the movie that happened after that was stupid, silly, and unnecessary, even for a B-movie.

I wouldn't watch this film again and I wouldn't recommend paying for it, but if you're ok with a LOT of gore in campy movies and don't mind if the movie takes a ridiculous turn, then you might enjoy watching this movie for free.


Saturday, October 22
Happily, the event organizer forwarded my email shortly after I'd sent it to several event manager people and asked them to investigate the sound problem. They were able to change things so that the sound was more balanced and less loud. Although I'd brought earplugs, I didn't need to wear them most of the time. Ian did wear his occasionally during Redline and some other movies. I was thrilled that they'd taken my email seriously and that they were able to adjust the sound and speakers to solve the problem. I'm impressed at how quickly they responded to the problem.

Shorts After Dark
I missed this one as I was driving to and from Kitchener to pick up Ian.

Redline
I loved this hand-animated Japanese film about an inter-galactic motor race. In it, people from different planets race against each other in different qualifying races, each with the goal of competing in the big race - the REDLINE. The prize is huge, the publicity is huger, and everyone involved wants to win. Of course there are a couple of subplots that make the race more complicated than it first appears.

The story is fairly simple and believable enough within the universe it creates to be enjoyable. It's a racing film and there's lots of racing with heart-pumping music and fantastic motion so the viewer feels present at these events. Everything, from the story to the animation to the music, works together in this film to create an experience that allows the viewer to immerse his- or herself into it.

Although this film was sub-titled, we wished that it was dubbed because the time taken to read the subtitles meant that we couldn't appreciate all of the animation. This is one film that we're gong to want to purchase so that we can re-watch it. I highly recommend it if you're at all interested in Japanese animation or racing.

Deadheads
No film festival would be complete without a buddy road-trip film, and this was that film. Our protagonist "wakes" from being dead to discover that the dead have risen and are eating people. He's not so hungry for human flesh and just wants to find his girlfriend. He teams up with another thinking, speaking, non-flesh-eating zombie, a "regular" zombie, and some guy to drive across the country. Along the way, they're chased by people who are trying to clean up the zombie outbreak.

The story, cinematography, editing, and music are well done and they all work together to create a fun road trip movie without too much gore involved. The worst thing about this movie is that some of the acting (or maybe it's the script for those characters?) is really bad. It would be better if all those characters were written and acted as well as all the other characters or if every single character was written and acted that badly. As it was, the pacing and feel of the movie changed every time those characters were on-screen.

If it weren't for those particular actors and actresses and their lines, this would be a truly hilarious movie that pretty much everyone who likes funny zombie movies would enjoy. As it is, it's a pretty good movie that most people will still enjoy and I do recommend it if you're looking for some laughs.

War of the Dead
This film about Allied soldiers battling Axis zombies created by Nazi experimentation is better than I expected it would be. Since the director in the introduction and Q&A made it clear that he'd just wanted to finish this film and that he didn't think it was that good, I wasn't expecting much.

I was surprised that most of the film was fairly solid. The sets, costumes, makeup, and music were all very well done and worked together to create a cohesive, creepy atmosphere. Most of the characters and their actions also made sense in the context of the film. The only places where the film fell short were some plot points and parts of the script that didn't flow so well. I didn't even think about most of those problems until I walked out.

I wouldn't see this film again but if you are interested in Nazis and zombies and don't mind some plot issues, this film is for you.


Sunday, October 23
Some Guy Who Kills People
We loved this film. In it, a man who has recently returned from a mental institution stalks and kills the people who tormented him and drove him crazy all while maintaining a relationship with his mom, his mom's boyfriend the town sheriff, and his newly-discovered daughter. This is one of my favourite films of the fest because it had drama, comedy, and a reasonable plot. The script was well-written and well-acted and the production was definitely high-quality. There isn't too much gore in this film and the killings are done off-camera, for the most part, making this film more accessible to a mainstream crowd. I highly recommend this one.

Love
I'd really looked forward to seeing this film and I wasn't disappointed. It follows an astronaut up in the international space station for the first time in decades who is abandoned there as everyone on earth dies. As he rambles around the station he finds a diary of a man sent from the civil war front to witness something unusual. The film opens with and returns to this traveler's adventure as the astronaut's story is being told.

There are pats of this film didn't like, such as the interviews with the people about connections and relationships. The film is about relationships and how important being connected to other people is to each of us and it shows this by providing the lonely counterpoint of the astronaut to the story. The interviews kind of "hit the viewer on the head" with the point of the film and it simply isn't necessary.

This small fault aside, I loved this film. There was really only the one main actor throughout and he was able to carry this film and keep it interesting. It helped that the film was beautifully made and scored and that the pacing and imagery and actor worked together to create a moving work of art that also happened to tell a great story. Most astonishing is that the film was made in the director's parent's ranch backyard and the director built all of the sets - including that amazing replica of the International Space Station (ISS) - himself over a couple of years using materials from home-building stores.

This film felt like a good independent film from a major director who was doing a side project for fun because it appears to have been professionally made with a huge budget. In fact, the director has done mostly shorts and it was made for almost no money. The main porthole on the ISS, for example, was a washing-machine door over a 42" screen showing the planet Earth.

Contributing to the professional look and feel of the film as well as its atmosphere was the haunting score by Angels & Airwaves. Some people were put off by the fact that Angels & Airwaves and this film are kind of side projects by Tom DeLonge of Blink-182 but there's no Blink 182 in any part of this film.

If you don't mind slow but not boring pacing and love beautiful imagery, great acting, and a compelling story that stays with you, this film is for you. I highly recommend it.

The Theatre Bizarre
I skipped the films this evening as I was very tired and I figured that I would be better off resting than staying out late watching the movies. Apparently this one was a bunch of shorts that worked together around a particular theme. While it sounded interesting, the trailers didn't compel me to stay and watch. If I hadn't been so tired I'd have watched it.

Midnight Son
I skipped this film, too. Again, if I wasn't so tired I'd have stayed to watch it. However, I was so tired and the subject of the film - a vampire comes to terms with his new life - wasn't all that interesting. In retrospect, I probably would have enjoyed this film although the rest did me some good.