Tuesday, November 22, 2011

2011 American Music Awards Red Carpet

It's been ages since I've done a red carpet post! I've been waiting for an event that had a red carpet that I could review and I finally found one: The American Music Awards, held Sunday, November 20. Short, tight, and shiny was definitely the order for the day which is a bit surprising since the day was chilly and threatening rain. 

As usual, I've only looked at the women on the red carpet and you can see them after the jump.

Taylor Swift in Reem Acra
She looks like she always does: young, fresh, and virginal. This dress emphasizes her wider baby-bearing hips. 

Alanis Morissette
She's just had a baby so we can't be too hard on her. The bodice is flattering. The mullet skirt is not, especially paired with the wide, high ankle straps. Plus the hair not in that straggly, droopy braid is a mess.

Mary J. Blige in Roberto Cavalli
I can barely even tell who's wearing this dress because this dress with its huge pattern and cool tones is wearing her. It's taking all of the attention away from her face (with its lovely makeup) and hair (in its stylish updo). 

Erica Dasher
Clearly she's a bit embarrassed at how short those shorts are because she's covering up her ladybits. Short skirts and shorts are the order of the day but that doesn't mean that they go with a jacket like that one or shoes like those. Love her lipstick, however.

Jane Levy in ASOS
The dress is lovely, if a bit close to her skintone. The bag adds some much-needed colour to this outfit but why she thought it would be ok to wear shoes the same colour as her hair, only duller, I don't know.

Christa B. Allen in Alice + Olivia
Short, tight, and shiny appeared to be the order of the day and with those shiny embellishments making the dress look super-tight, she filled that order perfectly.

Jennifer Morrison in Temperley London
This dress would be the perfect thing to wear to award ceremony for hippies. Sadly for her, the AMAs are not that kind of ceremony.

Sara Ramirez in Rachel Roy
This dress looks a bit matronly in comparison to all of the short and shiny worn at this event because it's long with long sleeves. However, it fits her beautifully and the colour and style are flattering. Shorter sleeves or some sparkle would have made this outfit perfect.

Sarah Drew
I didn't know she was pregnant at first; clearly she's one of those people that doesn't gain much extra weight along with the baby weight. I love the pleating at the neckline and above the belly because it gives space for her growing figure and because it's gorgeous. She looks radiant. 

Manika in Marco Marco, styled by Niki Schwan
Oh wow, is this hideous or what? She said that she loved the 80s and wanted to look like she belonged there. She succeeded with those shoulder pads, jumpsuit, poufy hair, belt, and earrings. 

Anne V. in Emilio Pucci
I love lace, I really do. But this red lace is a bit much; how can something so expensive look so cheap? And why didn't she accessorize it with jewelry or do something with her hair?

Katie Leclerc in Collette Dinnigan
Even without the sparkly pointer to her ladybits, this dress wouldn't work for her. The colour is so close to her skintone that she looks a bit sickly and the unembellished skirt makes her hips look super-wide. Maybe she was going for this look, although I can't imagine why.

Cheryl Hines in Lorena Sarbu
I don't love tight and shiny but this shapeless towel look is worse - and not just because this dress is wearing her. Her boobs are flattened to within an inch of their lives, she's lacking a waist, and the uneven skirt makes her look short and dumpy. And what is with those hideous shoes whose colour flatters neither the wearer nor the dress?

Ellie Goulding in Christopher Kane
Between her disappearing neck, the below-knee skirt, and the ankle straps on her shoes, there's something weirdly disproportionate about this look. Pulling her hair back and either shortening the skirt or wearing different shoes would be better. Of course the horizontal skin bands at the waist will always make her look thick around the middle, so maybe she should have just worn something different.

Amy Heidemann in Jac Langheim (top)
This is more of a costume than it is a dress. Even though the skirt is weird with the top and the shoes don't really go with the top and her hair is strange, the overall look is cute and saucy. Those shoes are great.

Mika Newton
There's something Snuggie-like about this dress with the poufy sleeve and heavy fabric. At least she'll be warm and her hands are free if she wants to eat or use the remote or something.

Lauren Bennett in Versace
She must have invisible warming superpowers because it's November and that dress is really thin. Maybe that's why her face looks so pale.

Sophia Grace Brownlee (L) and Grace Lee
Aren't these two lovely ladies adorable in their pink finery? I have no idea why they're wearing "Ellen" tshirts but they're cute with their poufy skirts, pink hoodies, and tiaras. People should wear tiaras more often.

Keltie Colleen in Opulence
It was threatening rain the day of this award show. With a bit of soap or body wash and that shower pouf skirt, she was ready in case it did rain.

Christina Grimmie
She's such a tiny little thing! The shiny towel dress is kind of cute and it fits her well enough. Like many others attending this event, she appears to no know how to finish an outfit with accessories and jewelry.

Bleona Qereti
There's short, tight, and shiny and then there's looking like a streetwalker. She can't bend over without showing off her ladybits on one end and having her boobs fall out on the other, putting her squarely into the "looking like a streetwalker" category. Perhaps the event organizers wanted to provide entertainment for some of the more distinguished guests? 

Renee Bargh in Shakuhachi
Most people wear lampshades on their heads, not as skirts. I think - well, hope - that most people who would wear a lampshade as a skirt would wear more attractive shoes.

Vanessa Lachey in Aje
Hint: nude-coloured shoes are supposed to match the colour of the wearer's skin. Also, when posing for pictures on a red carpet, one generally wants to pull their shoulders back instead of rolling them forward to hide one's boobs.

Audrina Parridge in Joey Tierney
Those are some stripper shoes! They go with the fake boobs trying to escape the otherwise lovely dress.

Sarah Hyland in Amen
It's a good thing those embellishments are there to create some shape because otherwise this patterened, shapeless towel would have no redeeming qualities.

Jenny McCarthy in Victoria Beckham
How ironic is it that the woman who got famous taking off her clothes for a living wears the most tasteful outfit to this event instead of showing off her assets with a too short, too tight dress like so many others. 

Heidi Klum in Giles
Could it be that she's finally given up wearing dresses that are tight, short, and shiny? While I love the idea of this dress  with its laser cutouts, it doesn't fit her properly - see the way it sags at the waist? - and we can clearly see her underwear. I think this dress might be even tackier than the short and tight dresses she used to wear.

Jennifer Hudson in Jenny Packham
The dress silhouette is lovely and the draping is very flattering. However, silver is not her colour; she looks positively ashy.

Katy Perry in Vivienne Westwood
Katy Perry never fails to entertain in her crazy outfits. I wonder if she wish she was blessed with smaller boobs because hers are always trying to escape her clothes.

Selena Gomez in Girogio Armani
She's positively regal in an old-Hollywood sort of way here. The colour, the silhouette, her hair, her shoes: everything combines to make her look like a luscious star who looks years older than her actual age.

Hillary Scott in Rani Zakhem
Among all the other short, tight, shiny dresses, this dress is a little formal. It's a good thing that her hair is all messy or someone might think she crashed this party.

Julie Bowen in Manish Arora
She's so lucky to be tall enough and thin enough to wear horizontal stripes. I think this dress might look even better if it wasn't quite so sparkly but it works for her.

Phoebe Price in Christophe Guillarmé
I'm completely in love with this dress. The embellishment lines are interesting and flattering and the dress shape is sexy without being sleazy. The fur shrug and adorable fascinator finish this outfit

Estelle in Alberto Makali
Look, another sequinned towel! At least these nude shoes match her skintone so the viewer's focus is drawn to the dress.

Vanessa Marano in Couture by Eva Culture
I know that people aren't wearing hosiery these days but I think that this look would be so much better if her legs weren't so white. A very sheer black hose - sheerer than the lace she's wearing - would make this outfit look great. Of course, so would getting rid of those blue panels.

Laura Marano
Apparently she's Vanessa Marano's sister. At least the dress has sleeves so it isn't just a sequinned towel, but what's up with those heavy shoes?

Julia Kurbatova
Is it just me or does she look pregnant in this dress? It's possible that the embellishments have stiffened the fabric so much that it stands out from her body.

Suzanne DeLaurentiis
Oh, wow. Just - wow. From the flat hair to the barely-contained boobs to the mullet dress, this is just one dress piled on top of another.

Carly Steel in Bebe
Tights were the wrong choice with short flapper-style dress. Bare legs to go with her bare arms or very sheer hose if she was determined to wear hosiery would have been better. As it is, those tights just look weird.

Stuart Brazell in Bebe
It's one thing to wear a tight dress that's really just body-conscious; it's another to wear one that's a size or two too small like she's doing here. Sadly, neither that belt nor those dhoes do her any favouts.

Kimberly Perry in Botega Venetta
This dress could have been a contender for the best dress on this red carpet if her boobs weren't the first thing I noticed because the yellow underlayer shows most clearly there. Of course that messy hair, that orange purse, and those strappy shoes aren't helping the look; I guess I should give her credit for trying to finish her look even if the end result looks like this.

Tiera Madry (L) and Tiana Madry
These twins are wearing lovely, tasteful silver dresses that fit them well and have a flattering shape. If only the colour flattered them as much as the shape did, they'd be knockouts.

Chaka Khan
I wonder if she knows that there are ways of covering up that don't involve wearing floor-length jackets and turtlenecks? While this outfit makes her waist look tiny, the rest of it makes her look short and dumpy and I'm not sure that's what she's trying to do here. Of course maybe she likes looking like this even though it's not completely flattering.

Elle Fowler (L) in Bebe and Blair Fowler
Apparently they're self-proclaimed "Youtube beauty gurus" and others call them "fashion experts" and were hosting a pre-show for the event.  They've done a fine job of outfitting themselves for the event: even though they're both wearing short, tight, and shiny dresses, neither looks vulgar or cheap. Both dresses are flattering in style, shape, and colour and neither is a sequinned towel so I think it's safe to say that these are the best short, tight, and shiny dresses on this red carpet. Oh, and I do love the dress that Blair's wearing :)

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad
One thing I love about JLo is that she's not afraid to wear something form-fitting and to show off her figure. However, wearing a dress with a train is a bit much for the event especially given the prevalence of short and shiny dresses. The two laces don't really work together and create an odd frankenlace effect. 

Katherine Heigl in Roberto Cavalli
She looks proud and confident here and no wonder; she looks great in this dress. Well, except for her boobs, which look like they've been forced together. The bodice would actually look better if her boobs were completely under the fabric.

Nicki Minaj in Oscar de la Renta
This is some kind of tame for our Nicki Minaj! Normally she's wearing something crazy that might not fit all that well. This dress fits her (although it is a little tight on her boobs), the green is fantastic against her skin, and she's wearing the perfect choker and shoes.

Christina Aguilera in Herve Leger
Oh, Christina. Oh, honey. You're such a beautiful woman - you really are - no matter what size you are. Has no one ever told you that you'll look your best when you wear the right size? Something this tight and this small only emphasizes the little extra you're carrying. Please stop dressing the body you used to have and dress the beautiful body you have now.

Kelly Clarkson
Now this is how a woman dresses for the figure she has. Like Christina, Kelly is a bit bigger than she used to be but that doesn't make one bit of difference because she is beautiful at every size. She's also dressing for the body she has: the dress is form-fitting but fits and her boobs are well-supported and not trying to escape. She looks like a gorgeous, modern-day Jessica Rabbit. Kelly, could you please call Christina Aguilera and give her some pointers on dressing her body?





photo credits: zimbio.com, tomandlorenzo.com, dailymail.co.uk

1 comment:

The Hyperlexian Aspie said...

oooooh red carpet madness!!!! i died laughing, as always. thank you for this!

Kelly Clarkson looked just lovely in that dress.

Kimberly Perry in Botega Venetta... looks ghastly! those boobs...


for some reason i kind of love Manika in Marco Marco... i think i am still loving the 80s!

love,
vicki