The best laid plans...

All day I'd planned to talk about how the carpets got cleaned really well this morning and then about we decided to paint the kitchen, great room, and main bathroom; and how we chose and bought paint; and how we started prepping to paint the kitchen. I also planned to say something about how we wandered around our backyard looking at the trees and trying to figure out what they were and how to care for them. I might have also mentioned something about how we need to re-grade the lawn on that one side of the house.

But then during a break I logged into my young women's mets support group to discover that Amy Fisher died on the 12th of this month and I'm reeling from the shock She had been posting only three days prior to that about how she had her abdomen drained and she went for a yummy steak.

I didn't even know that she had died until today, and I feel guilty about that, like I should have known. I knew things were going bad - people getting their abdomens drained are usually not doing well - but I didn't know that she was about to die. I don't know if I'd have changed anything if I had talked to her before she died, except to tell her how much I loved and admired her.

I met Amy at one of our get-togethers and we hit it off well. She even brought yummy pie that I brought back... it was so thoughtful of her to have brought food and I loved her for it. She was so caring and loving and such a sweet, funny woman. She was honest about how she felt and wasn't afraid to speak up when needed. People respected what she had to say.

She was my partner, not just my friend, because she actually set up the support board that she, myself, and another person run. We'd been working together on this board for quite a while and she was always so level-headed and thoughtful.

I miss her already... there's a hole where she was. My heart goes out to her two daughters and her husband and to everyone else who knew and loved her. She was very strongly Christian and so I hope that she is heaven waiting for the rest of us.

Another woman on the board died yesterday. I didn't know her as well but she hasn't been doing well for a couple of weeks... still, it isn't fair that she died.

I'm so sad. I'm affected by the death of any member on the board but- the deaths of some friends leave me feeling absolutely bereft. Amy's death has struck me very hard and I expect to mourn her death while remembering her life for quite some time.

Fuck you, cancer. Stop killing my friends.