I had to go and buy a new toque because I lost my other one and it's too cold out to go without one. While I was shopping, a pair of shoes jumped onto my feet and begged to be bought. They were very cute and on sale and so I took them home with me. They're this pair. It's the butterflies that got me. And the fact that they're flat and cute. I am so weak.
I also played around with some of the fabrics and stuff that I have. Since I have a tv downstairs now, I can keep up with my shows and work on stuff there. Not that I'm watching anything exciting these days - during the day I watch various Star Trek shows. But at least I don't have to sit on the couch like a lump - I can sit downstairs and play with my fabrics and try to figure out how to make stuff.
Speaking of work, I mailed in my insurance forms yesterday. Sigh. They wanted copies of all my latest scans and reports, which was a bit of a pain to get together. I will be taking the physician forms to my family doctor next week. I have no idea when I'll go back to work. I'm not going back right now - I'm definitely staying on long-term disability for now.
I was thinking about work, and it occurred to me that no matter what job I do if I go back, people are going to expect me to be the same person I was when I left. I was very efficient and very good at my job; I was definitely the go-to person in that group. I'm not that person now. I can't do that kind of work any more, because it's too stressful. Being the best performer and the go-to person and the one who knows how to make stuff work means that I worked every night on my BlackBerry. Ian used to hate it, because I was always checking messages and working and working and working and working.
So if I ever go back then I can't be that hyper-efficient person I was - or at least, I can't do it outside of business hours. I don't know how hard it would be for people to accept the "new me" - the people who don't know me won't have any expectations, but the people with whom I worked closely (and who haven't left) might still think I was the person I used to be. That could suck a lot for me and for those other people. I'll stop thinking about this unless I actually go back - there's no point stressing myself out over something that might not even happen.