I had a dream last night that really stuck with me. I dreamt that I went to work even though I knew that I wasn't allowed to do that because of the long-term disability. I was very nervous and worried when I went in. When I got there, I didn't know anyone there. The office was completely different, too, although I was able to find my own desk. I sat down and tried to do work but I couldn't figure out what to do - I know I was trying to do some SQL queries that were in some wrapper scripts, and I just couldn't figure it out. I tried and tried and tried, but I couldn't make it work. Then I went to get a pop but I didn't have the right kind of money, they didn't have what I wanted, and I couldn't get back into the office because I forgot my passcard. I managed to sneak back in and go back to my desk, where it occurred to me that I should look at my email. I ended up leaving then; someone I used to work with at Levi's drove me home.
I don't know why this dream stuck with me more than others - I guess because it was about work and there was a lot of confusion and uncertainty. The feelings were very strong and very negative, Clearly I'm not ready to go back :) I hope that if I ever do go back, it isn't like that dream. It felt awful, working in my dream.
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