You know, things were starting to get better

I feel like I'm the mole in Whack-A-Mole. Every time my head pops up and things are going ok, I get whacked down again and things start to go badly. This summer has been particularly bad and it seems that things are not over.

I was able to see my dentist today.

Almost all of my teeth are mobile (or wiggly). I was shocked to find this out as I thought there were only three wiggly teeth. My dentist said that this could be caused by teeth grinding, but I've been grinding my teeth for my entire adult life and they've never been mobile before. And there's nothing in my chart that indicates that my teeth had been mobile before - this is definitely something that would have been noted. So the mobile teeth are new.

My chart also didn't show any crossed or turned teeth and my hygienist didn't see any evidence that my teeth were different the last time I saw her. My dentist looked and there's nothing that would clearly cause the pain and aching on the right side of my face.

So we did the panoramic xray again - it's the standard of care for someone on the kind of bisphosphonates I'm taking - as well as focal xrays of all my teeth and their roots. She then compared the xrays she took today with my older ones and showed me what she saw.

There are differences between the xrays. There are two areas that are dark that used to be light: one located just below my bottom center front teeth that have shifted and a larger one located below the lower molar that has tilted inward. Is it coincidence that the darker areas are under the teeth that have shifted? I don't know. Could it be?

My dentist is referring me to an oral surgeon which is what my oncologist said would most likely happen. I hope to get in to see that person soon - my dentist said that she would send the referral with the xrays today and that she would tell the surgeon that it was urgent.

I'm a little scared. These problems I'm having could be just trauma from the fall but it's also possible that the fall has started in the beginning of osteonecrosis of the jaw. I also found a link (figure 2) that showed how pain from something like this refers up the face to the places that, coincidentally enough, *my* face hurts. F*ck.

I can't figure out whether I'm in shock or whether I'm just learning to accept all the uncertainty that goes along with diagnostic processes. I did pamper myself after the appointment by taking it easy but I also ended up walking around in a daze for a while. And of course I swore a lot.

So this evening - to pamper myself? to try and make me feel better? - Ian and I signed up for a new gym in the building where Ian works. Since my gym has been bought out, I haven't been as happy with some things (the classes have changed, for example, as has the clientele). This gym has state-of-the-art equipment and the price for both of us, thanks to my corporate rate, is quite good. I'm hoping to work out there tomorrow sometime.