I have my medical oncology appointment tomorrow. I'm a little bit nervous. I've never met this doctor before - all I know is that everyone who knows her says that she's very nice. No one has said that she's very good, or very competent, or very thorough, or effective, or any of the other characteristics I might look for in a specialist. "Nice" is not something I care about in a specialist - my surgeon, for example, is not nice. But this "not niceness" is what makes him effective. So I'm hoping that this oncologist is not just nice, but also effective.
On the other hand, I care a bit more whether or not the nurse is nice. I can live with a not nice nurse, but one that's nice is, well, a bit better (provided we don't sacrifice effectiveness for niceness). I have talked to the nurse a couple of times. I had seen a temporary medical oncologist back in June, and the nurse that time told me to contact this nurse when I had questions. I haven't gotten a good vibe from this nurse - her voice has been impatient and "sigh-y" when she's talked to me. I've had the sense that she feels that she's wasting her time talking to me, and that she's only talking to me because she has to return all calls. And that she's not going to go out of her way to help me (unlike the radiation oncology nurse, who is very nice and very effective - she has definitely gone out of her way for me). I'm hoping that this is all because this nurse hasn't met me before, or that I've caught her on a couple of bad days, or that there's some political undertone that I'm not completely getting that's going on here.
So anyways, I'm going in with an open mind tomorrow, because it's entirely possible that there's something else going on that has nothing to do with me. I have a list of questions and areas for discussion I'd like to cover. Hopefully we'll have time to go over everything. I've waited so long to see this doctor that I'm worried that I'll wait a long time to see her again, and so I want to be sure that we've covered the ground immediately before us.