Thursday, April 28, 2011

The royal wedding and my mom

Tomorrow is the Royal Wedding and although I've managed to avoid all of the hype so far, I'm still going to watch it. I watched Charles and Diana's wedding and my mom also woke me for Princess Anne's wedding in 1973. I don't remember that latter wedding at all, really; I just remember my mom waking me up for it. I suspect that if I were to watch the wedding I'd remember pieces of it.

I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. Partly because of Easter, partly because of the royal weddings (the memories of them are tied together with my mom), and partly because of the upcoming Mother's Day, and partly because I just miss her.

I admit it - I do miss her. In her suicide note to us, she said that her death wouldn't affect our daily lives and at first I thought that this was sort of true but it turns out that it's false. I miss her so much that I'm sad more often than I used to be. I miss talking about things like the election and the wedding with her and I miss that I can't share the house or the garden with her.

There's nothing that can be done about this except live with it and let time heal those wounds and make new memories without her.


manchester fat acceptance said...
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manchester fat acceptance said...

i understand your sadness, and i feel it too. it hits me at the oddest times.


Robin said...

I echo Vicki on hits me at the strangest times. About the most mundane things too, like the garden, the weather or a new recipe I found :(