Thursday, April 21, 2011

Easter's on its way

Easter is practically here! Maybe the Easter bunny will pay us a visit, bringing us yummy treats.

Normally I just enjoy Easter but this year is different, I guess because my mom isn't here. For some reason, I've been thinking a lot of my mom today. I've been remembering those Easters that my mom would write poems that were clues to the location of the treats. Between these and other memories I've been feeling melancholy and sad most of the day.

Adding to my sadness, my maternal grandmother died on Good Friday - it was a different date than this year, of course, but it was still the same holiday. Most years this doesn't bother me too much, because it was so long ago, but it seems that my mom's death has brought my grandmother's (and my dad's) to my mind.

I'm still looking forward to the Easter celebrations this weekend but if I wouldn't be surprised if I feel this way for most of the weekend.. or for other upcoming holidays. This grief thing catches me by surprise each time although it makes sense that it shows up when it does. Major holidays, when people are spending time with their families, will of course remind me of my family - and that it's missing my mom.

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