Tomorrow I get the bone scan results and I should find out whether or not this cancer is ER/PR positive or not. If it's ER/PR positive, then it is a recurrence as it'll be the same as last time... and it means that the cancer grows because, well, I'm female and have female hormones.
I'm a bit nervous about the appointment, of course. I know that the outcome of the results is already determined and that no amount of worrying will change that outcome. Funnily enough, I don't think that I'm that worried about the actual outcome - I think that I'm more worried about what will happen after I get the results. I guess I haven't completely let go of the fact that I can't control what the doctors are going to do - and that they probably aren't going to do things as quickly as I'd like them to.
For example, if the cancer has spread to the bone, will I see the medical oncologist before August 15 (which is my first scheduled appointment with that doctor)? I don't really want to wait another month to get started on the next stage of treatment. If the cancer hasn't spread, will the radiation oncologist (who I see tomorrow) do the referral for the mastectomy before the ultrasound results are in? Chances are good that if the cancer isn't in the bone, it's also not in the liver (especially since I have no symptoms of liver metastasis), so in theory we should be ok proceeding with preparations for the mastectomy.
As much as having time off is fun, I'd like to be able to get back to work... I feel like I've been off for so long already while I do a whole lot of waiting. Some might say that I'm impatient :)