Maybe I'm not as ... not worried... as I thought

My oncologist has scheduled a brain CT scan for Tuesday at 3pm and a follow-up appointment with her Thursday at noon.. I guess we're doing a CT scan because we did one after I fell last summer, and she'll have something to compare. She'd said at that time that she thought there were differences between the right and left sides but those differences weren't mentioned on the report.

So we'll see what happens. I thought I was handling everything ok and then I realized this morning that I had forgotten to call my niece on her 15th birthday. I'm not great about calling people but I've been trying to do better this year. I'll call her tonight but it won't be exactly the same, and I'm sorry about that.

I think it's best if I revise my expectations from being not worried or tense to being nervous about it... even though the outcome is most likely normal, and even though the outcome has already been determined - if there are brain mets there, they're already there and no amount of hope or worry will change that - I'm likely going to be a bit tense for the next week.