I'm happy to report that fewer women are wearing strapless dresses and more are wearing dresses with straps and even sleeves. I rather like seeing people a little more covered up than usual because I'm a bit tired of seeing a lot of skin.
Have no fear that everyone was dressed perfectly appropriately as there were many women who were showing off way too much boob. There were also quite a few who made questionable dress and hair choices.
See for yourself what women wore to the Emmys after the jump. Enjoy!
|Jane Lynch in David Meister
Outfit #1: The red carpet dress. It's a great colour for her, although the solid purple colour makes her look a bit like a very tall grape.
|Jane Lynch in David Meister
Outfit #2: The opening dress. This is much better as it has shape on the bodice and flatters her shoulders. Unfortunately, it's like she's hiked the skirt up as high as it will go - which is just under her boobs.
|Jane Lynch in David Meister
Outfit #3: Definitely the best look of the night, even with those sad armpit boobs. The colour, neckline, bodice, and pleated skirt suit her perfectly.
|Jane Lynch in David Meister
Outfit #4: Funny how the exact same skirt can look fantastic with one bodice and not fantastic with another. She's looking a bit triangular here which doesn't just make her look taller but makes her head look tiny.
|Kelly Osbourne in J. Mendel
I thought this was black but it's burgundy. Not that the colour matters because she looks fantastic. Everything from her hair to the straps to the fit to the shape is perfect.
|Maria Menounos in Emanuel Ungaro
I love everything about this dress except the jewel neckline. The shape and fit are nothing short of spectacular and the colour is perfect for her.
|Giuliana Rancic in Roberto Cavalli
Apparently she's having a hard time getting pregnant so I don't quite know why she's wearing a dress that makes her look like she's got a bun in the oven.
|Nina Dobrev in Donna Karan
Even though it looks like a bunch of napkins were atttached to the skirt, I like this dress. It fits her and it's interesting. This is one of the better choices.
|Loretta Devine in Deanzign Couture
While the colour is a little drab and her boobs are strangely misshapen, this dress is lovely on her. I love the draping on the sleeve as well as the neckline and empire band.
|Lara Spencer in Carmen Marc Valvo Couture
I love love love love this fabric and I wish that the swirls had been put in more flattering places. Still, I'm so busy looking at the fabric that I can barely see how thick her waist looks.
|Jayma Mays in Zuhair Murad
Oh look, it's a life-sized cake topper. Sure, it fits, but the colour washes her out and the whole thing looks just a bit too precious.
|Taraji P. Henson in Blumarine
She must not own any mirrors because if she's looked at herself in this ill-fitting, sheer "dress" i'm sure she would never have left the house.
|Cat Deeley in Monique Lhullier
While I don't love this dress, it isn't that bad. The colour doesn't wash her out, the dress fits her, and she looks fine. She's gorgeous and could look fantastic so why she settled for fine I have no idea.
|Aubrey Plaza in Juan Carlos Obando
At least this white dress doesn't look at all bridal. I like its simplicity although a little bit of embellishment or a unique accessory or two would have helped.
|Rachael Harris in Nicole Miller
The bodice of the dress looks like it's fighting to fall to the ground. At least she's wearing the glasses so that our eyes are drawn to her face and away from the bodice.
|Bonnie Bentley in BCBGMAXAZRIA
Was this event held near a beach? I only ask because why else would someone wear a beach coverup to a red carpet event?
|Maria Bello in Kaufmanfranco
Even though there are certain toga-like qualities to this dress, I like it. It's sparkly, it fits her, and it's flattering. If only her hair was a bit more polished it would be a lovely overall look.
|Connie Britton in Maria Lucia Hohan
The "shredded-paper" skirt is kind of interesting, isn't it? Without it this dress wouldn't be anything special but with it, this dress at least has something unusual about it.
|Julie Bowen in Oscar de la Renta
Wearing a print on the red carpet can be tricky because some prints look a little too casual. Fortunately, this print is classy and elegant, as is the dress silhouette.
|Kelly Macdonald in Stella McCartney
It's like she thought it was winter. And that she wasn't going to the Emmys but a memorial service for someone she barely knew and she wanted to look successful and luxurious.
|Olivia Munn in Carolina Hererra
Where did that belly come from, and why is she showing it off instead of hiding it? Was she tired of looking like a skinny model?
|Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang
She looks hot and not at all tacky or trashy - well done! I hope she continues to dress this way and doesn't go back to the Carolina Herrera dresses that made her look like an aging cougar on the prowl.
|Sarah Hyland in Christian Siriano
Is the belt (which is lovely) too tight? Her hips come out right under the belt in a not-so-attractive way. Also, why is she wearing a bump-it in her hair?
|Evan Rachel Wood in Elie Saab
I hope those padded shoulders are not an indication that overly-padded shoulders are on their way back. I understand that the shoulders are the focal point but this dress would be lovely without the extra padding.
|Melissa McCarthy in her own design sewn by Daniella Pearl
I love that she designed her own dress because it's perfect for her. It's flattering, fits her perfectly, and draws attention to all the right places.
|Katie Holmes in Calvin Klein
This is the kind of dress to wear if you've got narrow hips and want to make them look wider. It doesn't work quite so well with normal or wide hips like she's got.
|Lena Headey in Alessandra Rich
I wonder if she knows that even though she's covered up, we can see that her boobs are too low? Is there no one to tell her that she needs a better bra?
I wish I knew who made this dress because it's perfect for her. The ruching lines create interest, the silhouette is sexy, and the colour is gorgeous against her skin and hair.
|Jenna Ushkowitz in Ghadah Paris
This kind of crumb-catcher or stiff napkin might be useful if she was going out to dinner and wanted to surreptitiously bring food home. I don't think that's what happens at the Emmys.
|Rachel Taylor in Giorgio Armani
There's something missing here because it looks like she's wearing a long, sequinned, fringed towel. I think she probably has a nice figure but you wouldn't know it here.
Apparently she's Jewish and deliberated wanted to wear a suitably modest dress. This is a lovely dress even though (or maybe because?) it's modest. It fits her perfectly and she wears it well. It would have looked even better if the dress wasn't black because the colour is too harsh for her. Had the dress been blue or green it would have been a knockout.
She wanted Michael Kors to design her dress for the Emmys but I don't think she succeeded because he usually designs more structured outfits. The only thing I don't like about this outfit is the neckline, shoulder, and bust areas which are shapeless and droopy. The last thing an older woman who's already fighting gravity needs to wear is something that emphasizes gravity's effects.
|Anna Torv in Vera Wang
What was she thinking, wearing a black mullet mermaid dress? The vintage-inspired bodice is gorgeous but the skirt is much too heavy and mullety to work with the bodice.
While the pleating on the bodice is intresting and colour is lovely, this strapless silhouette looks a little plain (as does her hair).
It sort of looks like she took a length of fabric and pinned it shut hoping that no one would notice. We notice.
|Melissa Rauch in Lela Rose
The fabric is gorgeous! It's lightweight and layered and it's used in an interesting way. The bodice with the sleeve is very flattering on her as is the rest of the dress. And look - she did something nice with her hair!
What a lovely colour on her! A slightly slimmer skirt would be a bit more flattering but it's still lovely on her. I especially like the different textures on the bodice and skirt.
I'm not a fan of orange but it looks nice on her. I think she's a little over-accessorized with the necklace, bag, and hair. It's a flattering silhouette for her, however.
|Gail Simmons in J. Mendel
Purple is her favourite colour, apparently, and that's good because she looks great in purple. I wonder who attacked her and left those slashes on her dress; if it were me, I'd have changed before walking the red carpet.
I do love saris! This one is beautiful and I love the colour on her. I sort of wish that more women wore saris because they're so elegant.
|Kate Linder in Kathryn Hynes, inc.
Who brings a fur wrap to the Emmys? The same woman who's daring her boobs to fall out of her dress, that's who. I figure that she wandered in from some streetwalker convention.
I would like this dress more if the skirt and bodice had the same colouration. She looks naked under the bodice but the skirt is so much blacker.
|Mayra Veronica in Dolce & Gabbana
Who is boobsy-mcboobs-alot when she's not at the Emmys? I guess we can all be thankful that she's only showing off her boobs and not anything else.
What a gorgeous dress on her! The colour is amazing and the fit is fantastic. The best part of this outfit is that beautiful smile she's wearing.
|Phyllis Smith (with guest)
Just because a woman is older and a bit larger doesn't mean that she has to dress in shapeless clothes. Black is slimming but not when it's a rectangle of black like this.
|Roma Downey (with guest)
She's married to Mark Burnett so I hope that's him kissing her forehead. I'm surprised that she would wear something this unflattering. Look at how saggy her boobs are - that's practically a crime.
|Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen
The bodice is gorgeous with the cowl, halter, and gold bands. She's done a fine job of accessorizing her dress. And her hair is gorgeous.
|Zooey Deschanel in Monique Lhullier Resort
This dress doesn't look unusual enough to be something she'd wear. Normally she goes for slightly "out there" looks but this fits and looks nice on her. Maybe this is Zooey Deschanel's normal twin.
photo credits: zimbio.com, instyle.com