Sleepy, sad day

I was one tired puppy today. Yesterday was emotionally exhausting for me and I'm still feeling emotionally fragile.

I did contact the company who contacted the insurance company and a severance package payout is not considered income so I'll be able to keep it all. It won't be that much but it's better than the nothing which I was expecting. I could use the money to buy ourselves a nice couch or two for our new house whenever we get that.

Yesterday I was also given the name and email of someone at RIM who works with the insurance company; I have the option of buying my benefits coverage from the insurance company at some reduced rate. The person I talked to yesterday said that she couldn't tell me what that rate was (it's confidential). If the rate isn't too high than we would definitely purchase the extra coverage.

Tonight the head person at Ian's work threw a big party because some big-shot at the company is receiving an honorary PhD this week. And someone else got some kind of award. They brought in some circus people to do tricks and stuff and fed us while we mingled. Sadly, it wasn't that warm outside; a thunderstorm had just come through, the grass was wet, and there was a very cold wind blowing. It was fun seeing the people from Ian's office; I haven't seen them since the Christmas party a few months ago.

Tomorrow my plan is to do nothing at all to just rest and get used to things. feel like I need the time. Ian doesn't really get why I'm so upset about the work thing, and intellectually I know that there's no real reason to be as upset as I am. It's just that I'm having trouble transitioning to being unemployed and it also sounds like the team is doing exactly what I though it to be doing way back when I was there. If I had just become unemployed or the team was changing I'd have an easier time of it, but both things together are really hard for me to deal with. I really wish I could be with the team going through these changes, you know? But I can't - I can't work, and in fact I'm unemployed.

So for the next little while, I feel like I need to lick my wounds and take care of myself. If this means that I wallow in self-pity for a little while, so be it. I just need the time to get used to this new situation.