I'm feeling a little antsy, like it's time for me to make or create something. My last project was the dress I made for the holiday party last month and that was quite a while back. So I'm thinking that it's time to turn my attention to another project.
I'm not quite sure what I want to do, however. Part of me wants to knit, because I want to make a hat or two... but I'm a little nervous about hurting my wrist. My wrist has been achy lately although it's better now. Part of me wants to do some sewing, but if I do that, what would I saw? And yet another part of me wants to play with some wire things and maybe making some jewellery - something I haven't done in a while. I'm feeling really indecisive; I just don't know what to do.
I think this is more than just being indecisive. I've been tired and weary for a while now because last year was so difficult. So there's a huge part of me that really does just want to sit around and watch tv all day while surfing the net. That part sits on my shoulder like a little devil whenever I think about doing something else, whispering into my ear, "but it's easy to sit... making a decision is so hard... you know you don't want to do anything hard.... so don't do anything". Which is all fine and good, because obviously sitting and doing nothing is more immediately satisfying than doing anything else, but at the end of the day I feel angry and guilty that I did nothing productive. Again.
That little voice speaks when I think about doing things like leaving the house to go for walks or to the grocery store. Of course I go out for appointments and stuff that I need to do, but I'm not doing as much outside the house that I used to. It's getting easier and easier to stay in the house while sitting on the couch, watching the tv and surfing the internet. I don't think this is all that healthy for me.
I'm going to have to find a way to quiet that voice. I know that there must be an angel voice there somewhere, counteracting the little devil voice. I'll need to take baby steps - commit to doing something for 10 or 15 minutes, say. This is a whole new year and I don't want it to slide by like last year did. I want to feel like I've accomplished something each day, even if that's just going for a walk or something.