I got to see some friends this evening that I hadn't seen in a while. Well, I'd seen one of them recently but the other one has been crazy busy lately. It was good to catch up over dessert.
I got home to Ian working on my bike. The chain was rubbing on the back deraullier in most gears and he was working on fixing it. Unfortunately, one of the critical bolts was stripped and another one had clearly snapped some time before. I know that he'd wished that it could have been fixed up today, but we'll have to take it in. I've no idea how those bolts could have been messed up in the first place, although I did buy the bike from a guy who was closing his shop in a few months. Maybe he'd stopped caring at that point. I did get a good four summers out of it, though.
I'm still finding myself missing Lotus. My grief is getting all mixed up between Lotus and my dad; I guess my body just feels grief as a rock in my stomach and my head assigns it to whichever being I'm thinking about. Sometimes it's Lotus, sometimes my Dad, and sometimes my other friends that have died. I have been kind of staying away from one of my lists because too many people I know are dying.
Ugh, my head and my body and my heart and my brain are all completely disconnected too.
What did you have for dessert? Perhaps that will help fill the hole, at least temporarily.
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