Finished a drum bag

I finished the drum bag prototype for the bellydance studio today. I'd been meaning to do it but then wanted to sew only for me. Over the last few weeks I've had some ideas in my head and I was finally able to get it done. It's made of black quilted cotton broadcloth with piping and straps.

The bag is smaller at the bottom than the top, to accommodate the shape of the drum. For my first pattern, I just took the extra off at one end of each side of a rectangle to form a trapezoid... but then I realized that this wouldn't work because the seams wouldn't meet at right angles. The way to draft the pattern is to start with a big rectangle and then fold small, evenly-spaced darts out of one side to make an arch-shaped piece. This was perfect.

Then I realized that I'd included too much ease and had to trim it down a bit. Fortunately that wasn't too hard. I'm quite pleased with the bag, overall; I've serged and top-stitched my seams for strength and attractiveness. And now that I know how to make the bag, it would only take a couple of hours at most to make another one.

Hopefully it will be the right size and design and the studio will like them. If I were to sell ones like this myself, I'd probably sell it for $25. If the studio wants to sell them, I'll sell them for less (bulk orders get a discount, of course :)

Happy Birthday to Me

Yep, it's my birthday, and I'm not even afraid to tell you that I'm 39 today. I had received a lot of birthday wishes by the time I checked my email and facebook and I was quite touched and pleased by that. Thanks, everyone :)

My birthday is a good time for me to think about where I'm going and where I've been, and that process will take a few weeks. Today I kept thinking about my childhood, in no small part because my mom sent my sisters and I The Hobbit, a movie that we watched over and over and over again when I was growing up.

Of course a lot of the memories I had were related to my dad, which is no real surprise. For all that I received a lot of birthday wishes, I didn't get one from my dad, and that's a little sad. And he would have talked to me when my mom called, of course. Still, this thought didn't send me crying and crying, but today it left me feeling sad with a hint of bittersweetness.

Even so, today was a good birthday; I got up late, worked on stuff, and went out for a nice dinner with Ian. A quiet birthday is what I wanted :)

Sewing and more Rock Band

I managed to sew most of the day. I'd done this dress before and I changed the back so there were a few little oddities in the front. I changed those and I'm re-making the dress in a different fabric. I probably could have finished the dress if I hadn't got tired; also, I was sewing mostly black and it's hard to see as it gets dark (and rainy) out.

Once I got tired of sewing, Ian and I played some Rock Band. Yep, we're still playing, out on our "tour". I'm not a bad vocalist, although I can't sing. My pitch is definitely getting better, though, and there are certain songs that I can easily sing: almost anything by Oasis, Ballroom Blitz (who knew?), and even some Metallica songs. This is some fun for both Ian and me :)

Shopping, bellydancing, and Rock Band

I went to the new Fabricland in Stratford with a friend of mine - I haven't seen her in ages and was very glad to have seen her today. The Fabricland is bigger than the one I go to in Mississauga - in fact, it's about the same size as the Fabricland I used to go to that closed down in one of the malls. I did buy some fabric at 50% off and I'll be able to head there this next week if I want any Vogue patterns for $5.99 (which I probably will).

Even with all that shopping and chatting, I made it to bellydance to practice the choreography for the recitals April 6 and May 11. After that we did two hours of rather intense bellydance heart/chest movements.

I don't know if you knew, but people here were asked to turn their lights off/down for Earth hour between 8 and 9pm. Our sacrifice was to lay Rock Band in the dark with no lights or unnecessary machinery running. Lots of people around us turned their lights down, which was cool. And an even of Rock Band is always fun after a long shopping and bellydancing day.

So much for good intentions

I'd meant to go to my Spirituality and Healing group but when Ian called around lunchtime, I mumbled something along the lines of "I'm too sleepy" and so didn't go. When the phone rang again and it was Ian, I was surprised that he was calling back so quickly. He said he was on his way home for curling and when I asked what time it was, he said that it was five minutes to 6pm. Oh. I guess I won't be curling tonight, either.

I'd planned to sew a bit but I've only been awake about three hours and doubt that I'll do any sewing. I did talk to a good friend of mine, which was fantastic (I've missed her a lot) and I watched some tv but that was it. I guess that's enough.

The reason I slept that long - around 18 or 19 hours altogether - was because of the Pamidronate infusion. I feel a lot better now and think tomorrow will be normal, but it is also normal that the Pamidronate causes some tiredness. Anything that causes tiredness seems to knock me right out for a while.

On the bright side, I got my birthday present from my mom - two books on advanced sewing techniques!!!!! As soon as they arrived yesterday I sat down and skimmed through both, cover to cover. I can't wait to use the techniques in the books :)

Pamidronate infusion

Getting the blood drawn and the Pamidronate infused was a LOT easier with the port. It was a little tender when they accessed and de-accessed the port but otherwise it didn't hurt. It's kind of cool because once it's accessed because there's a tiny needle in the port and then at right angles there's a tube about 1/8" thick. At the end of the tube is a thingy that they can use to screw in other things. They stuck a needle in the end to draw blood and give the saline and then the heparin flush.

The Pamidronate was screwed into the tube. The Pamidronate is in a balloon in a bottle and the vacuum suction draws the fluid out of the balloon. When the balloon hits the tube, the Pamidronate infusion is over. The nurse has saline and Heparin syringes with screwy-inny things that go into line; they use that to flush the Pamidronate through the port and then to prevent clotting.

The Pamidronate infusion does make me very sleepy and I'm a bit woogly today. I left my Fentanyl patch on for too long and it ran out last night so I started getting withdrawl symptoms today. Sigh. I'm also not very hungry today and I'm still tired. I hope that tomorrow is better.

Where did the snow come from?

I finished the dress in plenty of time (and I think it looks awesome, even though I know it isn't perfect) but the weather turned against us. Snow started falling around 3pm or so and by 5:30 we had almost three inches of heavy, wet snow. The roads were slick and we decided that we shouldn't risk ourselves by driving to Stratford. We will have to remember Kevin in our own ways instead as we can't make it to the funeral tomorrow.

I was looking forward to seeing the team, even though the circumstances suck, but that will have to wait. I hope to see one or more people this weekend; that Fabricland is having a 50% off sale for members. I have a membership for Mississauga and I hope that it can be transferred to Stratford.

Tomorrow I have my Pamidronate infusion and if all goes well, they'll be using my port for the first time. It's really healed well, except for one end where the stitch came up. It hasn't dissolved yet so they'll have to take it off tomorrow. It's going to be a long day, as I arrive at 12:40pm for bloodwork and then I have the infusion starting at 2:45pm. If it started earlier, I might make it to bellydance, but there's no way that I'll make it there in time. I hope the infusion goes well tomorrow.

So I'm making a dress

I don't know how much I have to wear that would be appropriate for the visitation tomorrow, so I'm making a simple dress to wear. I have to shorten and hem the sleeves, hem the bottom, and make the belt, but I think I can do all of that tomorrow.

The front, back, and raglan sleeves of the dress are gathered into a scoop neck band. I'm using that black cotton/silk voile over a black satin fabric for the dress and the satin for the neck band and belt. The voile is cut on the bias and I made its gathers bigger so that they'll fall away from the lining and I think it looks good. It definitely needs a belt because it doesn't have a lot of shape to it.

I hope that it works out tomorrow because if it doesn't I'll have to figure out something to wear. I'm pretty sure that I have an appropriate black skirt and jacket but I don't know if I have a top that isn't too casual. I think the dress looks ok but until it's all done, I won't really know whether it looks good. It may be that my changes don't look right, or that my lunch tomorrow doesn't leave me with enough time to finish the dress. I'll know tomorrow :)

Not another one

I thought I said that I was tired of people dying? One of the fellows that paddled with the Silvermasters dragonboat team died today. He had chest pains this morning and died of a massive heart attack as he got to the hospital. He was quite young, in his fifties. I don't need to tell you that this sent a shiver down my back.

This man was very involved in the dragonboating community as well as the city in which he lived. Everyone knew him and although he would say that he didn't like people, he always treated everyone with respect and dignity. He wrote long, eloquent emails to thank people or wish them well and was liked by most. His death will leave a gigantic hole in the community. We will be going to one of the visitations on Tuesday.

Rest in peace, Kevin. You will be sorely missed by your wife and kids as well as everyone that knew you.

Mid-Easter weekend

I bought more fabric at Fabricland today. I also got myself a membership there because I shop at that one so often. Ian saw the total price and asked me if that was my spring/summer clothing budget. Ummm, yes. :) We also got some fabric and notions to make drum bags; it looks like the raw materials are about $13 per bag. I'd hoped the bag would be about $20-25, so that'll probably work out perfectly.

I had a huge cry the other night, when my test results came back good. I couldn't stop thinking about how he would have been so happy for me and how relieved he would have been. The thought that my dad isn't going to be feeling anything - that I can't go to him with questions or when I'm worried - made me so sad. :(

Feeling better

I went to my Spirituality and Healing group today and I'm very glad that I did. The person who'd been taking notes during sharing wasn't there and I was very comfortable in the group. I felt fully supported and embraced by everyone, which was a nice feeling. I'll be going more regularly now, I think. I've missed this group.

I also managed to curl today - yay! I was worried that my new port would give me problems but aside from having to sweep on one side only, I felt fine. The port area is healing up nicely, too :)

My doctor's office has called my oncologist to see if she can set up a biopsy of the thickened scar tissue quickly. Since my surgeon is out of town it sort of makes sense to try and do this through the cancer center. I don't know how quickly they'll get around to scheduling it but that's ok. I see my oncologist in three weeks anyways so if nothing is scheduled beforehand I can talk to her then.

Results are in

As you probably remember, my surgeon did a fine-needle biopsy of a thickening that he found on my latest lumpectomy scar about 10 days ago. The results are in and the sample that my surgeon took showed ductal cells but nothing abnormal. However, because of my history, the report recommends a repeat test. My family doctor is thinking about the best way to get a new test done quickly since my surgeon is on vacation until mid-April; I imagine that we wouldn't do a fine-needle biopsy like my surgeon but will do an ultrasound or core-needle biopsy or something like that.

So so far, there's nothing there. That's good news, for now :)

Not at my best today

I felt awful when I woke up; I had a terrible headache and I was nauseous. I think I was migrainy so instead of doing anything productive, I laid down and watched tv. Later on I felt better and did a bit of pattern preparation. I'm going to sew a top out of some striped fabric I bought ages ago - the fabric is primarily pink, yellow, and white and I think it'll be cute.

Tomorrow I need to call my doctor to find out the results from the fine-needle biopsy that my surgeon took 10 a week and a half ago. I very much hope that I don't have more cancer in my breast. I'm a little nervous about making the call tomorrow, of course, but at the same time I'd rather know what's going on. Knowing means that I can deal with it.

My incisions are healing well. There are welts from the bandagey-things that they put on that seem to be everywhere. I can also see new welts forming under the clear dressing I've currently got on the big incision. At least the bruising seems to be going down.

Awake all day

The nurse came by to change the dressings on the incisions. I can shower again! :) The incisions are healing very well. The catheter can be clearly seen on my neck when there's no dressing there - I sort of look like I'm on 'roids :) The reservoir incision is also healing well. There's a lot of bruising there and the area is quite tender. Apparently the steri-strip adhesive (that holds the incision together) didn't agree with me as there were welts under each one. Sigh. I hope that this incision heals better than all of the other cuts and incisions have healed before.

I also did some sewing today. I finished up a dress - it looks interesting although I wish it was a bit longer. It's sort of a trapeze style and is a couple of inches above the knee, which means that I can't put a belt on it to make it more shapely. If I use this pattern again (and I probably will) I'll have to make sure to lengthen it.

This evening Ian and I played Rock Band. I told you he got a PS3 console? Well, he also bought the game Rock Band, where each person can play one of the guitar, bass, vocals, and drums. I have trouble playing the guitar because my hands are so small. So I did some singing. This is about the only time anyone would encourage me to sing :) This game is a lot of fun and I'd recommend it... it also gives Ian and I something to do together when we don't want to watch tv.

I stayed home today

I decided not to go to the visitation for my friend today. I wanted to go and show my love for Pat which I would hope would provide some comfort for her husband Lee. But I wasn't really going for me to lay Pat to rest. Also, I slept all day and the port incision sites are quite tender - I can't put the passenger-side shoulder elt over them yet and it's too dangerous to drive 4 hours in total down the 401 if I can't wear the seatbelt properly.

The nurse is coming tomorrow to change the dressing for my incisions. I'm really looking forward to this as it would be nice if the dressings were smaller. It's weird because I can actually touch the catheter part on the outside of my neck and when I do poke at it, I can feel it in my neck. Both the nurse and Ian say that I'll get used to the catheter, like a person does with a watch. I don't know. Maybe once the tape is off and not pressing the catheter into my neck it'll be better.

Yesterday was also port-a-cath day

Yesterday wasn't the best day ever. Not only did my friend die, but I had to have my port-a-cath put in. If I'd had a choice, I would have postponed it for a day when I was feeling stronger.

The best part about yesterday was when I was telling the nurse about everything that was going on. She gave me a big hug and when we both had a few minutes, she came and talked to me. She'd been a palliative care nurse and so understood the emotions I was feeling. I am very grateful to her for taking the time to talk to me.

The port insertion isn't all that complicated; the two main steps are to put the catheter part into the jugular vein and to put the reservoir part into a "pocket" that they make under the skin. To do all this they give local freezing.

You may not know this, but local freezing and I do not get along. It hurts like crazy when it goes in and I usually need extra because I metabolize it strangely. So the anaesthetic portion of my adventure was pretty awful and filled with howls and screams. Some would say that I'm a big baby when it comes to local freezing pain, and those some would be right.

Things got better after that. I felt a lot of pressure and things felt weird but they got the port in without any problems. I had to spend four hours in the recovery area but that turned out ok, too. I had a big, big nap :)

I now have a gigantic bunch of padding and tape over the incisions and I'm not allowed to get that area wet, so no shower for me until at least Monday :( The area is fairly tender to the touch and is stiff when I wake up. I'm taking tylenol for the pain and stiffness; I figure there's no point taking Percocet if I don't need to. Home-care nurses are coming in on Monday and again later in the week to change the dressing and make sure things are ok.

I'm going to my bellydancing workshop, although I missed the class at noon because I slept in. My plan is to take it very easy. Tonight is the juggling festival show and I'll be going to that, too.

Tomorrow is my friend's visitation in Oshawa; the funeral is Monday starting at 11am but I can't make it to that because of the home-care nurse coming in. I hope to make it to the visitation tomorrow; Ian's offered to drive me but there are juggling people in town and it would be better if he could spend time with them.

My friend died

My heart is breaking. My friend Pat died last night at about 10pm. She was 42. It's a fact of life that if a person has breast cancer metastases, the mets will almost certainly be the cause of death for that person. Pat started out with bone mets in a lot of bones in June, 2005 and the mets progressed to her liver last year. She'd been on a downward trend for some months but I kept hoping that she would respond to treatment or that there would be some last-minute miracle that would keep her alive.

Pat was a wonderful woman, welcoming newbies to the bcmets mailing list and posting funny, irreverent messages there. Who could forget her love of chocolate, ice cream, and shopping... and her wandering eyebrows?!? :) She was a great peacekeeper and diffused many a hostile situation on the list. She always had words of comfort and listened to many, many people. She was very well-loved.

I'm grateful that I saw her before she died and that she was lucid the times I saw her. I loved her and will miss her very much.

A little shopping

So I chickened out of going to my spirituality and healing group today. What with everything, I just didn't want to go.

I ended up going to Fabricland and buying some patterns that were on sale. I looked at some fabrics but decided not to buy any - I have tons and don't need to buy any more. I didn't do any sewing or anything when I got home, though; I just watched tv.

Tomorrow morning I get my port inserted. I hope it goes well.

Support group fun

I went to my young women's support group today. There were only two other people there besides the facilitator because it's March break and all the kids are off school so the parents are busy. I didn't get as much out of it as I'd hoped; instead of it being a structured sharing circle it was more of a free-for-all and the other people were quite vocal. So I didn't say a lot. I did talk a bit about what's going on but that was it.

Tomorrow is the spirituality and healing group. Apparently the Tuesday and Thursday groups have been merged. As I think you know, I'm uncomfortable with people taking notes about what I'm saying during sharing circle. I'm concerned that the person who had been taking notes in another group (she was in the Tuesday group, not the Thursday one) will be at tomorrow's meeting and so I'm reluctant to go. I expect I'll go anyways, but I'm more nervous about it than I was before.

It's been a couple of days....

Sorry I haven't written anything in the last couple of days - I've gone to bed early both days and I've been too tired to write anything. I'm on my way to bed now but I'll give you something new to read :)

I saw my family doctor today and he said that if I had a new recurrence in the same breast, we would need to re-evaluate all of my treatments. Sigh. He also said that the reason I'm sleeping so much is that I'm taking so many painkillers, so we're going to start to increase the fentanyl patch and decrease the oxycontin to twice a day. Hopefully that'll keep the pain down without making me feel too tired.

My friend is still very ill and declining. Apparently her doctor has said that it's a matter of days now before she dies. I'm so sad. I want to visit her but I don't think I can really do that - and it occurred to me that I might be trying to help her in the hopes that the outcome will be different than my dad's was.... that she wouldn't die. But there's nothing I can do to help her and I can't use that to try and block the grief I feel about my dad. I'll email her husband so that he knows that he's not alone, but I can't give any more. This was a very hard realization to come to because I want to do everything I can for my friend and her family.

Tomorrow I have my young women's support group. I think I'm looking forward to that; it's hard to say. I've been spending most of my awake time down in my sewing room, playing with fabrics or sewing, and part of me would rather do that tomorrow night instead of going to a support group. However, I know that I'm in need of support so I'll go. When I get home tomorrow, if I'm not exhausted, I'm sewing. For sure :)

A snow day

I got to sew today! Well, first I slept in until mid-afternoon, and then I sewed. I'm just about finished the dress I'm making; it's a round neck with gathers all around. I had lengthed the sleeves because they were just puffy cap sleeves but they're too long, so I'll shorten them tomorrow. I'm also going to take the dress in a bit at the waist. The dress isn't quite a rectangle but it's close and the little bit of extra shaping at the waist will make it look even better.

Tomorrow I'll sew. Ian has finally bought himself a PS3 game console along with some games and is quite happy to spend all his time playing games :) That suits me fine because I want to sew.

I had wanted to visit my friend in hospital but the roads aren't going to be good enough tomorrow. I hope to go on Thursday this week, maybe. She is slowly deteriorating as her liver is not improving. They basically just have her on fluids and painkillers and she sleeps all the time. I don't know how long this stage lasts but it won't go on forever. When I found out that she was doing so poorly this afternoon I had a big cry - I'm not ready for her to die. She had a good word for almost everyone on the list and she gave the list joy and happiness. Her passing will leave a very big hole that won't be easily filled. I (and many others) will miss her terribly.

Saw my surgeon today

I see my surgeon every three months or so right now; in fact, I was supposed to see him on February 14 but what with my dad, I didn't make it to that appointment. He's going away next week and I was lucky to get in to see him before he left.

During the examination, he found a thickening in latest scar (the one from the last lumpectomy in May, 2006, where he removed the recurrence tumour). This thickening wasn't there the last time he saw me in November so he took a fine-needle aspiration sample of it and sent it off to the lab. He'll get the results in about 10 days, except of course he won't be there, so hopefully I'll get the results from my family doctor. The thickening could be nothing or it could be the cancer coming back in my breast.

This turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's (my) back. I'm still dealing with my dad's death, and my friend isn't doing well, and now there's a possibility that the cancer has come back in the same breast. Aaaaarghhhh! I started freaking out a bit. I know it's not the same as worrying that the cancer has showed up in some new organ, but it's worrisome enough as it is and I don't feel equipped to deal with this on top of everything everything.

So I did a little retail therapy. I went to Fabricland and bought lots of patterned stretch jersey and some 70% cotton/30% silk voile in both black and white and some other polka-dotted stretch satin fabric. I also bought some patterns that were on sale for $2/each. I did what I could to save money but I still spent a lot. Yes, I felt a bit better afterwards. I'd walked in a zombie and came out excited about the fabrics. After curling this evening, I washed the fabrics and I picked out a pattern and prepared it. I'm going to sew this weekend.

On Monday, I'm going to call my social worker. As well, my Spirituality and Healing group starts meeting again on Thursday and my Young Women's support group meets on Wednesday this week so I'll go to those. I feel like I need some help coping and as much as I love love love retail therapy, I don't have unlimited funds.

Happy birthday, Pere

My father would have been 65 years old today. I miss him so much. :(

A lazy bellydancing day

I went to bellydance today for the first time in a while. I discovered that I don't remember the choreography, but that's ok. There are classes on Saturdays that are doing this choreography and I can take some of those to make up for the ones that I missed.

I've been meaning to do some sewing but I haven't been able to figure out what it is that I want to sew. You know how that is? I spent the afternoon looking at my fabrics and trying to think of what to sew. Nothing is shouting out at me, though, so maybe I should leave it.... but I feel like sewing. I guess it's good that I have a project to work on :)

I've also been wasting time over at FreeRice. It's a vocabulary game where for each word you get right, 20 grains of rice are donated through the UN World Food Programme to help end hunger. So my time isn't exactly being wasted if it's for a good cause, right? :) I encourage those of you who haven't played this already to start... it's quite addictive.

Returning to normal

Yesterday I saw my friend in hospital. Mostly I just sat in the area reading magazines and sketched or dozed while she slept. It took quite a bit of driving to get there and I was quite tired when I got home. My friend seems to be doing a little bit better now - her colour is better and she's less swollen.

I ended up sleeping all day, which was a good thing. I have my port-a-cath insertion scheduled for next Friday the 14th. There's a bead show in Toronto that weekend and I'm not sure that I'll be able to go after the port is put in. I hope I can go - I really only want to look at certain things, but I can't see myself driving or anything. So I'll have to see.

The rest of this week marks a bit of a return to my "normal" schedule. Tomorrow I have bellydancing and then Thursday and Friday I'm curling.

Movie day

We saw Be Kind, Rewind today. It was hilarious! The premise - the video tapes all get erased - is kind of ridiculous, but if you can get past that, the re-enactments of each of the movies is really, really funny. Ian and I both howled through most of them. There is a sad undertone to the movie, though, and the ending is definitely not an everything-works-out-for-the-best ending. It's more of an everything-falls-apart-anyways ending. I liked that.

Ian accuses me of liking Jack Black. I don't know whether it's him that I like or his movies - the movies that he's in always look really, really funny to me. There's something about them that makes me giggle. Knowing that I can laugh at his movies is a good thing.

My friend improved slightly today. I'm going to go and see her tomorrow as I think the weather is supposed to be worse on Tuesday (provided I miss the morning rush hour, which I will). I intend to have a nap while I'm there :)

Visiting my friend

We went to see my friend today. Actually, we picked up another person from the list and took her, too :)

My friend has done better - she has mets to her liver and it's not working. I suspect that she feels that she is near the end of her journey. This makes me very sad and a little overwhelmed because, quite frankly, my dad's death is quite enough death or end of journey or whatever for now. At the same time, I have a very strong compulsion to reach out to my friend and her family.

I got to meet my friend's husband today so he knows that I'm not some crazy stalker woman :) If my friend is still in hospital this week, I'll make the trip out to sit with her for an afternoon while her husband works. I very much hope that she pulls through, though, and that she's back at home soon.

Almost normal

I woke up at 1pm and finally felt like a normal person. Yay! I guess that the Pamidronate in combination with everything else that's been going on knocked me out. I probably needed sleep anyways and my body made sure that I took it.

I didn't go curling today, though. I've gained weight and I need larger pants to wear at curling. As well, for all that I'm awake, I didn't want to do too much today. So I puttered around doing stuff instead.

My friend has been admitted to the hospital. I talked to her this evening and I plan to visit her this weekend if the roads are good. Ian thinks the roads will be fine tomorrow so we'll probably go then. I think it would do me and my friend some good if I saw her as she's having a hard time now.

This is like the flu

I slept a lot yesterday - in fact, I was asleep for most of the day and through the night. I fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up when Ian got home. I woke up as Ian was getting ready to leave for work this morning and went right back to sleep. I woke up again at 7pm and expect to be going to bed soon.

I guess this is the "flu-like" symptoms people can get after the first Pamidronate. My eyes hurt when I move them, I have a terrible headache, and my muscles are stiff. And I'm sleeping like a sick person. I hope that I feel better tomorrow because I'd like to go curling. Also, a friend of mine in Oshawa is not doing well and I might want to go there to see her. I'm worried that she's in dire straits because her liver seems to be failing.

My first Pamidronate injection

I had my first Pamidronate injection today. This isn't that much of a change in treatment; the Pamidronate replaces the clodronate that I was supposed to be taking before. The clodronate is a drug that's taken orally on an empty stomach twice a day and the Pamidronate is given by IV once a month. I wasn't able to take the clodronate properly because I wasn't always awake enough hours, so it wasn't doing me as much good as it should have. At least I'll have protection from the Pamidronate.

I re-discovered that I have terrible veins during the bloodwork and injection process today. I knew that my veins were bad, but they seemed to be worse than I remembered. During bloodwork, the nurse got a vein in my hand but it hurt - as all the veins in my hands do - so she took it out. There were no other good veins in my hand and she asked for warm blankets to be sent, which would have delayed the test results. The nurse ended up going in to the same vein.

Later on, when the nurse was setting up the line for the Pamidronate, the first injection in my forearm didn't work as she went through the vein and the saline built up beneath my skin. So she took that out and had to find another vein. It seems that I'm retaining water, which is making veins hard to find, but she finally was able to get the IV started. The IV is weird; it's a needle that's used to put a tube into the vein, and then the needle is removed. The tube remains and the Pamidronate is delivered through that tube.

When the Pamidronate was flowing well enough, the injection site started to hurt occasionally. They put a warming blanket on my arm and that helped; I guess my veins don't like the delivery system when they're cold. I also had pain when they were flushing saline through at the end - the solution and my arm were both cold and the warming blanket wasn't warm anymore.

So after all of these troubles, the nurse and I decided that it is time to put a port-a-cath in. They can draw blood and give the Pamidronate (and chemo, when it comes to that) through the port without having to worry about my veins. Inserting the port is a day procedure that takes about 1/2 a day and takes about 10 days to heal. I'll let you know when that's scheduled.

One of the side effects of the first Pamidronate injection can be flu-like symptoms. I'm definitely feeling under the weather now and I slept for a good part of the day. My arm is also quite tender. I'll be taking it easy tomorrow and maybe Friday as well.

Home now

I made it home, safe and sound. The flights were pretty uneventful; I slept all the way to Calgary (I think I may have been talking in my sleep) and I had the row to myself on the way to Waterloo.

Of course I still miss my dad, and as I got further away from Edmonton, it seemed to hit me pretty hard that my dad was dead. It's a good thing I had that row all to myself as my face and neck were covered in tears for a good part of the way.

I miss my mom very much as well; I appreciated being able to stay there and I liked staying with my mom so I found it hard to leave. I know it was time... but still, part of me wanted to stay. I left a bunch of things behind so there is a little piece of me still there :). I hope to see you all in Edmonton soon.

Leaving tomorrow

I'm going back to Waterloo tomorrow. As much as I like being here, helping out my mom and stuff, there comes a point where I have to go back to my regularly scheduled life. And I would like to see Ian as I've missed him. I'm not sure how much I'll feel like doing when I first get home. I have all sorts of activities I could do (and an appointment on the 27th) but I might want to just cocoon myself at home for a bit.

I saw my sister this evening - just the two of us - for a while. I wish I'd been able to see her longer as we had a really good visit and I would have liked to have talked to her more. At least I did get to see her :)

I'll miss my mom a lot when I leave. I know that everyone needs their own time and place to grieve and although I've been able to help with some stuff, I think that it will be sort of easier for my mom if she's on her own. I'm so proud of her because I think that she's been very courageous in getting through this difficult time. I love that she is putting one foot in front of the other and getting through things - I know how hard that can be to do, and I love that she's doing it. I appreciate that I was able to stay with my mom and I hope I was able to help a bit with things.

The Academy Awards

The Academy Awards were on tonight and we settled in and watched the entire ceremony. I don't care that much about the awards themselves because the movies that I think should win rarely do, but I always like looking at the clothes. :)

This year there were many, many red gowns at the ceremony. I'd say that about half of the women presenting or receiving awards were wearing red - that's a lot, considering that the remaining half were wearing every other colour of the rainbow. Helen Mirren was wearing a particularly lovely gown; it was a strapless red gown with tucks and pleats radiating down from one side, and it had a built-in sparkly shrug with elbow-length sleeves. The shrug looked elegant and covered her upper arms beautifully without competing with or detracting from the dress. And who doesn't love a little sparkle? :)

The ladies on stage who were guiding the award receivers were wearing beautiful gowns, too. One gown was gold and the other silver and both were gorgeous.

This isn't to say that every gown was beautiful. Most were, of course :) However.... I thought that the dress Anne Hathaway was wearing looked a little strange, especially in the back. I think it would have looked better if the flower line had either stopped at the empire waist line or it had continued down the dress to her high hip. That line's placement looked strange and I thought it didn't work so well with the shoulder of her dress on that side. It might have been better to put the strap and flower line on different shoulders, or had them combine, or not had a draped shoulder. The back of the dress also looked odd; it looked like the flower lines should have met at a point in the mid-back but then they decided to raise the back. The back dress line that cut the flower line looked out of place.

Anyways - I enjoyed the evening very much. I'm looking forward to seeing the dresses in upcoming magazines :)

Oscar movies

We tried to watch Atonement tonight and gave up halfway through. It's supposed to be a great movie and it's up for a Best Picture Oscar award, but we couldn't sit through it. I had a hard time following the time transitions and the flashbacks confused me. I also didn't understand what was happening or when things were taking place. Once I read a detailed summary, I understood the movie much better but I felt that the movie should stand on its own.

After that, we watched Gone Baby Gone. It is also up for Best Picture and we thought it was better than Atonement. The story kept unraveling, which was interesting. I didn't much like the ending because the character's actions seemed incomprehensible to me. That character was not really developed well - there was no motivation for his actions throughout - and that made the ending difficult to understand and like.

My mom and I are both looking forward to watching the red carpet pre-show and the Academy Awards on Sunday. It's going to be quite a treat :)

Spring '08 summaries

Thanks to those of you who gave me some reassurance about the way I'm grieving. I'm beginning to think that I may have grown up a bit since I last experienced much grief. That, and I have many more tools in my toolkit to help me deal with it.

I've been asked to give a summary of current runway clothes - which is the Fall '08 season - and I still need to look at the collections to do the summarize. In the meantime, I thought I'd offer up my summary of the Spring '08 season for women. This season seems to be less about shape and more about colours and patterns.

Clothes

• the dress reigns supreme. Whichever colour scheme or style you want, you'll find a dress. There are still a lot of sheaths, trapeze dresses, shirtdresses, long dresses, flowy dresses, drapey dresses, lots of folding and gathering
• things made out of jersey and other fabrics that are drapey.
  
• wide-leg jeans
• waists are still going up. High-waisted pants and skirts are in for people other than me
• vests
• blouses - many are romantic
• tunics are still around
  

Accessories

• belts - on everything. Put them over a dress or a tunic. Skinny belts, wide belts, you name it. Most are black or natural colours. Some white and metallics are to be expected.
• big clutches - still. They came in for Fall '07 and they're still around, although they're less shiny and more patent
• big bags - in bright colours. These aren't quite as big as a few seasons ago, but you can still carry a big part of your life in them
  
• big sunglasses

Shoes

• gladiator sandals/stilettos/wedges - if you can cage your feet in it or lace it up your leg, that's good
• platforms
• ballet flats - especially Mary Jane-types with a strap over the instep
  
• wedges - sigh. And here I thought they were leaving. They're still around, but they are tending to be more natural fibres in the wedge than before
  
• peep-toed booties - sigh. I didn't much like the booties (an oxford shoe with a stiletto heel) before, although I'm getting used to them. Putting a tiny peep-toe in them looks strange to me.
• stacked wooden heels/platforms, as well as cork heels
  

Colours and patterns

• bright, saturated colours - bright yellow, orange, cherry red, royal blue, fuschia, kelly green - with almost a patent leather look/feel to them. Most often found in accessories, not clothes, although some clothes will be these colours. These colours are found in the floral prints, below. Pair with black.
• black and white together
• metallics - silver, gold, and copper - are still popular
• nude colours are still around.
• flowers - yes, flowers. Mostly on dresses, and in all sizes, from the small calicoes to big flowers. In all colours as well. There will be a lot of flowers.
  
• stripes - there are some nautical influences here, and the stripes are mainly horizontal. I read somewhere that narrow horizontal stripes are slimming. Huh?
• "painterly" patterns - soft washes of colour. Ombres, dip dyes, and ikats are examples of these patterns.
• ruffles, gathering, ruching, and some origami are still around - but not used as heavily with the flowered patterns.

I think that's it for the highlights. I'll take a look and see if I can come up with something cohesive for Fall '08.

Enough, too little, or too much?

My mom and sister made a duct-tape dummy for me. Once I get it home, I'll stuff it and I'll be able to use it as a dress form. I hope that by having this dress form with my shape, I'll be able to make better changes and drape things more accurately than I can right now. The process took about 2 hours and we had a lot of fun :) We took a couple of pictures during the process that you can see here.

I also saw Step Up 2 the Streets tonight with my niece. It was a fun movie with lots of dancing. I'm a sucker for a movie with lots of dancing. I wish that they'd had crews like that when I was growing up, although I suspecdt that I was too headstrong to work with people in developing a choreography. Anyways, watching the movie is not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed; that my dad is just away and he'll be right back. Other times, of course, I get very sad and remember that he is gone. I don't cry all the time, either, and I'm not always in danger of crying like I was a few days ago. It seems that if I'm around other people, things are almost normal... it's only when I'm alone that I realize that things are different than they were and even then, this doesn't happen all the time.

I don't have that much experience with death or grieving, but I'm pretty sure that in the past, I'd be a lot sadder for more of the time than I am now. I worry that this might be an effect of my anti-depressants - that they've dulled my emotions so much that I'm not realizing or feeling the true depth of my emotions. I don't want that to happen. I suppose it could be that I'm better at recognizing and dealing with my feelings so that they don't have to overwhelm me all the time, too - all that counseling and support groups had to have been good for something :)

I wish I knew how to figure out if the antidepressant is interfering too much with my emotions. Not that I mind not being in the depths of grief all the time. I guess I'm also worried that if I'm not sad or remembering my dad that I've let part of him go already and I'm not sure that I'm ready to do that.

Emotions are so complicated.

I'd like to pause the world, now, please

When something devastating happens to me, I feel like the world should just stop turning - that everything should freeze in place - until I've dealt with that thing that happened.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer back in 2000, the day I first met with the doctors was a perfect fall day. The sky was deep blue and the leaves were red, orange, and golden; the air was crisp and the sun was warm. I had a hard time believing that I could receive so much bad news on that one glorious day.

I feel kind of like that now. I'm amazed that people are just carrying on with their lives and that things are still happening. I know this is selfish, but I don't know how almost everyone else can keep going and live their lives when my dad has died and I feel so empty. I just want to withdraw and lick my wounds. I know I can't stay hidden away forever, though - not just because the world does go on and I'm a part of it, but because I have to get used to the fact that things are different now with my dad gone.

I know that I'm starting to heal a tiny bit when I can go out and be amongst people. Today my sister and her daughter and I went out to a fabric store. The store played easy-listening music and every time a song about loss came on I was reminded of the fact that my dad is gone.

I don't know how anyone else reacts in this sort of situation, but right now when I say that I'm reminded of my loss, what's happening is that I am flooded with sensory memories: I can see what happened and the smells and sounds come back and whatever I felt then pours over me, intensifying the ache I'm already feeling. It's an overwhelming experience at.

Today, instead of trying to shut off the radio (or screaming to block it out or running from the store), I'd stop what I was doing and just stand there aching for my dad while trying not to cry. I guess this is some kind of progress.... but it'll be a while before I'm healed enough so that I don't experience this sensory overload. Or have to fight the urge to cry.

Dealing with grief

Ian left today. He'd planned on leaving on February 14 but since my dad died the day before, he stayed an extra couple of days to be sure that I was ok. Ian is my rock and when I'm upset I rely heavily on him. I'm so glad that he could stay with us as he was able to help out with some of the practical things to do after someone dies. I miss him now that he's gone.... but I don't miss him nearly as much as I miss my dad :(

I'm not very good with death or grieving, but then I guess not many people are. I admire those that can work in an ICU or in hospice with people who are dying because I could not possibly do it. Right now, I'm a little puddle of loneliness and grief during and after and it's all I can do to get through the days.

One thing that I find helps me is to physically write down my memories and what I'm feeling. I'd tried to do this in another completely private online blog but that wasn't as good for me - it seems that I have to physically write my feelings. I find that it helps to get the memories out of my head. So often when I'm overcome with grief it's because I have these waves of memories washing over me. I end up feeling like I'm drowning in these memories. Writing them down helps me get them out of my head - I can still think about them, but they aren't clamoring for attention, you know?

Even so, my grief for my dad isn't going to just go away. He's part of me and his death has left a gaping raw-edged hole where he used to be. It will be a long time before I can think of anything related to him without it hurting and making me cry.

One other thing I've found is that it's easy for me to turn hurt into something else like, say, anger. So here is a small rant: I'm completely shocked and appalled at how expensive it is to die. The obituaries alone cost about $200 per paper per day. That's ridiculous! The death certificate costs $50, and then there are all the fees associated with changing things over to the survivors. My dad's body was donated directly to the University of Alberta's Division of Anatomy where he will help budding physicians, so we don't have to pay for cremation or burial. But if we'd had a service it would cost even more - it's crazy! I feel like these corporations and government offices are taking advantage of people at one of the most difficult points in their lives. (ok, rant over)

My dad

My dad died today at about 5:25pm MST. I am so sad :( I miss my dad so much already.

I haven't been blogging because of things here. Following is what happened with my dad.

We had come to Edmonton last week because my dad was having surgery on Friday, February 8. He had his femoral arteries replaced with artificial ones all the way from his aorta to his groin. He needed the surgery because he had no circulation in his feet and without this surgery, his feet would have had to be amputated eventually.

The surgery was very, very risky because my dad's heart was not good and he had hardening or blockage in all of his arteries. It's a risky surgery anyways - according to one of the doctors, it's about the biggest surgery they do - and normally 5-7% of patients die after it. My dad was given about a 50% chance of living after the surgery, which weren't good odds but my dad wanted to go ahead with it anyway.

The surgery itself went very well and my dad did have circulation in his feet. On Saturday, my dad was awake and lucid and we talked to him. That night he started to become very confused and disoriented. He pulled out some tubes as well and threatened the nurses. They restrained him then so that he couldn't do those things any more.

From then to yesterday, my dad became less and less responsive and was very unsettled. They finally got him settled down with painkillers, but during this time the heart damage was continuing - it never stopped. They also thought that he had pneumonia.

By this morning, my dad was completely unresponsive and his kidneys and lungs were starting to fail. His heart was still being damaged - it seems as though he'd been having a heart attack for five straight days. My dad was also on maximal life support and the best they could get him to was stable; his condition never improved.

My dad didn't want to be on life support if there was no chance of reasonable quality of life, so in accordance with his wishes, we had all the meds and almost all of the tubes (except the painkillers) removed.

He died about two hours later. We were with him up until the end, crying, talking, laughing, and remembering him. He was very peaceful when he died and there was no struggle. We were grateful to have been there with him at the end.

The people at the hospital were amazingly helpful to us during all of this. They gave us a private room in which we could set up camp. They were kind and beautiful and they made the administrative process easier. They made a terrible thing bearable.

Donations to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada can be made in his name, Craig James.

Rest in peace, Pere. I miss you.

I want to make things

It is some kind of cold here in Edmonton! Between that and the change in altitude, I'm really tired. At least I've been sleeping. :) I'm hoping while I'm here to maybe find a bellydance studio that accepts drop-in students so that I can keep up some of my dancing. I'm going to wait on that for a little while, though.

I have almost all of my beads here in Edmonton (funny, at the Waterloo airport I watched them search my suitcase because of all of the little bits of metal in that bag) and I've pulled them out this evening. I'm hoping to create some new pieces as I've been itching to really make things. This happened when I took all those new background photos for the earrings - I realized that I loved making things and I wanted to be able to make more things. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you :)

Anyways, I'm hoping that I'll make some things while I'm here. I'm also hoping to edit my current items for sale with the new photos! I'll let you know when I do that, though - if you were to have put any of those items in your cart before I edit them, then you will have to remove and re-add the items when I'm finished editing in order to actually purchase your items. It's a little "quirk of etsy's.

Made it!

We made it to Edmonton! Our cab was 45 minutes late picking us up to go to the airport and it took two hours to get there, but that was ok because our flight was dealyed about an hour and a half as well. Once we started traveling, everything worked out well. It was just getting going that was the problem.

This afternoon we watched American Gangster. It was pretty good, although we felt that it was long and we didn't always understand what the minor characters were doing. The ending was good but felt shorter than the rest of the film. Not that this was all bad :) It is a good movie and we would recommend that you see it, if you have some time on your hands.

Winter traveling woes

Ian and I were supposed to be flying to Edmonton tonight. We had planned to fly on Westjet out of the Kitchener-Waterloo airport, which is much closer than Toronto.

Traveling in winter can be unpredictable here because we get wicked storms here; flights can be delayed or canceled depending on what's going on. We had a ginormous storm come through today and this evening. Roads are closed all over the place and there are accidents everywhere. There was snow, rain, ice pellets, and freezing rain. As a result, the plane on which we were supposed to leave tonight couldn't land and was diverted to Hamilton, so our flight was canceled.

The Westjet people were very helpful. They booked another flight for us (which wound up on the wrong day, but we've just called and corrected it) to leave Toronto at 7:15am tomorrow. Westjet also arranged and paid for us to take a taxi home from the KW airport and gave us a taxi chit for the cab to Toronto tomorrow morning.

I know that not everyone was happy with how things went, but I have to say that I thought that Westjet handled everything very well. Within 45 minutes of the plane being canceled, everyone had worked out an alternate plan and taxis were on their way. And when we had to call and change the re-booking, the person was super-nice and helpful even though they're crazy busy because of the weather.

I highly recommend you fly Westjet if you can choose to over the other airline. Even though the weather makes traveling suck, Westjet makes it suck less.

My new oncologist

I saw my new oncologist today. I love her. She is so, so, so much better than my old oncologist! She is honest and open and willing to tell me things and just everything that I could hope for in an oncologist.

I'm going to see her every 2 months for now, we'll do tumour markers and other bloodwork before those two months, and I'll be going onto the Pamidronate instead of clodronate (the IV form of a bisphosphonate instead of the oral form). Although I have the littlest cataract in my left eye, since the Femara is working enough. And she will do scans every year, starting with this summer.

Her nurse even offered to put me in touch with the social worker. This is awesome!!!

I did find out something that made me quite angry. Apparently the her2/neu test for my recurrence was inconclusive and my old oncologist was going to order a more specific (FISH) test. My old oncologist never told me about this. Her2 status has a lot to do with treatment and is sort of linked with how aggressive a cancer is, and there's a particular chemo (herceptin) that is prescribed to treat it. If my cancer is her2 positive then I'll receive herceptin whenever I start chemo. We won't give it to me until then.

Her2 status is as important an indicator of cancer as the cancer's hormonal status, and my old oncologist didn't tell me that there was anything going on. We don't know if she ordered the additional test or whether she got results. I'm shocked and upset.

I definitely feel like I made the right decision to leave my old oncologist. This new finding cements my feeling that she was keeping things from me and that I couldn't trust her. But I love love love love love my new oncologist and at least I have made the switch!

Oncology tomorrow

I guess I needed sleep because I slept until almost 4pm again today. That didn't leave much time for photos, but I've managed to take a few today. I'm not going to edit them today, of course - I'm just trying to get all of the photos done.

One of my online friends suddenly developed brain mets. I'm so shocked - she had been normal until her last post last week. Apparently she had trouble thinking and talking andI guess it happened pretty quickly. Hopefully that isn't in my cards; brain mets scare me because the person's personality and cognitive ability can change. Of course most people with brain mets do really well as the treatments are quite effective.

I'd almost forgotten that I have cancer over the last little while - between this and my oncology appointment tomorrow, I remember quite clearly that I do have cancer. I have heard really good things about this oncologist and I hope they're all true. I'll let you know how it goes.

Superbowl Sunday

We went over to our friends' house for their annual Superbowl party. I'm not much of a football fan but I enjoy watching the big games, especially if I get to watch them with friends. There was very yummy chili in mild, medium, and hot variants, yummy vegetables, a cheese fountain, and assorted desserts. My friends put on a very nice spread, making the evening a lot of fun - thanks!

The game itself was great in the first and fourth quarters and kind of boring in the second and third quarters. The game was very close with a final score of 17-14 for the New York Giants.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers played a great half-time set; all of their songs were recognizable and there was no danger of a wardrobe malfunction - not that anyone would have wanted to see that with Tom Petty. It's amazing how quickly they set up and tear down the stage! I sort of wonder whether the show impacts the second half of the game, but I don't know how much the grass/turf will have changed and how much, if any, it would affect the game. It's not like curling, after all - put a stage over curling for a half-time show and the ice will be very different in the second half of the game :)

I do wish that we got a pure US feed for the game because here in Canada, we don't get the good ads; we get lame Canadian ads, and not all of them are new. I'm sorry, but the US has better Superbowl ads, and I'd like to see them in the context of the game, you know? We'll end up watching them later somehow but it won't be quite the same.

Overall, it was a fun evening; we watched a great game, talked to people we knew, played other games, and ate like royalty. I'm glad we went :)

More and more photos and a movie

I'm still working on photos for my jewelry - I got some more cardstock and took some more pictures today. This time I took photos of eight different pairs of earrings that are both light, dark, and combinations of light and dark, so I should have a good idea of what will work once I've edited all the photos. I'll be very happy once I'm only taking pictures on a few backgrounds :)

This evening we watched 28 Weeks Later. I thought it was nowhere near as good as 28 Days Later. The characters did some really stupid things and so I couldn't empathize with them as well as I usually do. Yeah, I know, horror movie characters are supposed to do stupid things, but they didn't do that in 28 Days Later or in some of the other movies we've watched. Even the stupid actions in Cloverfield were sort of understandable. The ones in 28 Weeks Later couldn't be adequately explained rationally or emotionally so I ended up thinking it was sort of silly in parts. It was sort of an interesting story. This movie is quite gory, so be forewarned, but it's not that scary; I hardly jumped at all and there was no danger that I'd dissolve in a puddle of fear while watching it.

Ian liked the movie because It was gory and had lots of action and it had an ok story. Maybe if I was in a different mood (as in, able to ignore the stuff I didn't like so much) I might have liked it as much as Ian did. I will admit that there were some good and interesting scenes, and I particularly liked the ending.

I'd say that 28 Weeks Later is good enough to see as a rental.

A fine dinner

Sorry about the lack of a blog entry yesterday. I fell asleep around 7pm and stayed asleep most of the night.

Tonight a group of 10 of us went out for a "non-dress-down" dinner, where we wanted people to not wear t-shirts and jeans. Everyone dressed up a bit and looked nice which was good to see.

I didn't finish my dress in time for tonight but that's ok. Instead, I wore a knee-length black pencil skirt and a black belt overtop a stretch black short-sleeved blouse with white polka-dots, along with black nylons and black patent heels. I looked awesome, if I do say so myself :) I might have looked nice in the dress I'm making, too, but I wouldn't have looked as curvy.

We had dinner at Wildcraft, a newish restaurant here in Waterloo. Dinner was very good; I had walnut-crusted chicken which was tasty. For dessert I had the peanut butter cookie which was divine - it was very, very, very yummy. Some people ordered the hazelnut chocolate mousse cake but it wasn't as good as the peanut butter cookie.

We really enjoyed ourselves tonight; I was glad to see everyone and spend time with them over a nice meal. Now I'm stuffed, sleepy, and satiated.

Game night, and more sewing

I was finally able to make it to a game night!!!! We had a great time playing Alhambra and Bang. Best of all was hanging out with some of our friends. Since I haven't been go a game night in forever, I haven't seen then in, well, forever.

I am still working on that dress. Sigh. If I ever finish it, I think it'll be gorgeous. But you know how you struggle to get something attached and then you decide that it's somehow not quite right? Well, I decided that I didn't like the fabric bordering the sleeves and on the collar. It looked like it had a greenish cast and it just didn't look right on the dress. So I took all of it off and have cut yet another set of these pieces out of a silvery-grey fabric, which should match the subtle silver stripe in the dress, and am starting to sew it all together. Again.

Of course I'd already trimmed and clipped my seams which makes re-sewing them tricky. I'm managing ok, though - I'm hoping that since I've done these seams already (and had trouble with them - did I mention that?) that it'll be comparatively easier. I hope so. I'd like to finish this by Friday afternoon so that I can wear it for dinner Friday night. If I don't finish it, well, I'll wear something else. But I'd like to wear my own made-for-me dress :)

A little shopping and sewing

I did a tiny bit of shopping today after getting my hair cut. I tried things on that were $7-10 plus 30% off, but I didn't like the things well enough to buy them. That's kind of a shame because it's rare that I get things so cheaply :)

I can hardly resist going into stores and looking at stuff but I am getting better at not buying things. I was on a bit of a spending spree for a while there and now I'm choosing to buy very little. Realistically, I have most of what I need for the winter and the summer, and I have a ton of fabric with which to make things.

Speaking of which, I still haven't finished the dress I'm working on. I finished sewing the collar and front piece on today - it took three or four tries. I ended up hand-basting it in place which is not something I like doing, but there was no way to get it to stay still under the sewing foot. I just have to trim it and apply the facing, then insert the zipper and finish the center back seam, and hem the dress. After that, I have some hand-work to do. I hope to finish it by Friday - if I get up early enough tomorrow, that should be possible.

That's a lot of sales!

I mailed out the bracelet I made and another pair of earrings that someone bought today. I've had a few sales since the beginning of January - enough that I now have 96 sales since I first started listing things at the end of February. That's pretty good for a hobby :) Seriously, I never expected to sell that many pieces when I first started making things. Thank you all for helping me get to this point.

I'm hoping to get to 100 sales by the end of February.... I expect that I'll be having a sale in a few weeks :)

Red carpet dresses!

I got to watch a 2 hour red carpet show for the Screen Actor's Guild awards. My need to see beautiful (and ugly) dresses has been satiated for a while. Whew! I feel a lot better now. Normally no one pays attention to these awards (certainly not their red carpets, at least not live), so it's a bigger event on tv than it usually is since the Golden Globes were cancelled. Apparently the writers gave a waiver for this SAG awards so that the it could go ahead. No word on whether the Oscars will go through.

In other news, I've listed my first bracelet. Someone bought some earrings and wanted a bracelet to go with them. The bracelet photos aren't my best ones, but that's ok. I hope the person likes the bracelet; personally, I love it. It looks really nice and I think I have just the right amount of darker accent beads to make it interesting.

Going to the movies

We saw Cloverfield today. It was awesome!!!!! It was also very scary and Ian had to hold my hand to make sure I didn't dissolve into a puddle of fear.

It starts with these people at a going-away party, and things go quite quickly straight to hell. As something is destroying the city, we follow the guy videoing the party and some others until they can't video any more. I found it very realistic - if things like those landed in Manhattan, people would react the way they do. They'd do stupid things, they'd scream, they'd hide, and they'd run. There's no soundtrack other than what we see onscreen and the sounds are right - the metal on metal, the buildings coming down, everything is real. It's like you're the one doing the filming, which makes it a more visceral experience than it might otherwise be.

It doesn't have a traditional Hollywood ending - the ending is less happy than traditional Hollywook movies, although it is much more fulfilling.

I'd strongly recommend this movie if you love scary movies like I do - there's not really any gore or violence but it manages to be suspenseful and quite frightening all at the same time. This is one of those movies I'll want to see on DVD because I'd like to see it again to figure more stuff out.

A slow day

I didn't do anything today.

Ok, that's not totally true - I worked on the dress I'm making. I stopped when I put a piece on backwards/upside-down. It actually fit that way but it wasn't right, and at first I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Now I know and I hope to fix it up tomorrow.

I also received a request from someone who recently bought earrings for a bracelet to match them. I'm pretty excited about this request and am looking forward to making the bracelet. I think(hope) that it'll look really nice when it's done.

And... that's it, I'm afraid.

Thank you!!!

Thanks very much for your thoughts and comments on the new photos! I really appreciate all of your help. I have to sit down and sift through the comments and stuff, and I expect to work on that this weekend. I meant to do some today but I slept in until 3:30pm so didn't have much time for anything.

Tomorrow if I'm up at a decent hour (and I should be because I need a doctor's appointment for some prescription refills), I hope to finish the dress I'm working on. It would be nice to be done with it! :)

Oh and by the way, the earrings in the second column of the earring photos are high-quality aquamarine stones; they are a very light clear aqua gemstone. They look completely colourless a lot pf the time with a hint of light aqua around the edges. Therefore, ideally, some light aqua colour should show up in the photos. If you look at the original listing for this pair, the ruler photo shows the aqua colour quite well.

Photo comments

It turns out that I can allow comments for the album and for individual photos of the backgrounds :) You need to be viewing the photo (not just the gallery view) to add a comment for that photo.

Feel free to add comments to the individual photos about what you like and don't like. Once again, the photos are here. Thanks very much for your help - I really appreciate it.

Edit: Photos have been rearranged so that the earrings are in columns. Thanks for the suggestions :)

Non-boring jewelry news!

I found an online source for surgical steel wire. I love the round earwires in this pair of earrings but I can't buy them anymore so I have to make them. I figure if I'm going to make them in sterling silver then I could make them in surgical steel, too, so that those of us with sensitive ears could have stylish earwires, too. I may also be able to make instead of modify surgical steel earwires for some. Yay! I'm looking forward to the wire coming in.

In even more exciting news, I have finally finished taking and editing photos showing some jewelry on different backgrounds. I chose four pairs of earrings that are difficult to photograph and photographed them on all of the backgrounds. I ended up getting rid of some because there was a moire effect in the thumbnail.

I'd like to ask for your help now. Can you please go and have a look at the photos over here? I need to choose at least two and preferably three different backgrounds. I'm only looking at replacing the first "arty" pic in my jewelry item listings as I'll keep the black hanging and white ruler pics. I just want an initial thumbnail for my earrings that makes the items pop more in a list of thumbnails.

So, which backgrounds do you like best? Not every earring is going to look good on every background - that's why I need several backgrounds - and so if you like specific background/earring combinations, that's ok and I'd like to hear about those, too. Please leave a comment or email me with your preference. I will consider all of your responses before making my final decision (and before re-taking all of my pics). I'd appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thank you for your help :)

Nothing much, I'm afraid

You know how some people have nothing to say, really, and write blogs anyways? I'm feeling like that today :)

Seriously - I'm still working on the dress and vacillating back and forth between contrast fabric banding for the sleeves and neck. I've cut out several different possibilities and I still can't make up my mind. I've left samples in the sewing room so that the next time I go in there I can be surprised by all of them again. Hopefully one will jump out as the best option.

And I'm still taking photos. I'm about to try and edit about 40 of them: 10 different earring pairs on 4 different backgrounds (well, 3 - one of them developed a moire effect at this close-up range). I'm using a wide range of earring styles and components to really get an idea of how things will look if I use them.

Robin, you might be the winner - the backgrounds I'm looking at are different shades of cream and brown :) The darkest brown is handmade paper and it has sort of a reddish cast so it's quite warm. We'll see - I still have a lot of photos to edit :)

More and more photos

I'm still working on the photos for the items in my etsy shop. The light source over the jewelry brightens it considerably. I'm also photographing the items with the camera almost resting on the table on which backgrounds are sitting. This gives the photos depth and interest.

I'm still figuring out which scrapbook paper will make the best backgrounds. I have a great cream colour with some very faint swirls and stuff on it that works for a LOT of the earrings. I'm also looking at some other brown or tan papers and an aqua paper (all with faint patterns) that might work as well.

All of this photography is pretty tiring, that's for sure. I haven't edited any of the latest photos but I'll do that tomorrow and post them somewhere. After I do whatever sewing I'm going to do tomorrow, of course :)

Thanks! (and more about my etsy photos)

Thanks for your comments, everyone. I like the crispness of the photos and I do like the darker backgrounds. I've managed to add an additional Ott-lite to the front of my lightbox that brightens up the ambient light and item to be photographed. This definitely is making a difference in my test photos.

I don't think that the dark backgrounds are going to work for all of my stuff, though, as much as I'd like it to. It's really hard to get the right aperture and shutter speed for pictures on the really dark backgrounds - I'm finding that the background colours aren't staying true but are being washed out.

Michael's has a sale on most of their scrapbook paper so I bought a bunch today in different colours and patterns. The one we like the best so far looks sort of like sand. It's tan with some different shading in it and that's probably why it works for different colours. Plus the fact that natural colours or backgrounds tend to look good with a lot of things. It seems to work for some colours. The lightest-coloured earrings do need a darker background, though (they're still not popping off of the sand colour) so we'll go back tomorrow and see if I can find some darker browns.

Thanks again for all of your opinions on this: I really appreciate your help. When I have a few more test photos I'll put them up for you to see.

Oh - I've left the Jewelry on Etsy Team. I've been thinking of doing that for a while and since they left my name off the roster recently, this seemed like a good time to actually leave. Honestly, I've felt consistently ignored by the leaders and that the team wasn't doing much for me. Also, the organizer behaves badly in the etsy forums and has been muted at least twice from the forums for poor behaviour. Hopefully I'll find a team that is more suited to me.

Etsy shop photos

I'm still trying to think of ways of re-do the photos on my etsy shop. Not that my sales are suffering; I'm actually getting sales from people I don't know. But I think that my photos could be better. Someone has suggested using quilt batting but I'm worried that they would come out too grey - although it might work.

There was also a thread about this on etsy, and there are some tips there: http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5419864

I've been looking at etsy and trunkt sites that I like. Here are a few:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5472288
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5043503
http://www.trunkt.org/client.listing_more.cfm/id/1452
http://www.trunkt.org/client.listing_more.cfm/id/2940
http://www.trunkt.org/client.listing_detail.cfm/id/1482
http://www.trunkt.org/client.listing_detail.cfm/id/718

Looking at these, they all have solid-coloured, muted backgrounds. Some are grey to black as well. The lighting in these is very similar in that they each appear to be using at three or four lights and at least one is a direct light. Right now, I'm using indirect lights only.

So what do you think? Any ideas as to how I could make my jewelry pop in photos?

More sewing

I found a great site today from Burda. They have free patterns and people post their creations and talk about them and stuff. it's called Burdastyle and if you like to sew, I'd recommend this site. I actually posted a couple of the dresses that I made two summers ago. When I finish the dress I'm currently working on, if it works out, I'll post it, too.

So far the dress I'm making - Simplicity 3559 with the long sleeves in a grey stripe - looks really great and I'm hoping it'll work out. The pattern doesn't call for it, but I'm lining the dress because the fabric I'm using is quite lightweight and could use some body. It's also a bit itchy so the lining will stop that.

Ian's home today - I'm so happy to see him again. I like being on my own but I've missed being able to see him.

Growing up too fast

Today the Tyra Banks show (I watch it semi-regularly)talked about the trend to "hooking up". Apparently it's where people get together and do some amount of sexual activity. We used to call these "one-night" stands back in the day, but I guess you can't call it a one-night stand when kids as young as 11 are the ones getting together.

Yeah, they're starting young these days. Apparently "hooking up" can be anything from kissing to oral sex - performed by the girls on the boys. These kids are doing things they can't possibly be emotionally ready to do. Sigh. How can kids be growing up so fast?

I was searching the internet on this and came across the first chapter from Tom Wolfe's book "Hooking Up". It's worth a read - it says everything that I'm not eloquent enough to say, and puts this in curious perspective.

To sleep, perchance to dream

I'm still sleeping quite a bit - today, I got up at 3pm after attempts to get up at 10am, 11am, 12noon, and 2pm. I guess I just need all of that sleep.

I have to say, though, that sleeping that much isn't all bad because when I sleep that long I have really great dreams. They're the kinds of epic dreams that go on and on and on and on - it feels like they go on for hours or days. Some of them have scary situations but most aren't that bad.

A lot of the time it's like I'm living this other life - that I'm someone completely different - and I'm just going along and living. It's like reading a book or watching a movie, in a way, except that it feels more real because dream-me is doing things and the things are happening to dream-me. The storyline of these epic dreams seems to be fairly logical and people react mostly normally. The only thing that is really odd or dreamlike are the buildings and landscapes, and they're only odd because I haven't seen them before :)

The dream-emotions do tend to be very strong, as do some of the visuals. Some of those emotions and places can sort of carry over into the next day and that can be very weird.

I think I have a better understanding now of how Coleridge could have dreamed up Kubla Khan :)

No Golden Globes for me :(

Tonight was the night that the Golden Globes awards ceremony was scheduled to air. Since the writers are still on strike, they did a press conference instead. I totally support the writers here, because I do think that they should be paid for their work that appears in any media, not just TV or movies, and I think they should be paid DVD residuals. Film and TV are so much more than just a TV or movie theatre nowadays, and writers should be compensated for the new media.

But I'm still sad because I love awards shows. I love looking at the dresses, seeing who's wearing what, the shoes, the jewelry, the makeup, and the pageantry of the event. I'm not going to watch the live winners announcement because it's faster and easier to just read it online. I don't watch the shows for the winners. :)

Even sadder is that instead of looking at beautiful people in beautiful outfits, I had to watch Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. It's funny and cute, and the song at the end is hilarious, but it's not the kind of movie I'd necessarily choose to watch. And it's definitely not a replacement for the Golden Globes.

I very much hope that the writer's strike ends with a fair deal before the Oscars.

An interesting meeting

I slept in again today - until 3:20pm! I was meeting a friend for coffee at 4pm and I made it :) I was 5 minutes late but my friend was later so that was ok. While I was waiting, there was a woman at a nearby table. She looked and sounded familiar to me. When she got up to leave, I interrupted my friend (who was there by then) and asked if I knew her. Apparently I didn't :) She said that she had been admiring our clothes and so we talked about that a little bit, and she left.

My friend and I continued chatting when all of a sudden this woman came back. She'd overheard me talking about someone I know who has bipolar disorder, and she apparently has it as well. She wanted to know if she could talk to me sometime. I gave her my card and asked her to email me and that I'd be happy to talk to her.

I know that some people might say that it's dangerous to give some stranger my card, but the card only has my email address and phone number on it, as well as my etsy shop. I guess I figure that if she was brave enough to ask to talk to me, I could make a little time for her like this. Email isn't much of a commitment, really, and I don't need to put a lot of energy into such a relationship. Besides, my intuition said that it was the right thing to do. I don't expect to hear from her, but who knows?

Sewing issues

I ended up not feeling well again this afternoon. I had leftover curry last night, and the other day that I wasn't well I'd had curry the night before, too. I'm beginning to suspect that my body doesn't like my curry :(

Since I wasn't feeling well, all I did was some sewing: I sewed a simple top together. There's something weird about it, though, because the collar doesn't look anything like the collar in the picture, and I just can't get it to sit right. The top has a wide neck and the collar kind of stands up on it. The collar is a big rectangle with one seam at center back sewn to the top neckline. It folds over horizontally so that it's only half as thick as the finished collar but there's no provision in the instructions to tack it down or anything and it won't stay folded down. It also has a very strange gape at the back that I can't seem to fix no matter what I've done so far.

The best way to fix the gape is probably to heighten the back neck and shorten the collar, which is a major alteration. I'd also have to re-sew the top. An alternative may be to re-shape the collar at the seam at the back. I'm wondering if decreasing the width of the collar at the top where it's supposed to fold over might work. I'll have to see tomorrow.

I tell you, it's kind of frustrating to work on something and follow the directions and then have it not turn out right. I think that there might be something wrong with the pattern. This does happen, I hear.

Something like productive

I had to get up early today so I set two alarms. It worked! I was up on time. Yay!

I filled my day with aimless wandering from store to store. Remember the dress I'd been trying to fix up for the wedding? It didn't work out, although I never posted that. I made a critical error and had to abandon it :( Well, an identical one was marked down to $19 so I bought it and will try again :) I also bought more sew-in rhinestones on a shirt. And I bought some stretch satin fabric on sale in some new colours.

That was really all I bought, which is pretty amazing considering the number of stores I wandered into. At one point I was looking at this gorgeous lace sling-back peep-toe platform stiletto JLo shoe in my size but I couldn't find its mate no matter how hard I looked. It's a store that has all of its inventory out so the shoe should have been there somewhere. I guess it's ok that I didn't find it because it wasn't cheap. But it was gorgeous.

I also didn't buy the other pair of JLo shoes I tried on that were marked down to $31. I loved them but they hurt my baby toes so I passed them up. See? I didn't buy a lot of things today. :)

Since I shopped pretty much all day, I didn't sew. I am hoping to sew tomorrow.

More and more sleeping

I woke up early to see Ian off - he's away for the next week - and then went back to sleep. I'd planned to sleep until 10am or so and ended up getting up at 4pm. The Ritalin only keeps me awake all day if I wake up to take it. :)

I ended up feeling kind of icky this evening so I suspect that I may be trying to fight something off. To that end, I'm going to sleep some more. Until tomorrow...

Sewing, sewing, sewing

I'm still in the mood to sew things for myself. I know I should be sewing bags or something but right now I really, really, really want to sew clothes, not bags. Today I managed to get a couple of small things done and a jersey top pattern cut out and ready to be sewn. I want to sew a particular dress - I've been planning to make it for quite a while and am really looking forward to it being done - but my waist measurement is ridiculously large due to pre-Christmas eating. I know that it will decrease over the next few weeks as my eating returns to normal and once that happens, I'll make this other dress.

Over the next week or so I'll sew a few more things. I have so many patterns and I want to make so many things... and I do have a lot of fabric in my fabric stash, after all :)

Eventually I'll get bored or frustrated with sewing for me and I'll go back to making bags. I have great fabrics for bags that I'd like to use... I just don't want to sew them this week. Of course if someone orders something I'll drop my own sewing in a heartbeat to sew the order up :)

I am getting sleeeeeepy

Some days I get up at a reasonable hour, and some days I sleep almost all day. Today was one of those latter day; I slept in until after 3pm, which means that I got about 16 hours of continuous sleep. That's a lot of sleeping.

I had this idea that I would get up at 10am or so and do things all day. That isn't how things worked out, though. Some people complain about being shaky after a nap and that's a lot like I feel when I sleep really late. Like them, when I sleep as late as I did I'm not able to really do anything for a while after I wake up. I wasn't able to start doing anything other than sit and surf the internet until 5pm. So I didn't do much today.

I do feel well-rested (although I am tired as it nears bedtime) so I think that I will be able to be awake earlier through the rest of the week. I guess I just needed a lot of sleep last night.

Etsy shop things

Members of the Jewelry on Etsy Team are setting up a couple of buys for the team at different suppliers. Going together on a purchase means that we're able to get the deepest discount on the products which is quite nice :) I'm in need of sterling silver chain in certain sizes and I've been trying to figure out where I can get it the cheapest. I think that I've found a supplier from which I can get relatively inexpensive chain. It's not cheap, really, what with sterling silver trading at $15/oz.

I'm also looking at possibly changing my photos for my etsy shop. Not all of the current ones are good; I'm not happy with the pink or purple backgrounds, for example. I'd like the pictures to feel warm, with warm-coloured backgrounds. I need at least three different colours: a light one for non-light earrings, a dark one for non-dark earrings, and a medium one for everything in-between. I'm not sure what the best colour would be - any ideas?

I'm thinking of going with fabric backgrounds, but my first tries didn't work - the fabric weave created a moire effect in the thumbnails and I wasn't happy with that. I do have some microfiber fabrics and some velvets that might work better. What do you all think?

Scary movies

I Am Legend is a very, very good movie. Will Smith is alone in most of the movie and he is able to carry it - there are no boring parts in this movie. The premise is that there's an event that wipes out most of the population and leaves the rest violent at night. Except for Will Smith, of course, who is immune. Much of the movie follows him in his daily activities.

I found the movie very, very scary; I was shaking with fear for most of it, which worried Ian because he could see that I was scared and he didn't know what to do. I don't actually remember being that scared at any movie ever before. Intellectually, I know that part of my fear was built up by the sound and music, but there was an instinctive part that was scared. As Ian said, the movie does a good job of balancing suspense-scary with "boo"-scary.

This movie is rated 14A but I wouldn't recommend it for children. There isn't really any gore or violence - it's pretty much all implied - but it could be quite scary. I'd recommend this movie to adults - although I was scared, it is really an excellent movie. Will Smith is alone for most of the movie and he really pulls this off; I hope he's nominated for something during the award season.

Later on, we watched a recording of Jesus Camp, a documentary that showed on tv. That movie was disturbing and scary for other reasons. It's about kids 5-13 years old who are evangelical Christians and go to this evangelical camp. I don't much care about which religion people belong to, but I don't think that kids that age should necessarily be indoctrinated in the way they were.

I do think that they were indoctrinated into this religion because no other points of view were expressed to them. During the camp, they were asked to come forward and share their sins publicly, with all of them crying. That's not really normal, is it? Later on, those kids were going up to people on the street and doing things like telling them that Jesus loves then and they could go to heaven. Personally, I don't think it's right to ask or permit children to do this.

One of the people who spoke to the children at this camp was an anti-abortion activist who taught them some slogans, put tape on their mouths, and led them to an anti-abortion stance. And led them to do a demonstration in Washington, DC. Again, I don't think that children - who barely know anything about sex and abortion anyways (of course they're told that it's murder, but without opposing viewpoints) - should be taught this sort of thing, let alone be allowed to protest.

The documentary did a really good job of showing just how far these extreme right-wing evangelical parents and churches are willing to go to use their children. In a way it was sad to see, because those kids have no idea what other viewpoints are out there. At the same time, it was frustrating because those parents and those people running the camps are using the children. It just seems so wrong - aren't children supposed to be innocent? What will happen to these children when they get out of the home-schooling environment and get into the "real world"?

This documentary is interesting and I'd recommend it. As Ian says, the scariest thing about it is that some of the people in the film will think that they're being portrayed in a positive light. They're not - at the end, what these people do to those children is appalling.

Almost normal

For the first time in a long while, I got up before my alarm like a normal person! I was awake at 9:30am and I didn't even have a nap today :) Not that I did much with my day, of course - mostly, I tidied things up in my jewelry area. I had a couple of sales that came in while I was in Edmonton and I got those shipped out today as well.

It looks like different people are planning some group buys from different places. This might b good for me as I need sterling silver chain. I don't have that much right now and I really need more of it. Before I order, I have to figure out which vendor will have the cheapest rates for what I want (or which ones have what I want at all). I'd like to start doing more necklaces, and those need chain. Hopefully I'll be able to get the chain I need at a reasonable price.

Home again

My flight was almost 2 1/2 hours late leaving Edmonton; I guess the stormy weather in Eastern/Atlantic Canada caused delays. I hung around the airport and read magazines, so the time wasn't a complete waste :)

The plane was only an hour late coming to Toronto but it took almost 45 minutes to get bags. Apparently there was only one baggage person working on that side of the terminal and so it took a while to get my suitcases.

Once I got home, I slept all day. I'm up now but I expect to sleep again soon.

Homeward bound

I've very much enjoyed my stay here in Edmonton but it's time to go home to Waterloo. My flight leaves later tonight - I'm all checked in and packed and everything and I'll be heading out in a couple of hours.

I got to visit my other sister this afternoon :) We wandered around one of the local malls, poking into the stores and chatting. It was a very good visit and I enjoyed spending time with her. I'm so glad that I got to see her before I left.

I stayed at my parent's house this time and I felt really welcome here, which made my visit here much more comfortable - thank you! I've really enjoyed your company this last week and so I will miss you both very much. I'm glad that we got to spend as much time as we did talking and visiting. I'll also miss the rest of my family and my friends. I was able to see everyone and while the visits tended to be a little short, I was happy just to see you all and check in.

Thanks, everyone, for making my visit awesome and memorable. I'm looking forward to seeing you all next time :)

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a great time last night while bringing in the New Year. My friend and I ended up getting all dressed up and going for dinner. The dinner was very yummy and my friend and I had a great time - we both also decided that we each had great company in the other :)

Dancing was supposed to start after dinner but didn't like the music so didn't dance. We did look at all of the outfits and we did see that there were some interesting outfits there. Some of those even showed two sets of cleavage! Others barely contained their wearer, and still others were not at all dressy. Looking at the hair people had, it seems that the rise of clip-in extensions is most likely going to bring a modified mullet back. What else can happen if you have hair shorter than your chin and you slip in 10" or longer extensions on the back and sides?

The music was hip-hop and since I don't listen to it all the time, I wasn't familiar with everything they played. There were a lot of hip-hop listeners there, too.... and I wasn't totally comfortable around them. It seemed to me that the men looked at the women as though the women were pieces of meat; that they didn't appreciate the women's curves because they belonged to women but because they liked the curves. And the women allow them to look at them this way, which I thought was sad.

Of course I haven't been in a club in a few years and some things are different - like almost all women take their drink and purse on the dance floor (it isn't safe to leave them behind). This makes for a very strange dance for some, mostly involving shuffling feet while simultaneously pushing the butt out and nodding the head. I also noticed that many people use their cell phone to take a photo of themselves or their friends (or random strangers) doing, well, anything. Aside from the fact that I don't like camera flashes, I'm not comfortable with the lack of privacy this rampant picture-taking implies.

We left that club at about 11:30pm. We figured that we shouldn't ring in the new year in a place where we weren't totally happy - it's better to leave those places behind and do something else.

That something else wound up being the fireworks in Downtown Edmonton. I guess the fireworks we saw last night will be the last big one for a while. It seems that the fireworks' launch pad is on property that will be developed this upcoming year. The fireworks were amazing!!!! There were swirly ones and big blossom ones in multiple colours! (I only remember those in at most two colours). If we'd had a slightly better view and a real camera instead of a a camera-phone, then we could have taken some amazing photos. The fireworks were reflected by some of the mirrored buildings and I think those shots would have been cool.

Overall, I'm glad I went out with my friend and I'm really happy with the way things ended up going. We had a good time and I'm hoping that this will be a reflection of the upcoming year.

I wish I could wave a magic wand for all of us that would make the illnesses and unhappiness out there disappear. Since I don't know when that wand will appear, I will settle for wishing that 2008 brings me, you, and yours an abundance of joy, good health, and peace.