Avoiding tomorrow

As you know, we're leaving for North Carolina on Saturday (in two days). I should be cleaning and packing and getting ready for that, you might think.

I didn't do any of that today. Instead, I spent much of the day driving to Bass Pro Shops at Vaughan Mills to get myself a new tackle box for my beads. I managed to wander around part of the rest of the mall and try stuff on, too. Everyone's got stuff on sale :) I only bought the tackle box. It's got wheels and a handle and can also be carried as a backpack. Since my beads weigh about 40 pounds, I didn't want to get one that can only be carried via a shoulder strap or something as it would be too heavy. I'm very pleased with my tackle box purchase - especially since I got it 50% off when I was only expecting it to be 25% off!!!

So when I came home, did I pack and stuff? No. I decided to continue trying to make a dress. I got to the point where I have to take something out (if I don't sew for a while, I forget about how to attach the lining to the outer fabric when sewing a fully-lined sleeveless dress. Sigh.) and then I stopped.

I don't actually think I'm avoiding packing so much.... I have an oncologist's appointment tomorrow. I don't actually think that the liver ultrasound will show anything, since no one has called me, but of course I am a bit worried about that. In addition to that, I need to talk to my oncologist because I'm not comfortable with the way that she gives us information and I'm dreading it (as is Ian). I kind of get the feeling that she talks down to us and that she isn't volunteering information to us (like if I don't ask, she won't tell). She rounds the tumour marker numbers to present them in their best light, and I'm worried that she's not in my corner. I do know that the situation as-is is not good for me and that something has to change. I'm willing to give her another chance although I might be happier with a referral to one of the other oncologists there.

I am going in assuming that she has as much trouble dealing with me as I have with her - I'm not so conceited as to assume that this is a one-way street. We'll see how it goes. Sigh.

On a positive note, the pain is definitely decreasing. I haven't had to take Percocet at all this week and I've been able to cut my painkillers from 4 times a day to 3 times a day. I can't just go off my painkillers; I have to be weaned off because I'll have a physical tolerance for it. I do hope I can cut my painkillers even more :)