Over the last couple of days I've been spending too much time on the internet, especially on one of the cancer support boards. I care deeply about many women there and normally check in on a regular basis to see how they're doing. Once in a while I also like to read and shake my head at the drama - it can be compelling in a train-crash kind of way, you know? - but lately I've actually allowed myself to become *part* of the drama. As a result, I'm giving too much of myself into this manufactured drama. This isn't a good thing, because it takes so much energy, distorts my perspective, and isn't really *living*.
Once I realized that this was happening I went out. I felt that I just get out of the house and reconnect with the world around me a little. I went to Chapters and bought some Stephen King books to fill in my collection and then I went to the mall to wander around. I'd have gone for a walk outside to enjoy the signs of spring but it was pouring rain. I'll do that another day.
I felt so much better just getting away from the computer that I spent most of the evening lying on the couch and reading. It was so relaxing and invigorating all at the same time.
I think I'm going to try to back away a bit from the support board and to spend less time on the computer for a while. There's more to life and living than immersing myself in an online support board... and I don't need to immerse myself to give or receive support.
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