Friday, May 01, 2009

There are better ways to live than this

Over the last couple of days I've been spending too much time on the internet, especially on one of the cancer support boards. I care deeply about many women there and normally check in on a regular basis to see how they're doing. Once in a while I also like to read and shake my head at the drama - it can be compelling in a train-crash kind of way, you know? - but lately I've actually allowed myself to become *part* of the drama. As a result, I'm giving too much of myself into this manufactured drama. This isn't a good thing, because it takes so much energy, distorts my perspective, and isn't really *living*.

Once I realized that this was happening I went out. I felt that I just get out of the house and reconnect with the world around me a little. I went to Chapters and bought some Stephen King books to fill in my collection and then I went to the mall to wander around. I'd have gone for a walk outside to enjoy the signs of spring but it was pouring rain. I'll do that another day.

I felt so much better just getting away from the computer that I spent most of the evening lying on the couch and reading. It was so relaxing and invigorating all at the same time.

I think I'm going to try to back away a bit from the support board and to spend less time on the computer for a while. There's more to life and living than immersing myself in an online support board... and I don't need to immerse myself to give or receive support.

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