Monday, May 11, 2009

Just call me sleepy

Sleep sleep sleep ... over the last few days, that's all I've done. I didn't get up until almost 4pm today. I guess it's the Pamidronate, because I've been so tired.

I've also felt sort of melancholy lately; I hear things on the radio or see something on tv and I feel all ... well, sort of sad, I guess. I end up wishing I could go back to before and re-live the event or change its outcome.. or just be younger.

That's the thing, I think - I really just want to be younger than I am. I don't know if it's because I don't think I remember those times, or if it's because I don't want to get older. I understand better now why people and civilizations value youth so much.

I expect that when I'm feeling less tired I'll feel less melancholy - when I'm tired, emotions (especially negative ones) are magnified and it's easier to wish I could go back and change my history. So I think I'll get some more sleep - I must still need some - and see how I feel in the morning.

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