Wednesday, June 01, 2011

2011 Cannes Red Carpet - days 3 - 5

Here are more Cannes red carpet outfits for your viewing and critiquing pleasure!

I don't think I've mentioned that I'm only looking at red carpet outfits. Most of these red carpets are for movie premieres and galas. I'm not including any of the seaside photocall outfits, as cute as they are, because there are just so many outfits to examine.

I'm so far not including any of the fashion show outfits; by the time I'm finished with these posts, if I'm still up for it, I'll do a special post for that event.

Anyways, on to the outfits for days three through five after the jump.

Day 3 (May 13, 2011)

Polisse premiere

Sandrine Kiberlain in Chanel Haute Couture
I have to wonder why she would choose to wear a sequinned sundress sack with casual sandals and hair to a red carpet event. Wearing a designer label doesn't automatically confer good taste on the person, as we can see here.

Fan Bing Bing in Elie Saab Couture
Sigh, another wedding-type dress. This one is quite demure and romantic with its flowing lace sleeves and train and it definitely suits her... but it wouldn't be out of place on a bride at her wedding. Fortunately, her gorgeous jewelry isn't bridal at all.

Habemus Papam premiere

Cheryl Cole in Stephane Rolland
Those fake-looking, asymmetric boobs (they look photoshopped, don't they?) look like they're about to fall out of that neckline. Clearly she's drawing attention to them with that gold upside-down heart thing that both points to her boobs and echoes their shape and because she's completely covered up otherwise.  Not that I can see details on the dress for the boobs.

Ines de la Fressange in Chanel
This look is interesting but it doesn't seem to really work, does it? The jacket proportions look all wrong on her between the opening width at the waist and the length of the peplum. 

Chloe Mortaud
Well, this is.... interesting. It's trying to be a mullet dress but fortunately the mullet is very small. The way the patterns are put together, with the closer lines on the abdomen, make her bodice look a bit bigger and her waist smaller and give her an hourglass-type shape. The vertical lines through the torso and skirt elongate her figure even though there are a lot of horizontal lines on the bodice.

Hearat Shulayim premiere

Candice Boucher in Gavin Rajah
She must be very confident to appear practically naked on the red carpet. And to wear something that at first glance makes her look like she's pooing herself.

Valeria Marini
I'm not sure she could look trashier if she tried. there's a lot of skin showing through the dress and on parts that aren't covered by the dress. The dress looks painted onto her, which is fine for some events but not this one.

Yuval Scharf
I love all lace but my favourite lace designs are the ones that are more contemporary or geometric, like the lace used here. And I do love a lace collar. Sadly, I don't love this dress because the skirt is much too full and draws the eye away from that gorgeous lace. 

Alma Zack
I love this outfit with its embellished top and a-line skirt. It's flattering to her figure and definitely suitable for the event. I also love the subtle sexiness the deep neckline gives the look.

Wu Xia premiere

Sarah Jessica Parker in Elie Saab
I'm sure that this print looks less busy and more attractive in person but why she chose it for photographs I have no idea. Between the skirt volume, train, and long sleeves, the dress overwhelms her tiny frame. Her hair looks great, but who notices it?

Tang Wei in Roberto Cavalli
I love this silhouette although the colour is much too close to her skin colour. The corset waist, deep-vee neckline, and asymmetric hem all work together to create a beautifully balanced, elegant design. 

Fan Bing Bing
I do love the layers of pink on the skirt because it reminds me of rose petals. I imagine that this dress really looks beautiful when it's in motion. The colour is perfect for her.

Belvedere party

Rosario Dawson in Dolce & Gabbana
In theory, this dress should be sort of slimming because of the strong vertcal lines at the center front. However, it ends up making her look wide, especially at the high waist where the two fabrics come together. Had her boobs been better supported, the waist seam been in the most flattering spot at the smallest part of her torso, she worn a black belt, and the skirt been cut in such a way that there were no lines pointing out at the hip, this look would definitely have been better. Nothing can totally elevate this look to great (or even good) but she could definitely have made it to ok.

Day 4 (May 14, 2011)

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides premiere

Penelope Cruz in Marchesa
Ok, whose idea was it to put poufy shoulder thingies on dresses? They shorten the wearer's neck and make it look like the wearer is really, really tense by visually putting the shoulders up near the ears. They don't even flatter Penelope Cruz who is gorgeous and well-proportioned. Even without those shoulder poufs, this frothy confection is a bit too precious for her.

Clemence Poesy in Yves Saint Laurent
It looks like she's been captured as she's about to do the robot. Or else she's practicing her mannequin pose, I don't know. Maybe she's trying to take attention away from this peasant-top mullet dress? 

Angela Ismailos
This dress makes her look huge! I don't think she's all that full-figured but somehow this dress makes her look twice her size. If Cannes had a competition to see who has the widest or least flattering dress, she would definitely be in the running for that prize.

Axelle Laffont
If there were more than one of her and they all stood together she'd be able to confuse predators. Oh wait, she's not actually a zebra. And no self-respecting zebra would have their top open down to their waist even if it did look super-sexy.

Bethany Hamilton
This negligee-wedding dress hybrid definitely flatters her figure and colouring. I think I'd be happy if the wedding dress on the red carpet trend were to go on a permanent honeymoon.

Jane Fonda
When I grow up I want to look as amazing as she does. She looks fantastic in everything she wore at Cannes, including this beautiful dress. The ruching across the abdomen is very flattering, as is the off-the-shoulder neckline. 

Clotilde Courau
I have to ask: is that an ombre effect on the train or did that bit get dragged through water? And how is it possible that this dress is baggy at the knees?

Hofit Golan
Aaaannnd... another wedding dress. Are women not getting married young enough anymore so they want to be able to wear a wedding dress even if they're not getting married? 

Uma Thurman in Chanel Haute Couture
It's never a good idea to wear a dress that's too small. While I love the back of this nearly bridal-looking dress because it reminds me of a slinky, sensuous, bias-cut 30s gown that's only a bit snug, the front is another story. The smocking bulk at the waist makes her waist look as big as her boobs. Meanwhile, her boobs look both saggy and like they're compressed. Her belly also looks huge between extra room just beneath the waist, the snug fit over her hips, and the embellishment lines. She's so beautiful and yet from the front she looks dumpy in this dress.

Astrid Berges-Frisbey in Chanel Couture
I love lace, and I love the look of lace over a matching underlayer like this. But why, oh why, is there so much room over the waist and belly? If she were pregnant this dress would be the perfect choice.... but she's not pregnant. Also, those shoes are all kinds of wrong for this dress. I assume that they're one of her favourite pairs and that she likes to re-use shoes. That's great, but these shoes work better in the fall and winter than in the spring. Honestly, it's ok to have a second pair of shoes for spring... something in a white, dark grey, blue, purple, or pink would have been perfect. 

Karolina Kurkova in Chanel
This look should be ugly. Seriously - a lace sheath with criss-crossing lines of feathers? And yet it works. Moreover, somehow the total look with the dress and those peep-toe ankle booties (which are also unusual bordering on ugly) is awesome. Are we getting a glimpse into models' superpowers?

Paz Vega in Azzaro
Sometimes a look is more awesome than the sum of its parts and sometimes, like now, it's more awful. Wearing a flesh-coloured jumpsuit is tricky even for a model. To look aweosme, the jumpsuit has fit perfectly, have flattering details, and be a colour that is flattering and not too close to the wearer's skintone. This jumpsuit is both too big and too long, has decidely unflattering details (the ginormous bow at the waist, the nude tongue apparently reaching for her crotch, and the pleated pants), and the colour washes her out. You'd think that someone who could afford to buy this jumpsuit would choose something more flattering, wouldn't you?

Martha Marcy May Marlene Premiere

Elizabeth Olsen in The Row
She's the younger sister to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and is wearing an outfit designed by them. I love the simplicity and effortlessness of the top even though it's sheer in some photos. It's ok to wear a bra or nipple covers - or even to line your top - if the top you're wearing goes sheer under bright lights. I'm not convinced that it works with the skirt because the combination makes her torso quite rectangular. A belt would help. Also, while those pumps are a perfectly safe choice, adding a pop of colour through the shoes would make this look awesome.

Day 5 (May 15, 2011)

The Artist premiere

Hofit Golan (with Said Taghmaoui)
It's a good thing that there are appliques on top of her boobs because I might not have known where those boobs were. That's the theory, I guess, because otherwise those applique things don't add anything to what is otherwise a perfectly lovely dress.

Michele Laroque (with Kad Merad)
I guess they don't sell dresses at or around Cannes because if they did, she wouldn't have had to wear this sad, droopy, short, unflattering dress. They must not sell shoes, either, because this dress was clearly hemmed for non-platform shoes and she must have packed only her platform shoes.

Missi Pyle
I wouldn't think she'd be comfortable going out in her nightgown, but what do I know. Of course the fact that her hair and makeup are done makes her look more like a courtesan than someone ready for sleep.

Delphine Chaneac
This is a cute little dress. It doesn't seem all that formal, however. And while I like a pop of colour from shoes, this particular pair are not a good colour for her. And they completely clash with her lipstick.

Berenice Bejo (with Jean Dujardin)
A normal dress almost looks boring when compared to all of the more unusual dresses. She's not showing too much skin, the dress fits her well, and it's perfect for the occasion. 

Anne-Sophie Lapix
We really don't see enough pantsuits these days - and this is a great example of a pantsuit with the wide-legged pants and vest. The white looks so fresh and it's perfect against her skin.

Tonie Marshall
Why would anyone choose to wear a dress with a spread-eagled rat on the front? I obviously don't understand fashion. I do like the lace sleeves but the rest is beyond me.

Melanie Doutey (with Gilles Lellouche)
I'm a sucker for a dress with ruching and asymmetry like this. From the front, this dress is sexy but not vulgar, fitting her in all the right places. From the back, it's jaw-droppingly sexy.

Karine Silla (with Vincent Perez)
Another suit on a woman on the red carpet! I love the tuxedo-like aspect to this one with the satin lapels, pockets, and waistband. I also love whatever lacy thing she's wearing under it. I only wish she was wearing a bit more jewelry.

Frederique Bel 
She wouldn't be out of place as a gogo dancer - imagine that fringe swinging from side to side as she danced! Of course her boobs would likely spring free as well if she was dancing hard enough to set that fringe flying. Maybe that's part of the appeal?

Olivia Ruiz
Oh look - it's a shoulder ruffle! At least there's only one of them, but she makes up for that deficiency with her very tall hair.

Deborah Francois in Herve Leger
What a fabulous colour for her! I don't usually love bandage dresses like this but it's a style that works for her. If you've got a figure like she does, why not show it off?

Tang Wei in Dolce & Gabbana
I read on the interwebs that some don't like this outfit, that it's too casual for the event. They're right, as this is more suitable for a lunch than a formal red carpet. That said, I do love the print on the dress and the fishnet stockings.

Li Bing Bing in Georges Chakra Couture
Here comes the bride, all dressed in white, with swans on her boobs, and I don't know how to make it rhyme. You just know that some bride somewhere wants to get married in a huge poufy tulle skirt with a spiky swan bodice. We can only hope that we don't know that bride.

Sonam Kapoor in Jean Paul Gaultier
I think this might be my favourite dress from this entire series of red carpet posts. I love the sheer overdress with the black striped patterns and the fullness over the slim under-dress. The only thing I don't love is the weird shoulder pad. If that weren't there, this dress would be perfectly amazing.

Fan Bing Bing in Atelier Versace
If this dress wasn't ombre - if it was a shade of white -  what would we have here? A bridal dress!  Even so, since it is in shades of purple, it's gorgeous. The colour and silhouette are perfect for her.

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