Next year I think I'll do the critiques as Cannes goes on instead of waiting to the end. When my friend put in a request for me to do the Cannes red carpet posts, for some reason I didn't realize that there were so many outfits to critique. I know better now.
Let's have a look, shall we? They're after the jump, as usual..
Day 7 (May 17, 2011)
de Grisogono dinner
I think there must be a lot of breakout dancing at this dinner. How else can I explain why she's wearing bellydance bra top and skirt full enough for dancing?
If you're going to wear a nude bandeau bra underneath a sheer bodice, make sure that the bra covers the entire boob and doesn't squish, deform, or flatten it. Better yet, don't wear a sheer mullet dress.
Between the oversized bodice and the neverending matte colour (which isn't all that flattering to her colouring), this dress is just too much for her. It's always sad to see a beautiful woman looking this dowdy.
|Lady Victoria Hervey|
What's with this trend of ankle-length long dresses? It isn't a look that I love because the but maybe I'm just used to dresses that reach the floor. Unfortunately the proportions of this one look like it should reach the floor.
Well this is... odd. There's lots of lace and feathery things and droopy bits. It almost looks like this started out as a lace dress and she ripped off parts of it and added boas to it in some kind of bedazzling frenzy.
|Hofit Golan in Valentino|
I love this dress even though it's way too long on her. It's the short-sleeved version of the one that Franca Sozzani wore at the Met Gala; I loved it then and I love it now.
She likes colourful outfits, doesn't she? While I don't love the pink to blue gradation, or the print itself, the colours suit her. She does look a bit like a linebacker in this dress, however.
Day 8 (May 18, 2011)
If a sheer chiffon robe over a lacy triangle bra is the kind of thing she normally wears when she goes out, I think we can all guess the circumstances under which she got pregnant.
Oh I love the waist on this dress! The silver creates a criss-cross effect that is so slimming and that sets off the white and her tan perfectly. This is a perfect choice for her.
The Conquest premiere
|Milla Jovovich in custom Prada|
I LOVE this! It's got a 30s-inspired look that I love and I especially love the strong red contrasting lines. This is one of my favourite looks of the whole event.
|Eva Herzigova in Dolce & Gabbana|
It's a good thing that she's wearing a long-sleeved jacket because otherwise someone might mistake her for a working girl with those short shorts and sky-high heels.
People wear strange things on the red carpet. A long, skin-coloured, towel knotted in front is a strange look. It may be made of a lovely silk charmeuse but a towel made of silk charmeuse still looks like a towel.
Did she just wander in from the nearest shopping area and decide she was attending the premiere? I thought everyone knew that the trick was to dress like you belonged at the event. Maybe she missed the memo.
|Laetitia Casta in Roberto Cavalli|
Even though this dress is a bit too long and the bodice looks like the slip that Elizabeth Taylor wore through most of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, I like it. It's delicate and has an ethereal quality and it's a great colour for her.
I don't know what bothers me more - that she's wearing a one dollar bill, that it's got Obama's portrait on it, or that the "bill" had to be shortened so she could wear a miniskirt.
Cinema for Peace dinner
|Naomi Campbell in Versace|
Big Bird is in the house! This feathery towel is certainly not for everyone; after all, most people don't have it in them to walk around looking like a puppet.
It's a good thing that her hair is long enough to hold up the bodice of this slip because otherwise she'd be showing off her boobs for everyone to see. It's kind of a strange use for hair but who am I to argue?
Most people wear their shapewear under their clothes, not over them. Honestly, what was she thinking? That gorgeous brocade skirt deserves to be paired with something less.... spandex-y.
Roberto Cavalli Opens a New Boutique
Those panels are all laced together which would border on sleazy in another environment. For a beach/boat party, it's perfect.
Would it kill her to smile, I wonder? The dress is nice, I guess, and perfect for a boat/beach party. I love the jewelry she's wearing but that bag is much too heavy for the dress and jewelry.
|Elisabetta Canalis in Roberto Cavalli|
Wowie, this is sexy! The bodice looks sheer and the skirt is very mini - I hope she doesn't drop anything or she could be in trouble. Then again, if she's looking for some extra money, this is the outfit to wear.
|Ana Beatriz Barros|
I love that she's completely covered up except for those cutouts at the waist. It's a very sexy look without being over the top or sleazy. She looks completely relaxed and comfortable.
The combination of matte and sequinned areas adds interest to what otherwise would be a very plain dress. The colour is close to her skintone but instead of washing her out or making her look naked, somehow it makes her look luminous.
Look at that colour! She's got a big flower on the front of the dress. It works, though, because it's the only bunch of colour on the dress. I don't actually like the colours of this dress but I do like its boldness and the big design.
Normally showing off one's shoes isn't that important but these must be special somehow. The dress is somewhat casual and perfect for a more casual celebration. The black bag is a little heavy with the rest of the outfit.
|Ana Araujo in Roberto Cavalli (with Ronnie Wood)|
Now this is a perfect sundress with its bold colours, volume, lightweight fabric, and spaghetti straps. She looks great: relaxed, casual, and ready to spend some time on a boat.
Day 9 (May 19, 2011)
The Skin I Live In premiere
I do love a print on the red carpet, all right. It helps that the dress silhouette is gorgeous and that this is a daytime event. She looks elegant and stylish.
It's like she's wearing the image of an ice skater's costume of a sparkly bodysuit with fringe. But why would she be wearing something like this? I don't get it.
photo credits: zimbio.com, hellomagazine.com, vogue.it, harpersbazaar.com