Today I went in to talk to my former counselor about the last session. I was very nervous last night and didn't sleep well but I felt quite calm when I actually went in to the centre.
I told my former counselor what I had told you in that recent post in the nicest way possible - firmly, but honestly. She was surprised that I'd felt that way because she had thought the session went so well, that I'd been so open and honest, and that she was worried when she hadn't seen me since then. She asked me why I didn't call her right after that session to tell her how I felt. Well, of course I didn't call her - it was her words that had left me feeling this way!
She said that she had been trying to challenge me and that she didn't mean for that to be interpreted as disbelieving what I was saying. I talked to her a bit about word choices and how important it is to choose neutral words so that she doesn't come across as judging, labelling, or leading the person. I don't think she really understood me. Sigh. I'm not sure that English is her first language and that may be part of the reason why I came away from this feeling like she didn't really get what I was saying.
Afterwards, she told me that she thought I was very strong and she was impressed with me. And she thanked me for speaking honestly with her and giving her the feedback she did.
So that's over. I'm not sure how much difference it made but at least I said what I needed to say. I'm proud of myself for standing up for me by telling her (as clearly and honestly as possible) how I really felt without attacking her personally or hurting her feelings. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Whew!
3 comments:
Well hopefully it will work out then. If not don't hesitate to drop her and find someone else.
PD
Oh, I've left her - I just wanted to be sure that she knew why I was leaving. After that one experience I don't feel fully comfortable being open with her. Once I've felt that way there's really no going back.
I'll find someone else in a few months. I think I'd like to find a psychologist instead of a social worker. I want to talk to someone who's more familiar with the kinds of mental illness that my mom had and the effects that those illnesses have on the family. it's possible that a social worker might know that stuff but I think a psychologist is a better bet.
Hugs,
Chantelle
i'm so happy you went ahead and spoke up with the counsellor. it is important for her to know how you felt, for sure. otherwise she can't improve for the next person. impressive!
love,
vicki
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