I saw my family doctor today and he had my CT and bone scan results. They both showed nothing other than the sternal mets that I've had for a couple of years now. In other words, it looks like my cancer is stable. Yes!!!!! I was thrilled when I found this out and I'm still quite excited about it. I did a really big happy dance.
Later on I thought about my dad and how he'd be so happy for me and how it was Father's Day yesterday and how I was in Edmonton with my parents last year for Father's Day when things were starting (but we didn't know then how bad things were) and I dissolved into a puddle of tears. I ended up crying myself to sleep in a nap and so I missed bellydance class today. I haven't cried this hard since the day he died. Grief strikes in unexpected ways, even now. I love you, Pere, and I miss you so much.
You're stable!!! Yes!!!! Yay!!! Whoopi-do!!! Happy dance...Happy dance...Happy dance :)))
For me too it seems like this is a particularly difficult month for my greiving. I've wondered if it's just becoming 'real' for me.
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