Friday, December 17, 2010

Lethargic and grumpy

We'd planned to go to a friend's place tonight to see a movie but I just wasn't feeling up to it. I'm feeling quite lethargic most of the time and I'm impatient when anything deviates from whatever I'd planned. It seems that I'm also feeling quite a bit of anger that I'm so far controlling but that I don't like.

The anger stems from the uncertainty around some stuff related to my mom's estate. She died without a will and without appointing anyone as her executor. Her estate's pretty small so my sisters and I are trying to figure out the best way to do something. All of the uncertainty and the pressure to make decisions - and no clear decisions to be made - leaves me feeling flustered and upset and I handle those best when they're plain old anger.

At least I have an appointment to see an individual counselor in January. This isn't the person I was going to talk to at the cancer center; it's someone else at a local counselling place. We'll see how that goes. I figure that it can't hurt and there are things with which I could definitely use some help.

I'm looking forward to the day where I'm finished grieving my mom's death... and the day that all of her estate stuff is permanently wrapped up.

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