The next paragraph reveals a vague generality (aka "spoiler") about one of the shows we watch that might be a spoiler. If you haven't watched tonight's Monday night tv yet, you might want to stop reading here.
Still with me? Ok. We watched a show on tv tonight that ended up with one of the characters dying. I don't want to be any more specific It caught me off guard and even though the person didn't die of cancer, the point was that the person did die. And I cried and cried and cried.
Watching the scene - touchingly done, with lots of realism and wisdom - brought back my grief for my dad and my friend that died earlier this year. Watching someone die always reminds me that I'm going to die, too. Right now I'm very lucky because things are going well, but the time will come when I'm not so lucky and I wind up dying. I don't want to die.
I hope that I stay very lucky for a long time to come. In the meantime, I'm trying to live my life the best I can. I know that sounds sort of silly :) I'd like to think that I'm sort of spiritually advanced and living a good life, and that I've accepted death and dying... but clearly that's not the case today.