Saturday, December 23, 2006

Feeling sorry for myself

On the sidebar over there I've added a bunch of links to blogs by young women with breast cancer. Only one has advanced cancer like me (I think), but some of the things that the others are experiencing are very similar to what I went through the first time around. There are a lot of links over there, huh?

I hope that those others never get recurrences or metastases. Having stage 4 breast cancer sucks way more than having stage 0-3 cancer. The only advantage now is that I have a realistic view of what I'll be faced with, whereas before I didn't really have a clue. All those women with stage 0-3 breast cancer are lucky, because their treatments get to end - mine will continue for whatever life I have left. I envy those women. They get to go back to a normal life after treatment, like I did before. I wish I could have that normal life back. What's worse is that I also know that no matter how much my previous treatments sucked (which they did), I will have more treatment suckinage in my future. How fun is that?

Anyways - yeah, it's a bit of a pity party for me tonight, it seems. It's been a stressful day with packing and traveling, and this will be my first Christmas with my "new normal" of advanced breast cancer. That's hard.

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