I found out how my friend died. Apparently she had a twist in her small intestine that cut off blood flow to her intestines. Somehow she bled out - I'm not sure how, although it could have been during surgery - and nothing could be done to save her so she died. It's like she was struck by lightning. Selfishly, I wish that lightning had struck someone else so that my friend was still alive.
I'm still feeling very sad. I've decided that I won't be going to the visitation or funeral although I'm having trouble articulating why I won't go. I'll send a card, of course, even though that feels like such a small thing to do. As sad as I feel (and I know that my sadness is tied up in my feelings about my childhood and the work my psychologist and I are doing), it's nothing compared to what her husband and son must feel. My heart hurts for them, too.