My meditation group started again today. I'm so glad that I went, even though I was tired, as I find the meditations keep me feeling emotionally even. I wasn't sure that I would get there because it starts at 10am and Ian had the car today but I managed to get myself up and out of bed to arrive on time.
It was really important to me to go to this group, just as it will be important to go to curling this week. I've been pretty lackadaisical about going to these and other events in the past but now I'm going to try and show up for everything to which I've committed (unless I'm sick, of course). I made this decision because when I was in Edmonton and people backed out of plans with me, I ended up feeling disappointed. It's not like I'd never had people back out of plans with me before, but for some reason I really noticed it this time and it bothered me.
So I got to thinking, and I realized that if it disappointed me when people backed out of plans with me, then it's likely that other people feel disappointed when I back out of plans with them. While I don't usually care all that much about what people think of me, I don't want to break commitments and disappoint people if I don't have to do that. So if I commit to doing something or being somewhere, then I'm going to work a lot harder to me to honour that commitment than before (where I might have blown off the event because I was shy or a little tired or whatever).
I'd like to think that this is a step towards living honestly and mindfully... and maybe growing up a little? Either way, I'll get more out of my meditation group if I actually show up for the group each week.