Halloween is the best time! We get to decorate the house in tacky Halloween stuff and carve pumpkins AND give out candy to cute little dressed up kids. Photos of the decorated house are here. Closeups of the pumpkins are here. Ian designed both pumpkin patterns this year and I think he did a great job. He's also much better at actually cutting out the patterns than I am :) I had to re-do my pumpkin as it didn't turn out very well the first time, but I'm pleased with the final result.
Usually we get a few teenagers out but there were none this year; all of the 41 kids who came to the door were under 12 or so. I'm ok with that because I like giving candy to kids.
This year, there were princesses and frogs and teenage mutant ninja turtles and zombies and batman and spiderman and more. I love the little boy's superheroes costumes with the muscles :) One very young person (he was maybe 2 years old) pointed at my candy bowl and kept saying "Caaaaaanddyyyy!!!!" His mom told him that he had to say "trick or treat'", so he then said "tri or tre". I figured that was close enough :)
One lovely young zombie asked me, "What did one casket say to the other casket?" Me: "I don't know." Zombie: "Who's coffin in here? *cough* *cough*" :) What's not to love there? :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Magazines and shopping
The second magazine I subscribed to - Fashion - arrived today. It had three perfume inserts, and I've emailed them and asked for perfume-free issues. Elle Canada did respond and I will receive non-stinky issues of that magazine beginning in January. Whew! I am prepared to cancel any subscription that can't provide scent-free issues, but I do like reading those magazines :)
I went shopping today, and would you believe that I didn't buy any clothes? Yep, it's true. I did go to Fabricland and buy some fabric, though :) They have a lot of fabric on sale - their silk charmeuse is 50% off, and Vogue patterns are only $5.99. I didn't buy any of that. I bought some black stretch crinkled velvet and black knit for bellydance skirts, and I bought some swimsuit lining and flesh-coloured stretch mesh for bellydance costumes.
There were some beautiful fabrics there... a stretch berry red crepe that I loved, brushed yarn-dyed cotton plaids, embellished velveteens, corduroys, houndstooth fabrics... I love them all. Unfortunately, I have no real use for any of those fabrics :( If I bought them, they'd end up sitting there and wouldn't be made into anything.
I went shopping today, and would you believe that I didn't buy any clothes? Yep, it's true. I did go to Fabricland and buy some fabric, though :) They have a lot of fabric on sale - their silk charmeuse is 50% off, and Vogue patterns are only $5.99. I didn't buy any of that. I bought some black stretch crinkled velvet and black knit for bellydance skirts, and I bought some swimsuit lining and flesh-coloured stretch mesh for bellydance costumes.
There were some beautiful fabrics there... a stretch berry red crepe that I loved, brushed yarn-dyed cotton plaids, embellished velveteens, corduroys, houndstooth fabrics... I love them all. Unfortunately, I have no real use for any of those fabrics :( If I bought them, they'd end up sitting there and wouldn't be made into anything.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Magazines and movies
I'd subscribed to a bunch of magazines and I got the first one - Elle Canada - today. I thought I'd asked on the little card for perfume-free issues, but that isn't what I got. In fact, I think I got extra perfume samples. When I buy a magazine off a newsstand, there might be two or three perfume inserts. My magazine had FIVE. Five!!! What a ridiculous number! How could any one scent be distinguishable in that perfumery? I've sent them an email asking how I get perfume-free issues. I'd rather not get the magazine if it's going to smell like that.
I also went out today and bought a bunch of DVDs that were on sale. I got Dreamgirls (I hadn't seen it, Children of Men (seen it, but it's worth watching multiple times), Murderball, Saw, Saw II, and Saw III.
I'm watching Dreamgirls now. It's pretty good even if it is a musical :) I love the eye makeup on the ladies - they all look like they have these beautiful doe eyes. I wish I could make my eyes look like that; next time I dress up, maybe I'll try :)
I also went out today and bought a bunch of DVDs that were on sale. I got Dreamgirls (I hadn't seen it, Children of Men (seen it, but it's worth watching multiple times), Murderball, Saw, Saw II, and Saw III.
I'm watching Dreamgirls now. It's pretty good even if it is a musical :) I love the eye makeup on the ladies - they all look like they have these beautiful doe eyes. I wish I could make my eyes look like that; next time I dress up, maybe I'll try :)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Ian's away
I woke up very early see Ian off; he's gone to California for training. Yes, training - he's starting a job tomorrow :) He'd taken a break from school in the summer and then had interviews in the early fall. He'll be working at a high-tech company in the city. I'm so very proud of him :) I hope he likes the job.
I meant to go and do some bellydance workshops later in the day, but I didn't. I made a conscious decision to not go to the first workshop at 10:30am in order to sleep. I'd planned on going to the 1:30pm workshop but I didn't get up until 3pm. Sigh. I guess I needed the sleep.
I did make it to the Bewitching Bellydance Ball this evening, though. I dressed up in costume; you can see it here. It was a lot of fun - if you're in the region during the last weekend of October next year, you should definitely attend. It's bellydancing set to other kinds of music and that tells a story. Of course most of the stories are ghoulish and spooky :)
I meant to go and do some bellydance workshops later in the day, but I didn't. I made a conscious decision to not go to the first workshop at 10:30am in order to sleep. I'd planned on going to the 1:30pm workshop but I didn't get up until 3pm. Sigh. I guess I needed the sleep.
I did make it to the Bewitching Bellydance Ball this evening, though. I dressed up in costume; you can see it here. It was a lot of fun - if you're in the region during the last weekend of October next year, you should definitely attend. It's bellydancing set to other kinds of music and that tells a story. Of course most of the stories are ghoulish and spooky :)
Saturday, October 27, 2007
I don't like funerals
So I don't love funerals any more than I did before. There were a LOT of people at the funeral for the young woman - she was 41 - from my in-person support group. It appears that she had made a huge impact on the community and people around her.
Apparently she had wanted a service with lots of poems and songs and that's what we had. Yes, people talked about her and there was mourning, but it was really a celebration of her life and so was quite positive.
I'm hoping that our young women's group does some sort of memorial thing so that we can remember her, too.
Apparently she had wanted a service with lots of poems and songs and that's what we had. Yes, people talked about her and there was mourning, but it was really a celebration of her life and so was quite positive.
I'm hoping that our young women's group does some sort of memorial thing so that we can remember her, too.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Fun after curling
We went curling tonight for the first Friday night of the season. We like Friday night curling because it's very relaxed; most people are newish or beginner curlers so there's not a lot of pressure to curl really well. This means that we can try things we might not normally try and we can practice our technique.
More importantly, we have a lot of friends who curl on Friday nights. There are three other couples that we like to spend time with outside of curling, and they all curl on Fridays with us. This makes the games and overall atmosphere upbeat and fun. After curling, we usually go for dinner with some or all of these couples.
Tonight we'd thought we wouldn't go out for dinner as we have a lot to do tonight and tomorrow, but we ended up going to The Keg with them anyways. We haven't been out with these people in a long time and I've missed them. We all had a great time talking and eating yummy food :)
More importantly, we have a lot of friends who curl on Friday nights. There are three other couples that we like to spend time with outside of curling, and they all curl on Fridays with us. This makes the games and overall atmosphere upbeat and fun. After curling, we usually go for dinner with some or all of these couples.
Tonight we'd thought we wouldn't go out for dinner as we have a lot to do tonight and tomorrow, but we ended up going to The Keg with them anyways. We haven't been out with these people in a long time and I've missed them. We all had a great time talking and eating yummy food :)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Bellydance costume
We came home to Waterloo today. Thursdays are quite busy; I have bellydance followed by curling, and when Spirituality and Healing groups are meeting, I have that before bellydance.
We're learning the choreography for the recital in December. We actually spent a bit of class figuring out what our costumes were going to be. Funny though, our instructor doesn't care at all about costumes; it's those of us in class who are interested in our attire. We've figured out that we'll all wear red tops. I'm going to look at the market and see if there are broomstick skirts there. Personally, I'd rather go with a black skirt - then I can make it to be more flattering on me. Because I'm short, I'm better off with a skirt that is more mermaid-like or form-fitting than with one that hangs straight down from my hips. The latter widens me and makes me look shorter.
We may also make some scarves to wear around our hips - something with some mesh and long fringe. I was going to try and make a sample as well. I rather like the idea of fringe, as long as it's pre-bought.
Anyways - my instructor was not impressed with all of this talk as she'd be happy if we danced in jeans. It certainly entertained the rest of us, though :)
We're learning the choreography for the recital in December. We actually spent a bit of class figuring out what our costumes were going to be. Funny though, our instructor doesn't care at all about costumes; it's those of us in class who are interested in our attire. We've figured out that we'll all wear red tops. I'm going to look at the market and see if there are broomstick skirts there. Personally, I'd rather go with a black skirt - then I can make it to be more flattering on me. Because I'm short, I'm better off with a skirt that is more mermaid-like or form-fitting than with one that hangs straight down from my hips. The latter widens me and makes me look shorter.
We may also make some scarves to wear around our hips - something with some mesh and long fringe. I was going to try and make a sample as well. I rather like the idea of fringe, as long as it's pre-bought.
Anyways - my instructor was not impressed with all of this talk as she'd be happy if we danced in jeans. It certainly entertained the rest of us, though :)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Mourning twice over
I am so tired of cancer.
When I finished my blog last night I checked my mail and found out that one of my young women's support group members had died. Her funeral is on Saturday and we will try to attend. She had had breast cancer that had metastasized (spread) to her bones, liver, and brain. For the last few months she had been bed-ridden as one of the brain tumours made her paralyzed. She leaves behind 3 little kids (the youngest is about 2 1/2 years old - she was first diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant with the littlest one) and her husband. He's been pretty well out of work for two years now. What will happen to them? I'm so sad for the family.
After I finished reading about this, I went to one of my online breast cancer support groups and found out that one of the members there had died. She had bone and liver mets and she'd only had them for five months, since May, 2007. It all happened so fast - her liver started to fail a few weeks ago and then she just died. She didn't have any children and she leaves behind her husband. He's heartbroken.
Both of these women were about my age. My heart is aching for their families and friends - it's so not fair that these women died so young. Last night I cried and cried and cried; I will miss them. They were both wonderful women who went out of their way to help people whenever they could; they were honest, loving, and patient. It was like each of them had a light that just shone around them - the world is a darker place now that they're gone. :(
When I finished my blog last night I checked my mail and found out that one of my young women's support group members had died. Her funeral is on Saturday and we will try to attend. She had had breast cancer that had metastasized (spread) to her bones, liver, and brain. For the last few months she had been bed-ridden as one of the brain tumours made her paralyzed. She leaves behind 3 little kids (the youngest is about 2 1/2 years old - she was first diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant with the littlest one) and her husband. He's been pretty well out of work for two years now. What will happen to them? I'm so sad for the family.
After I finished reading about this, I went to one of my online breast cancer support groups and found out that one of the members there had died. She had bone and liver mets and she'd only had them for five months, since May, 2007. It all happened so fast - her liver started to fail a few weeks ago and then she just died. She didn't have any children and she leaves behind her husband. He's heartbroken.
Both of these women were about my age. My heart is aching for their families and friends - it's so not fair that these women died so young. Last night I cried and cried and cried; I will miss them. They were both wonderful women who went out of their way to help people whenever they could; they were honest, loving, and patient. It was like each of them had a light that just shone around them - the world is a darker place now that they're gone. :(
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Oncologist's appointment today
I saw my oncologist today. It turns out that my tumour markers have gone down, to 41.3 from 46.2. So they've done this: 57.8 (August, 2006) -> 48.0 (October, 2006) -> 39.6 -> 41.4 -> 46.2 -> 41.3 (October, 2007). We think it's safe to say that my tumour markers are oscillating between 39 and 48, and that's just what is normal for me right now. This is really good news; normal for this particular marker is 38, and I'm just about normal. Well, in this sense, anyways :)
What this also means is that we can continue to look at this tumour marker, and if it starts heading out of this normal range we know that there's something going on.
I also talked to my oncologist about the fact that I still feel that I can't relate to her and have asked for a referral to another oncologist at this cancer centre. She had no problem with it at all and will go ahead and refer me to someone else. Whew!!!! I talked to the nurse afterwards (not the usual nurse as she is on vacation) and she said that switching doctors there is not at all uncommon. I had been quite worried about how this would go - I didn't want to burn my bridges, as it were/ I think I handled it very well and professionally and I was quite impressed with me :) I should have an appointment with a new doctor in four to six weeks.
I've been uncomfortable with my oncologist and nurse since the beginning. I've tried hard to change this and to be comfortable with this oncologist/nurse pair, but in the end I just couldn't do it. During my recent liver mets scare, I realized that there was no way that I would put myself in the hands of my current oncologist - if I couldn't have seen another oncologist right away I would have gone back to my old oncologist in Credit Valley.
These feelings were so strong that I knew that I had to ask for the referral now while things are quiet. It's very important that I be completely at ease with my doctors because I have to trust them with my life. Hopefully I won't get a doctor that I'm LESS comfortable with :)
What this also means is that we can continue to look at this tumour marker, and if it starts heading out of this normal range we know that there's something going on.
I also talked to my oncologist about the fact that I still feel that I can't relate to her and have asked for a referral to another oncologist at this cancer centre. She had no problem with it at all and will go ahead and refer me to someone else. Whew!!!! I talked to the nurse afterwards (not the usual nurse as she is on vacation) and she said that switching doctors there is not at all uncommon. I had been quite worried about how this would go - I didn't want to burn my bridges, as it were/ I think I handled it very well and professionally and I was quite impressed with me :) I should have an appointment with a new doctor in four to six weeks.
I've been uncomfortable with my oncologist and nurse since the beginning. I've tried hard to change this and to be comfortable with this oncologist/nurse pair, but in the end I just couldn't do it. During my recent liver mets scare, I realized that there was no way that I would put myself in the hands of my current oncologist - if I couldn't have seen another oncologist right away I would have gone back to my old oncologist in Credit Valley.
These feelings were so strong that I knew that I had to ask for the referral now while things are quiet. It's very important that I be completely at ease with my doctors because I have to trust them with my life. Hopefully I won't get a doctor that I'm LESS comfortable with :)
Labels:
cancer,
doctors appointments,
test results,
tumour markers
Monday, October 22, 2007
Lazing around watching tv
I didn't feel my best today. I woke up in the night because I wasn't well and have spent most of today feeling a bit off. I've had a very bad woogly back since last night - I took some Ativan in the afternoon and had to take more when that wore off this evening. Sigh. I wish I knew what was wrong.
This evening we watched Dragon's Den on CBC. My parents watch it and told me about it; it's a reality show where people come on and try and get one or more of five investors to invest in their idea for a share of their company. It's understated and low-key, which makes it all the more interesting. The "Dragons" themselves are very successful Canadian business people who are willing to invest in small companies if they think those companies have a chance. This show is definitely worth watching
Tonight a fellow was demonstrating a thingy that can be used to clean horses. He demonstrated it on a dog and the Dragons couldn't see how it could be used for horses or even that there is a market for that. I'd expect that there is a market for something that will clean horses quickly (and they may even like it because it combs them down to their skin). The fellow got no money from the Dragons. :(
For this season of Dragon's Den, I guess you can vote on your favourite business that got nothing from them. If they get the most or second most votes for that week, they might end up as part of a final five who get to appear before the Dragons on November 28. The top finalist there wins $50000 (and people who vote could win $5000, too!). It's a way for the audience to second-guess the Dragons. :) You can vote here: http://www.cbc.ca/dragonsden/armchairdragon.php (registration required).
This evening we watched Dragon's Den on CBC. My parents watch it and told me about it; it's a reality show where people come on and try and get one or more of five investors to invest in their idea for a share of their company. It's understated and low-key, which makes it all the more interesting. The "Dragons" themselves are very successful Canadian business people who are willing to invest in small companies if they think those companies have a chance. This show is definitely worth watching
Tonight a fellow was demonstrating a thingy that can be used to clean horses. He demonstrated it on a dog and the Dragons couldn't see how it could be used for horses or even that there is a market for that. I'd expect that there is a market for something that will clean horses quickly (and they may even like it because it combs them down to their skin). The fellow got no money from the Dragons. :(
For this season of Dragon's Den, I guess you can vote on your favourite business that got nothing from them. If they get the most or second most votes for that week, they might end up as part of a final five who get to appear before the Dragons on November 28. The top finalist there wins $50000 (and people who vote could win $5000, too!). It's a way for the audience to second-guess the Dragons. :) You can vote here: http://www.cbc.ca/dragonsden/armchairdragon.php (registration required).
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I need more pants
Remember I bought new pants because I'd gained weight and my old pants didn't fit anymore? Well, that must be a surefire way to LOSE weight, because most of those pants are now a little bit to a lot bit too big :) The jeans are definitely too big and I don't like the colour of my other jeans. In the hopes of finding nice jeans that fit, I spent the afternoon trying on pants.
You know, I love shopping, but a whole afternoon of trying on pants and having them not fit is less fun than my usual shopping experience. I tried on 10 pairs of pants at Mark's Work Wearhouse and bought one pair that was on sale and that fit. They have some amazing jeans there - some of them have something called "CurveTech" that is supposed to make your butt look full, firm, and high. What it is is a layer of strong mesh inside the jean but it wasn't strong enough for my butt, I'm afraid. I'm not sure that there's anything short of surgery that could make my butt look any of full or firm or high - and certainly not all three at the same time!
I tried on another 18 pairs of jeans at Winners, which was basically everything they had in my size in that store. I had no luck at all there :( The only thing I came away with was a scrapey mark on my left leg from their theft-marking device. Sigh.
I hope to look at some other stores over the next little while. For now, I'm back in Mississauga and so I'll do some more relaxing here.
You know, I love shopping, but a whole afternoon of trying on pants and having them not fit is less fun than my usual shopping experience. I tried on 10 pairs of pants at Mark's Work Wearhouse and bought one pair that was on sale and that fit. They have some amazing jeans there - some of them have something called "CurveTech" that is supposed to make your butt look full, firm, and high. What it is is a layer of strong mesh inside the jean but it wasn't strong enough for my butt, I'm afraid. I'm not sure that there's anything short of surgery that could make my butt look any of full or firm or high - and certainly not all three at the same time!
I tried on another 18 pairs of jeans at Winners, which was basically everything they had in my size in that store. I had no luck at all there :( The only thing I came away with was a scrapey mark on my left leg from their theft-marking device. Sigh.
I hope to look at some other stores over the next little while. For now, I'm back in Mississauga and so I'll do some more relaxing here.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Back from Mississauga
I managed to get a ride home with some friends who were in the GTA today. When Ian and I had gone to Mississauga for yesterday's appointment, I didn't drive our car because I was too tired and nauseous. Ian is staying in Mississauga but I needed to get back. Thanks to all my friends who offered to drive me :)
I watched two episodes of Meerkat Manor on TVO today. I loved it!!!!! It was a really great show, much more interesting than I thought it would be. The meerkats are adorable, and they really do have dramas - both in their own clan and with other clans. I highly recommend it.
I watched two episodes of Meerkat Manor on TVO today. I loved it!!!!! It was a really great show, much more interesting than I thought it would be. The meerkats are adorable, and they really do have dramas - both in their own clan and with other clans. I highly recommend it.
Friday, October 19, 2007
No mets!!!!
That's right, I have no liver mets!!!! The ultrasound was completely clear and showed no inflammation, and my liver function numbers are well within normal. YAY!!!!! We're very relieved :)
My doctor thinks that my problem might be stomach-related and so is putting me back on Nexium. I'll continue to take the Zofran for nausea.
My doctor also gave us tips on how to talk to my oncologist about getting a referral to another oncologist in the same cancer centre. Ian gets to open up the discussion, which he's not at all happy about, since he doesn't like conflict. If you didn't know, I'm not comfortable with my current oncologist and I want a new one. I've heard good things about a couple of other oncologists at the cancer centre and so I'll ask for a referral to one of those doctors.
My doctor thinks that my problem might be stomach-related and so is putting me back on Nexium. I'll continue to take the Zofran for nausea.
My doctor also gave us tips on how to talk to my oncologist about getting a referral to another oncologist in the same cancer centre. Ian gets to open up the discussion, which he's not at all happy about, since he doesn't like conflict. If you didn't know, I'm not comfortable with my current oncologist and I want a new one. I've heard good things about a couple of other oncologists at the cancer centre and so I'll ask for a referral to one of those doctors.
Labels:
cancer,
doctors appointments,
test results,
tests,
treatment
Thursday, October 18, 2007
How much I've changed
I went to my Spirituality and Healing group this afternoon for the first time in three weeks. We talked about letting go of things - like anger, or being control-freaky, or whatever. I told them about how, when I was working, I could be quite mean and callous; that I didn't give the people I worked with enough credit for being themselves and for having their own talents, and that I expected everything to be done my way. I've changed a lot in the last year and a half and I know that I'm more patient, compassionate, and forgiving than I was before.
Anyways, as I was saying all this today it struck me that one of the main reasons that I want to go back to work is to show people just how much I've changed. I guess I want to show other people that I'm not the person that I was and that I can still get as much done and be as efficient while also being a better person. One person in particular bore the brunt of that and I've apologized to that person for the way I behaved.... and I think I also want to apologize to other people as well, you know? But the only way I can really apologize is by showing people that I'm different. I can SAY I'm different, but, well, saying so doesn't make it so.
I don't expect that I'll work again. If it turns out that I don't have liver mets, there is a chance that I might get to work. If I have liver mets, well, I won't be working again.
I'll let you all know how things went after the appointment tomorrow. Ian and I have decided that we're hoping that I have some kind of liver infection and not liver mets.
Anyways, as I was saying all this today it struck me that one of the main reasons that I want to go back to work is to show people just how much I've changed. I guess I want to show other people that I'm not the person that I was and that I can still get as much done and be as efficient while also being a better person. One person in particular bore the brunt of that and I've apologized to that person for the way I behaved.... and I think I also want to apologize to other people as well, you know? But the only way I can really apologize is by showing people that I'm different. I can SAY I'm different, but, well, saying so doesn't make it so.
I don't expect that I'll work again. If it turns out that I don't have liver mets, there is a chance that I might get to work. If I have liver mets, well, I won't be working again.
I'll let you all know how things went after the appointment tomorrow. Ian and I have decided that we're hoping that I have some kind of liver infection and not liver mets.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Test results on Friday
I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and I should get my liver ultrasound and liver function test results then. It was going to take 4-5 days to get the ultrasound results so they should be ready on Friday. The liver function tests should have been available on Monday so I'll definitely get those as well. I'm quite nervous about the appointment, because I'm scared that I have liver mets. However, I've talked to some people who have had similar symptoms as me but who had something other than liver mets - so it's possible that there's something else wrong with me. Wouldn't that be awesome?
I've been quite nauseous with a fair amount of pain in my liver today. Sigh. I just want the pain and nausea to go away - I feel like crap. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
I've been quite nauseous with a fair amount of pain in my liver today. Sigh. I just want the pain and nausea to go away - I feel like crap. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
More and more sleep
I should have known that having a bit nap yesterday afternoon would make it more difficult to sleep last night. I ended up getting up at about 3:30pm today. For some reason I thought it was around 11am, but all the clocks said about 3:30pm, so I must have been wrong. I did feel very refreshed when I got up which is a big change for me - I'm usually tired when I get up.
Of course I did nothing at all of interest today - I mean, I did some laundry, but that's not exactly interesting, is it? :) Tomorrow I'm going to Well-fit and then bellydance which will at least get me out of the house :)
Of course I did nothing at all of interest today - I mean, I did some laundry, but that's not exactly interesting, is it? :) Tomorrow I'm going to Well-fit and then bellydance which will at least get me out of the house :)
Monday, October 15, 2007
How much sleep do I need?
After my swimming lesson, I went shopping at H&M. This time, I got four non-black jersey shirts, although it took me two hours to do it :)
Once I got home, I had a nap, intending to get up in time for Well-fit. Unfortunately, I didn't get up until four hours after Well-fit started... oops. It's not like I didn't go to bed last night; I got 10 hours of sleep which should have been enough. But no, apparently I needed another six hours tonight. I hope I'm tired enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour :)
Once I got home, I had a nap, intending to get up in time for Well-fit. Unfortunately, I didn't get up until four hours after Well-fit started... oops. It's not like I didn't go to bed last night; I got 10 hours of sleep which should have been enough. But no, apparently I needed another six hours tonight. I hope I'm tired enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour :)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Looking for some colour
Ian let me sleep in all the way until noon today! I felt quite rested when I got up. I could barely type my blog by the time I was finished it last night - I started going to sleep right there, and I fell asleep really quickly when we went to bed.
After dropping Ian off in Mississauga this afternoon, I went to H&M. I'd planned to get some tops that weren't black as most of the tops that fit and look nice are black. Don't get me wrong; black is a fine colour. Worn every day, though, it's a little much. I tried on a ton of things there and ended up buying five tops: a fuchsia and white t-shirt, a black cropped cardigan with big silver polka-dots, a beautiful black blouse with white polka-dots, a grey jersey shirt with a black pattern, and a black, white, and grey jersey shirt. Hmm. That's four black tops by my count :)
I'm going to return the two jersey shirts - they're like t-shirts but not in the same kind of basic t-shirt pattern. They're nice, but maybe I can find something that's less... black. :)
After dropping Ian off in Mississauga this afternoon, I went to H&M. I'd planned to get some tops that weren't black as most of the tops that fit and look nice are black. Don't get me wrong; black is a fine colour. Worn every day, though, it's a little much. I tried on a ton of things there and ended up buying five tops: a fuchsia and white t-shirt, a black cropped cardigan with big silver polka-dots, a beautiful black blouse with white polka-dots, a grey jersey shirt with a black pattern, and a black, white, and grey jersey shirt. Hmm. That's four black tops by my count :)
I'm going to return the two jersey shirts - they're like t-shirts but not in the same kind of basic t-shirt pattern. They're nice, but maybe I can find something that's less... black. :)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Went to a wedding today
We went to a friend's wedding today. We've known the happy couple for a few years - they're really great for each other and together make the world a better place.
The wedding ceremony and dinner were each delayed but about 30 minutes because we were waiting for someone. There had been an accident on the 401 and so the ceremony was delayed in hopes that people stuck in that traffic would make it in. The dinner was delayed because we were waiting for a projector that someone was supposed to bring. Aside from those two delays, everything ran very smoothly. The food was delicious, the hall clean and bright, and the decorations festive. It was a very nice venue with very good food.
I think that if Ian and I ever get married, we're going to ask that children under 10 not come. There were about eight or ten kids there of varying ages up to about eight years old. They were brats. One whined and cried through the whole ceremony and refused to listen to his parents (I asked the dad whether the child had a form of autism since he didn't respond to people's instructions and seemed lost in his own world, but the father said that he was normal. Hmm). During dinner several kids (including the aforementioned delightful one) ran around the tables chasing each other. During the speeches, they played cars and throwing toys over on the dance floor, blocking out the speeches themselves.
Not that the speeches or ceremony is necessarily interesting, but I'd rather not be distracted by small children with short attention spans forced to stay awake and do stuff with their parents from noon to midnight or so. Those kids were LOUD.
Not that I hate kids; I don't. I don't much like them these days, partly because I can't have any, but I don't mind them if I don't really notice them. That's why, if we ever get married, we don't want little kids there. Don't worry, if there were such little people whenever this hypothetical wedding happens, we'll provide entertainment for them during the "boring" parts. Fair enough? :)
The wedding ceremony and dinner were each delayed but about 30 minutes because we were waiting for someone. There had been an accident on the 401 and so the ceremony was delayed in hopes that people stuck in that traffic would make it in. The dinner was delayed because we were waiting for a projector that someone was supposed to bring. Aside from those two delays, everything ran very smoothly. The food was delicious, the hall clean and bright, and the decorations festive. It was a very nice venue with very good food.
I think that if Ian and I ever get married, we're going to ask that children under 10 not come. There were about eight or ten kids there of varying ages up to about eight years old. They were brats. One whined and cried through the whole ceremony and refused to listen to his parents (I asked the dad whether the child had a form of autism since he didn't respond to people's instructions and seemed lost in his own world, but the father said that he was normal. Hmm). During dinner several kids (including the aforementioned delightful one) ran around the tables chasing each other. During the speeches, they played cars and throwing toys over on the dance floor, blocking out the speeches themselves.
Not that the speeches or ceremony is necessarily interesting, but I'd rather not be distracted by small children with short attention spans forced to stay awake and do stuff with their parents from noon to midnight or so. Those kids were LOUD.
Not that I hate kids; I don't. I don't much like them these days, partly because I can't have any, but I don't mind them if I don't really notice them. That's why, if we ever get married, we don't want little kids there. Don't worry, if there were such little people whenever this hypothetical wedding happens, we'll provide entertainment for them during the "boring" parts. Fair enough? :)
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tests today
I was able to get in to have the abdominal ultrasound this morning. They squeezed me in for 9:30am, and the whole procedure took about a half hour. She took a lot of pictures of my liver and did quite a few measurements - some of those are things like pancreas and gallbladder and all that. She said that my doctor would get the results in four or five days.
The bloodwork to check my liver function took no time at all after waiting for about a half hour. The technician asked why I was doing these tests and I said that we were checking for liver mets. She asked what kind of cancer I had, and I said that I had had breast cancer and now I have mets to my bones. When I said that, she looked so sad. After she finished drawing the blood, she squeezed my hand. Surprisingly, that made me feel better.
So I won't know anything until late next week. There is a small chance that I don't have liver mets; I could have some sort of infection or my liver may have decided to stop processing all of the drugs I take. Or I could be living in an episode of House and I have some rare disease. :)
Yes, I'm scared, but I'm ok. I'm still doing things I like to do and I'm trying to keep myself happy (ie distracted).
The bloodwork to check my liver function took no time at all after waiting for about a half hour. The technician asked why I was doing these tests and I said that we were checking for liver mets. She asked what kind of cancer I had, and I said that I had had breast cancer and now I have mets to my bones. When I said that, she looked so sad. After she finished drawing the blood, she squeezed my hand. Surprisingly, that made me feel better.
So I won't know anything until late next week. There is a small chance that I don't have liver mets; I could have some sort of infection or my liver may have decided to stop processing all of the drugs I take. Or I could be living in an episode of House and I have some rare disease. :)
Yes, I'm scared, but I'm ok. I'm still doing things I like to do and I'm trying to keep myself happy (ie distracted).
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I wasn't hoping for this
Sorry that there was no blog entry yesterday; I'd fallen asleep at 8:30pm and went straight up to bed at 11pm to wake at 10am this morning. I'm less tired today :)
I did see my family doctor today and talked to him about my nausea, pain in the upper right quadrant of my abdomen, and tiredness. He had me lie flat and then he checked where the edges of the liver were. After that, he applied gentle pressure on different parts. The gentle pressure caused some pain - not, like, excruciating pain, but pain nonetheless. It turns out that my liver is swollen. He is pretty sure that I have liver mets. Sigh.
He's sending me for a liver ultrasound first thing tomorrow - I don't have an appointment but I'm to go to the clinic and beg for one. My doctor is also asking for bloodwork that will give us an idea about how well the liver is functioning right now. I kept telling him that I was seeing my oncologist the week after next but he wanted to do this all on his own. Yes, I know I had a scan in late June, but I think my mets (if that's what's there) were just baby-sized then and couldn't be seen at that time with that technology.
He also gave me prescriptions for Zofran for the nausea and Ativan (lorazepam) for the anxiety. I have been feeling pretty anxious for a while as I have been worried about the pain and achiness in my abdomen around my liver.
I won't lie: I'm quite scared about this whole thing. Liver mets are more serious than bone mets and that scares the crap out of me..... for now, though, I'll take this one step at a time.
I did see my family doctor today and talked to him about my nausea, pain in the upper right quadrant of my abdomen, and tiredness. He had me lie flat and then he checked where the edges of the liver were. After that, he applied gentle pressure on different parts. The gentle pressure caused some pain - not, like, excruciating pain, but pain nonetheless. It turns out that my liver is swollen. He is pretty sure that I have liver mets. Sigh.
He's sending me for a liver ultrasound first thing tomorrow - I don't have an appointment but I'm to go to the clinic and beg for one. My doctor is also asking for bloodwork that will give us an idea about how well the liver is functioning right now. I kept telling him that I was seeing my oncologist the week after next but he wanted to do this all on his own. Yes, I know I had a scan in late June, but I think my mets (if that's what's there) were just baby-sized then and couldn't be seen at that time with that technology.
He also gave me prescriptions for Zofran for the nausea and Ativan (lorazepam) for the anxiety. I have been feeling pretty anxious for a while as I have been worried about the pain and achiness in my abdomen around my liver.
I won't lie: I'm quite scared about this whole thing. Liver mets are more serious than bone mets and that scares the crap out of me..... for now, though, I'll take this one step at a time.
Labels:
cancer,
doctors appointments,
fatigue,
pain,
tests
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Ontario votes tomorrow
The Ontario provincial election is tomorrow: please vote if you're eligible! Aside from the fact that voting is our democratic responsibility, there's a referendum tomorrow, too, and it's important to vote in that. In case you aren't familiar with the referendum question and background, you can find all the information you want to read over at yourbigdecision.ca.
Ian and I are in Mississauga this week and so can't vote tomorrow in our electoral district. We didn't find out we were going to be here until after the advance polls closed and so what we've done is to ask one of our friends to cast our vote for us - aka we are voting by proxy. I'm really glad that we have this option as I was going to be disappointed if I couldn't vote. I mean, we might have been able to drive back to Waterloo before the polls closed at 9pm, but we didn't want to have drive that much.
Ian and I are in Mississauga this week and so can't vote tomorrow in our electoral district. We didn't find out we were going to be here until after the advance polls closed and so what we've done is to ask one of our friends to cast our vote for us - aka we are voting by proxy. I'm really glad that we have this option as I was going to be disappointed if I couldn't vote. I mean, we might have been able to drive back to Waterloo before the polls closed at 9pm, but we didn't want to have drive that much.
Monday, October 08, 2007
A crafty Thanksgiving
I spent most of the day working on the dress that I'll be wearing to the wedding. I bought it to fit my hips and so the top is too big because my top size is smaller than my bottom size. It took a while to fix up the seams that had come undone because I'm not accustomed to working with that fabric.
I got the shoulders taken up (part of fixing the dress was to shorten the bodice by shortening it at the shoulder seam) and as I was checking the fit, Ian and I realized that the dress might look better sleeveless. If it was sleeveless, it would make a cleaner, sleeker line, making me look taller. We'll see. I'd hoped to finish the alterations today but didn't have time, so I'll be doing them through this week. We'll be in Mississauga starting tomorrow afternoon and I'll just take my sewing machine there to finish up.
I don't yet know whether I'll take all my beads or just some of them to Mississauga. I've been making some earrings lately and part of me would like to pick through my beads and create more. Then again, I should be working on this custom stuff so I should only bring things associated with that. At least I've made some new earrings recently; I hope to get these ones photographed and listed over the next while, so if I don't make anything new it's not the end of the world.
I got the shoulders taken up (part of fixing the dress was to shorten the bodice by shortening it at the shoulder seam) and as I was checking the fit, Ian and I realized that the dress might look better sleeveless. If it was sleeveless, it would make a cleaner, sleeker line, making me look taller. We'll see. I'd hoped to finish the alterations today but didn't have time, so I'll be doing them through this week. We'll be in Mississauga starting tomorrow afternoon and I'll just take my sewing machine there to finish up.
I don't yet know whether I'll take all my beads or just some of them to Mississauga. I've been making some earrings lately and part of me would like to pick through my beads and create more. Then again, I should be working on this custom stuff so I should only bring things associated with that. At least I've made some new earrings recently; I hope to get these ones photographed and listed over the next while, so if I don't make anything new it's not the end of the world.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Early Thanksgiving dinner
We went to Ian's parent's house for Thanksgiving today and got to eat very yummy turkey and pumpkin pie (as well as stuffing, potatoes, vegetables, and other sides). We're both quite full after gobbling all of that food. :)
You know how we're trying to lose weight? Well, I've lost 4 pounds in the last week but the software indicates that I'm only 1500 calories under what I should be eating to lose 16 pounds in a year. I don't feel hungry at all - and I occasionally even feel stuffed - but the weight seems to be melting off just now. Not that I mind :) I would like it come off just a little bit more slowly, though.
I'm very tired these days, partly because I haven't been sleeping well. It takes me a couple of hours to get fully to sleep and until then, I sleep very lightly and am awake a lot. Part of this is the pain which is up a bit. Part of this is also that I'm worrying, and I should take some anti-anxiety meds - but the only thing I have is the clonazepam which knocks me out completely. I'll go and see my doctor this week to see if he'll give me something milder like Ativan.
Why am I worried? Well, my tumour markers were up ever so slightly the last two times we took them, and I go in to do the bloodwork on Tuesday. I've been feeling a bit nauseous quite a lot lately and I've got funny aches on my right abdomen just behind and below the rib cage. So I'm worried - although I'm sure that I've got no real reason to be and that I'm just being a worrywart. Realistically, even if I have got a reason to worry, worrying won't do any good at all because it won't change the outcome of the test. I should be practicing belly-breathing or something instead of worrying :)
Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!
You know how we're trying to lose weight? Well, I've lost 4 pounds in the last week but the software indicates that I'm only 1500 calories under what I should be eating to lose 16 pounds in a year. I don't feel hungry at all - and I occasionally even feel stuffed - but the weight seems to be melting off just now. Not that I mind :) I would like it come off just a little bit more slowly, though.
I'm very tired these days, partly because I haven't been sleeping well. It takes me a couple of hours to get fully to sleep and until then, I sleep very lightly and am awake a lot. Part of this is the pain which is up a bit. Part of this is also that I'm worrying, and I should take some anti-anxiety meds - but the only thing I have is the clonazepam which knocks me out completely. I'll go and see my doctor this week to see if he'll give me something milder like Ativan.
Why am I worried? Well, my tumour markers were up ever so slightly the last two times we took them, and I go in to do the bloodwork on Tuesday. I've been feeling a bit nauseous quite a lot lately and I've got funny aches on my right abdomen just behind and below the rib cage. So I'm worried - although I'm sure that I've got no real reason to be and that I'm just being a worrywart. Realistically, even if I have got a reason to worry, worrying won't do any good at all because it won't change the outcome of the test. I should be practicing belly-breathing or something instead of worrying :)
Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!
Labels:
cancer,
doctors appointments,
fatigue,
pain,
side effects,
test results,
tests,
tumour markers
Saturday, October 06, 2007
This is October?
This has got to be the hottest, stickiest Thanksgiving weekend I can remember. It got up to 26C today plus it was crazy humid - with the humidex, it was 36C or so. That might be normal for August, but isn't way far away from normal for October.
I went for a walk this evening, after it had cooled down a bit, and a thunderstorm rolled in. I was walking quite quickly so that I could get back home before the rain got really bad when Ian came to get me. how sweet is that? He'd seen the lightning and drove out to find me on my walk so that I wouldn't get electrocuted by the lightning or drenched by the rain. I'm a lucky, lucky girl, I tell you.
I went for a walk this evening, after it had cooled down a bit, and a thunderstorm rolled in. I was walking quite quickly so that I could get back home before the rain got really bad when Ian came to get me. how sweet is that? He'd seen the lightning and drove out to find me on my walk so that I wouldn't get electrocuted by the lightning or drenched by the rain. I'm a lucky, lucky girl, I tell you.
Friday, October 05, 2007
No craft show for me yet
I didn't make it into the craft show... the organizer was calling to let me know that I was still on the waiting list, that it had 22 people, and that I could be called at any time from now until the show to sub in. I'd have rather heard that I was in the show :) Still, I'll get the application forms early for next year's show and maybe I'll make it in.
Today was one of those days where I end up doing not much of anything :) I slept in until noon and spent the afternoon vegging in front of the tv. I guess I haven't been doing that much lately - aside from being woken at just before 7am and sleeping for another couple of hours - but I still felt quite tired. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut and if the pool is open, I might go swimming. It's freakishly hot out there and so I might choose to stay home if I don't have to go anywhere :)
Today was one of those days where I end up doing not much of anything :) I slept in until noon and spent the afternoon vegging in front of the tv. I guess I haven't been doing that much lately - aside from being woken at just before 7am and sleeping for another couple of hours - but I still felt quite tired. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut and if the pool is open, I might go swimming. It's freakishly hot out there and so I might choose to stay home if I don't have to go anywhere :)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
My curling is so much better
I went to the curling workshop tonight. It's the first time I've been on the ice since April; as I'm sure you can imagine, getting used to the ice takes some time :) Interestingly, since last April I've been able to improve my balance quite a lot with bellydancing and working out. At Well-fit, where I work out, I do some exercises on one leg or else while standing on those half-dome thingies while doing arm work. For example, I do ball wall squats, where I lean against an exercise ball against a wall and squat on one leg so that that knee is at 90 degrees. Yes, that's as difficult as it sounds.
Anyways, having better balance has definitely paid off as far as curling goes. I'm much more secure on the ice. For the first time ever, I'm able to slide out of the hack without holding on to any rocks! That's a huuuuuge accomplishment for me. This isn't to say that my rock delivery is perfect; I do have a lot of areas that need attention, as I found out tonight. They videotaped me and others and then later critiqued the delivery. It was very useful.
When we got home, there was a call from the person who organizes the Christmas in Ancaster show. I tried calling back but no one was home. I'd sent in my application way late (they were still accepting them) and I was put on a waiting list because there were already some jewelry people. I'm hoping that since the organizer called I might be in the show. Cross your fingers for me! It's not a cheap show - $165 for me - but I'm hoping that means that it would be a success for me. Here's hoping.....
Anyways, having better balance has definitely paid off as far as curling goes. I'm much more secure on the ice. For the first time ever, I'm able to slide out of the hack without holding on to any rocks! That's a huuuuuge accomplishment for me. This isn't to say that my rock delivery is perfect; I do have a lot of areas that need attention, as I found out tonight. They videotaped me and others and then later critiqued the delivery. It was very useful.
When we got home, there was a call from the person who organizes the Christmas in Ancaster show. I tried calling back but no one was home. I'd sent in my application way late (they were still accepting them) and I was put on a waiting list because there were already some jewelry people. I'm hoping that since the organizer called I might be in the show. Cross your fingers for me! It's not a cheap show - $165 for me - but I'm hoping that means that it would be a success for me. Here's hoping.....
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Bellydancing!
I got to go to bellydancing today! I wasn't sure if I would because I've been dog-sitting the last few days. I'd planned to take a ball stability class on Tuesday nights but it's been canceled so I'm taking a veil class!!!!! I'd wanted to take the veil class before but I couldn't justify taking three bellydance classes this term (I take a class on Thursdays, too).
I love veils - they're so beautiful on stage. They do require a lot of work, though. Imagine keeping your arms straight and up for an hour... that's what my class was like. Thank goodness I've been working out and have started swimming lessons. My arms and shoulders look very strong in the mirror :).
Interestingly, because I'm taking the veil class AND the Thursday class, I'll be in the recital twice. Of course this means that I'll have to learn two choreographies. I think that what they're doing is taking a single song and each class has a two or three minute segment of the song in which to do a dance. It makes the recital move much faster and kind of pulls it together, too. I'll have to get a veil; usually they're silk crepe de chine and I think I might have some red sari fabric in the right weight.
I love veils - they're so beautiful on stage. They do require a lot of work, though. Imagine keeping your arms straight and up for an hour... that's what my class was like. Thank goodness I've been working out and have started swimming lessons. My arms and shoulders look very strong in the mirror :).
Interestingly, because I'm taking the veil class AND the Thursday class, I'll be in the recital twice. Of course this means that I'll have to learn two choreographies. I think that what they're doing is taking a single song and each class has a two or three minute segment of the song in which to do a dance. It makes the recital move much faster and kind of pulls it together, too. I'll have to get a veil; usually they're silk crepe de chine and I think I might have some red sari fabric in the right weight.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Some improvements
I think I finally got caught up in sleep today. I slept until 12:30pm today with only a couple of awake hours between then and last night at about 11pm. Whew!
Interestingly, I'm taking painkillers less often than usual. Yesterday I took painkillers at about 9:30am and didn't take them again until after Well-fit, around 7pm. I did take them just before bed last night and then when I woke up, and then not again until the evening. I'd been taking them every 5 or 6 hours, before. I'd love it if I could take less painkillers with no adverse effects :) We'll see how things go over the next few days; if this trend continues I'll actually start trying to lower each dose.
Interestingly, I'm taking painkillers less often than usual. Yesterday I took painkillers at about 9:30am and didn't take them again until after Well-fit, around 7pm. I did take them just before bed last night and then when I woke up, and then not again until the evening. I'd been taking them every 5 or 6 hours, before. I'd love it if I could take less painkillers with no adverse effects :) We'll see how things go over the next few days; if this trend continues I'll actually start trying to lower each dose.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Shopping and swimming
I got to go shopping again today! My friend needed shoes and we were able to find the perfect pair for her :) I also bought myself the cutest little red plaid purse. I thought about getting the similar clutch but I wouldn't have been able to fit anything in it and it didn't have silver threads in the fabric. I can't wait to get everything moved into my new purse :)
I also had both swimming and Well-fit today. Wow, that's a lot of work. Swimming is hard because I don't know what I'm doing and I do things inefficiently. There are supposed to be two other people in the class but neither of them showed up, so I got a private lesson. That worked out ok. She was able to really give me detailed instruction which was quite useful. I won't have lessons next week and so she wants me to be sure to practice swimming at least once a week outside of class. Hopefully I'll find some time to do that.
I also had both swimming and Well-fit today. Wow, that's a lot of work. Swimming is hard because I don't know what I'm doing and I do things inefficiently. There are supposed to be two other people in the class but neither of them showed up, so I got a private lesson. That worked out ok. She was able to really give me detailed instruction which was quite useful. I won't have lessons next week and so she wants me to be sure to practice swimming at least once a week outside of class. Hopefully I'll find some time to do that.
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