Too sleepy for my own good

I'd run out of Aerius, the allergy drug I take, for a few days and so wound up not taking any for a few days. That turned out to be a HUUUGGGEEEE mistake.

The red blister things have re-appeared under my fentanyl patches and are itchy as crazy. So not only is my back kind of ugly due to overlapping patch areas, it's ugly AND itchy due to the allergic reaction. Blah.

To counteract the allergy effect, I took some Benadryl which acts as an antihistamine. I then tried to watch a movie. Ha ha ha - it's funny because I fell asleep during the movie (Benadryl is known to make people sleepy) and woke up watching only the movie menu. That's a bit of a waste of a movie, wouldn't you say?

Normal, sort of

The endodontist I saw today thinks that my tooth hurts because I either cracked it in the fall I had or the new filling put in is bothering me. He's taking a conservative approach to treatment and putting in a zoe which has anaesthetic properties. If the pain is still there after six months, then we'll either do a root canal or extract the tooth.

Let's hope that my tooth just doesn't like the new filling, huh?

If we do have to proceed further, then my oncologist wants to stop the Pamidronate for two months both before and after the procedure. I figure that if the pain is still there in five months, we can stop the Pamidronate, and do whatever procedure we need to do in seven months.

The reason I say that I will stop the Pamidronate is that my oncologist, who I also saw today, is putting me back on it. She doesn't have the jaw CT results but since no one has told me anything, we figure that the scan is clear. My oncologist is also going to start seeing me every three months instead of two because my condition is stable and I'm doing so well.

In great news, my tumour markers went down to 35.8 which is normal. Yippeee!

On a side note, we're looking at the US election results and so far they're calling Obama for the win. I hope that this actually happens - I didn't want to see McCain in power, and I think/hope that Obama will do great things for the US. In my opinion, he's a great leader and the world needs that right now.

Clearly, I don't know everything

I was able to get some sewing done today. I finished the skirt except for hemming it and got the pants ready to sew.

I've discovered that I've learned a thing or two about sewing over the years. In particular, I think I've finally figured out how to use fusible interfacing. I used to avoid using the stuff because it would always go lumpy after it was washed. Well, I've discovered that I wasn't fusing the interfacing properly - I was using a steam iron. I did some tests and it turns out that it fuses better with heat, pressure, and lack of steam. As well, I realized that the interfacing looks different once its fused to the fabric so it's easy to tell when it's fused properly.

Who knew all of these things? It's like no matter how much I know, there's still room for more.

Tomorrow is US election day - finally! It'll be a fun evening of watching election results; hopefully there will be a decision tomorrow.

I've also got a couple of appointments tomorrow: I see a root canal specialist (in case the pain in my jaw and face is due to common teeth problems) first thing and and then my oncologist in the afternoon. Hopefully it'll all go well.

A new sewing project

I'd bought a lot (five-ish meters) of some gorgeous dark gray herringbone fabric a while ago as part of my winter fabric shopping spree. It was super-cheap, which is one reason I bought so much - the other is that I love it, of course! It has a number of different gray warp thread colours, giving it an irregular striped effect that I love. The herringbone weave itself is so fine that it's hardly noticeable but it makes the fabric drape beautifully. Not only that, but the herringbone weave gives the fabric some stretch to it. I tell you, what's not to love about this fabric?

Since the fabric is gorgeous, drapes really well, has a bit of weight to it, and has some stretch, it's perfect for skirts and pants (and some tops and dresses, I think). Today I finally pulled the fabric out and cut out a skirt and a pair of pants. I can't wait to sew them! I've made the skirt pattern before and it looks awesome but this will be the first try for the pants.

Now, normally when I wear skirts or dresses in the winter, I wear tights with them because otherwise my legs get cold. Usually I wear black tights because most of my winter things are black, but since I'm working with these gray fabrics, I decided that I needed some non-black tights. I was thinking that gray, charcoal, or off-black tights would be perfect. I figured that it couldn't be that hard to find a pair of tights in one of these colours.

Well, it's exactly that hard. I spent two hours looking at tights today trying to find the perfect gray pair. I ended up buying three different pairs because I wasn't sure which ones would look and fit the best. Each one has slightly different colour, composition, texture, and opacity, and even though I tried to figure out what each pair would look like, it's impossible to know that until I put them on. Fortunately, none of them cost all that much and I think I'll get wear out of all of them.

I also bought a pair of black sweater tights - they're so soft, cushy, comfortable and warm that I just couldn't resist buying them. I have a lot of black tights but none like this pair; when I tried them on at home it felt like I was wearing a soft, warm hug on my legs. They're not that cheap but they are that nice - I highly recommend them!

Halloween weekend pictures

I know you've all been waiting anxiously for our pictures, so here they are! This post is quite picture-heavy; blogger and I have had quite a time getting this post up.

Ian's Jack pumpkin that he carved at work in 10 minutes:


Ian's Cybermen pumpkin (from the new Doctor Who series):


My Dalek pumpkin (also from the Doctor Who series):


Our house from the outside. Not quite as many decorations as in previous years but still nice.


The candy and Spooky Town table. Pretty :)



Tonight we went to a Halloween party and we got to dress up!!! Here are pictures of our costumes :)

Braaiiiiins! I'm a zombie!:


A close-up of my zombie face. Ian thought my make-up looked pretty good. I think so, too :) I really like the fake gel blood I had which makes the bloody parts that much more realistic. I hope it comes off easily. The shirt is an old one I had that we cut up and spread blood around on (it doesn't have to come clean).


Ian is Rorschach from Watchmen. This is what we spent so much time getting together the other weekend: the pants and trenchcoat came from Goodwill and I made the mask. I'm quite happy with how the mask turned out.


Finally, a picture of both of us:


Whew! What a lot of pictures and fun this weekend has been.I'm looking forward to sleeping and having a restful sewing day tomorrow.

Happy Halloween! (pssst: anyone need some candy?)

Oh, how I love Halloween! The costumes, the candy, the pumpkins, the decorations... it's association with horror films... everything about it. I'll post our pumpkin and decoration pictures tomorrow - we did some amazing pumpkins this year.

Unfortunately, we had hardly any kids - only *19* and only between 6:45pm and 9pm! Compare that to 42 between 6 and 9pm last year. :( We bought more than enough candy for 45 kids and so we have a LOT left over. I'm thinking that the low numbers might be a combination of it being a Friday night, really warm (it was over 15 today), and daylight savings ending later rather than earlier. Daylight savings time switches next weekend for the first time; in previous years it's switched before Halloween and so it's been darkish by 6pm.

At least we got to carve out our pumpkins and decorate the place a little. Of course we only got everything up today so people didn't get to enjoy out pumpkins and whatnot beforehand. We'll keep the pumpkins outside for their viewing pleasure for a few days.

Halloween isn't over for us: we get to dress up for a Halloween party tomorrow. Yippeee!

Lazy day at home

 Today I finished a couple of tasks and while I probably could have done a lot more, I count it as a reasonably successful day. That's really all of the "productive" things that I did today. So how did I spend the hours and hours I was awake today?

Watching movies, of course!

I started with Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer . It's a "documentary" about a serial killer over the span of just a few months (years?) in his life. You see what he sees through some awesome camera work. The violence is implied and not really overt but in some ways this makes his actions that much more believable. Even though this movie is from the mid-eighties, it's still very unsettling and creepy. I highly recommend it as it's well worth watching.

Later I watched The Hole (starring Thora Birch). It's about a group of teenagers who are trying to not go on a field trip or home to their parents and who decide to spend three days in an old bunker. They end up locked in the bunker and are missing for eighteen days. It turns out that things are not entirely as they seem. This is a really good psychological thriller; the end is sort of but not completely expected and there is an element of realism to the setting that drives home what happened. This is definitely a movie worth seeing, if you get a chance.

The lack of shopping is getting to me

Out of all the possible fallouts from the economic crisis going on in the US and Europe, I never expected that the Canadian dollar would drop against the US dollar. Sigh. Our dollar is below 80cents on one USD which is some kind of crazy low.

Our low dollar is definitely having an effect on me: I'm not shopping as much as I was. In particular, I'm not buying stuff on eBay, and this makes me sad. How else can I buy WAY too many vintage sewing patterns (there are a lot right now from the 1940s, which I love)? Or look longingly at all sorts of fabric?

I know, I know, I already have more fabric and patterns than I know what to do with. Sigh. Every time I want to start some new project, I spread out the patterns I like the most in one spot and fabrics in another and look over both piles. Eventually I put the patterns and the fabric away without choosing any new project. I want to sew each of the patterns and I want each of the fabrics made into a gorgeous outfit. If I could wave a magic wand and transform the patterns and fabric into outfits, I would.

Part of the problem is that most of the patterns I have are for summery clothes and I want to make something more suited to winter. I have the winter fabrics (and summer fabrics, of course) but I worry that I'll waste some if something doesn't turn out. Of course, by not making things out of my fabrics, they're sort of being wasted, aren't they?

What it means for me to not be working

I met up with a friend about an hour's drive away from here for lunch. It was a lot of fun - she's about my age and has bone mets like me. Of course there are differences, but we have some things in common. Both of us are on long-term disability, for example, and both of us struggle with the fact that we're not working.

You'd think that after two and a half years of not working, I'd have reconciled myself to not working again... but I can't. Not yet.

I grew up thinking that work is extremely important and that no matter how I felt - no matter how sick or hungover or tired I was - I would go to work and I would do the best job I could while I was there. This work ethic was very strongly ingrained in me, so much so that the fact that I'm not currently working feels like I'm not living up to my own internal code of ethics. By not working, I also feel like I'm a non-productive member of society. I suppose these feelings are partly rooted in thinking that I don't have anything to offer society except my work. That's silly, though, isn't it? I *know* I'm a valuable person. And yet some days I feel as though my value is wasted by not working, if that makes sense.

Reconciling myself to not working again would mean that I'd have to find a different way to contribute to society, or find a different definition of a contributor. I'd also have to change my definition of work to something more suiting my present conditions (so far, I've been unable to do that). Of course I have no idea how to make those changes and so I'm guessing that it would require some, well, work. :)

As well, reconciling myself to not working again would mean that I'd have to give that idea completely, whereas right now I have hope (misguided or not) that I *could* possibly, maybe, go back to work. I don't know if I'm ready to give that up yet. Part of me still very much wants to be "normal" with my work ethics and my going to work every day. Right now, admitting that I couldn't go back to even that level of normal feels like admitting (succumbing?) to failure - that I couldn't do it, or that maybe I didn't try hard enough. I think I'm not at all ready for that.

(Horror) movie of the day

I managed to finally watch A Nightmare on Elm Street today. It's a pretty good story and there are lots of things about about it that would be good and creepy... except for the music. A creepy movie situation is MUCH less creepy when the cheesy 80s synthesizer music announces how creepy the situation is. Sigh. I'd love to see this one remade - or at least re-scored - with better, creepier music.

I love horror movies so much! But I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be watching a horror movie that has a good story with decent enough acting ... and then to be shocked out of the creepy horror move by stupid, intrusive, loud, cheesy music! Scoring a movie isn't rocket science. Bad music makes a movie much worse while good music - which is unobtrusive and sets the scene without overpowering it - can make a mediocre move much, much better. You'd think that movie producers would understand that the music is such an integral part of a movie, and especially of a horror movie.

Almost too much shopping

We spent almost all day shopping and shopping and shopping in a (mostly) big circle. We started off at one big plaza by getting me a cushy microfiber fleece electric blanket for when I'm cold because, well, I'm tired of being cold and lots of baths aren't really a good option. It works so well, too - I gave it a try tonight and I love it! It heats up quickly and is cushy and warm and snuggly.

Anyways, after that we bought me a short-sleeved cotton argyle sweater. Yes! I found a sweater! I'd tried it on the other day but I wanted to be sure that it was ok, which it is, and we bought it. It looks really nice and will go with tons of stuff.

Moving on, we went to a sports store and I got some good-quality inner layers (like long johns but made for activities) to wear when curling. I'm sure it won't surprise you to know that I'm really, really cold when I'm curling, considering that the sport is played in an arena aka a refrigerator. So I got a top and some legging things both made with a textured polypropylene interior, which wicks sweat away, and a merino wool exterior, to catch the sweat and stay warm. I think they'll make a huuuuge difference in my ability to stay warm while in the curling refrigerator twice a week.

Normally, that would be plenty of shopping, but we weren't done yet. We went over to Best Buy and picked up some horror DVDs (only $9.99 - the cheapest we'll see all year) and Rock Band 2 . We looked for a DVD set of horror movies that had been released but it turns out that they only have some of the individual movies. The collection is available, though, so I expect we might buy that instead of buying each movie individually. I hope the movies are good; they *look* good and scary, and it's a Sam Raimi's production company, so how could they be bad? (I'd like to think that Sam Raimi won't put his name on total crap)

We continued on by going to more different stores in order to scope out and buy parts for Ian's Halloween costume. I won't tell you what it is or where we went, but we did end up going to four stores to get what we needed (and we visited one of those stores twice).

At this point, we were basically done with the shopping adventure so we got some lunch and picked up some Halloween candy over at Shopper's. They have a promotion where you get 20 times the points if you buy $20 or more of Halloween item. We need the candy (for the kids, of course!) anyways and getting the extra points is good.

Then, exhausted, we came home and I crashed into a big nap.

One of the movies we bought today was The Evil Dead. We'd heard that people said it was so bad it was funny, but it's actually a pretty good movie. Some of the effects are a little much, but the story and the things that happen are sort of creepy. And of course there are parts that aren't well-done, like some of the acting and whatnot. But that's ok. The basic story is that a bunch of people go up to a cabin where the manage to awaken some kind of demon which kills and takes over their bodies. If the story were done today in a slightly more technical way without a bunch of big-name stars, I think it would be even better. As it was, it was creepy and intense. Not bad for a 25-year-old movie. :)

Hold the presses! It looks like Sam Raimi (the original Evil Dead director) might be directing a remake of the movie! Wouldn't it be awesome if the movie makes it to the theatres?

I'm here and I'm ok

I haven't posted in two days and I'm sure some of you are wondering what the heck is going on here - am I ok? Has something happened?

I'm fine :) Wednesday evening I was very cold and had a bath and went straight to bed without writing anything here. I'd meant to write last night but my back got all woogly again. The woogly back feels like something is plucking at my spinal cord in different places and my back responds by clenching the muscles there. If it's really bad, my whole body clenches and relaxes. It's very uncomfortable and exhausting.

My back gets woogly on occasion but last night was pretty bad. Sometimes the woogles start because I'm tired. Sometimes what happens is that the Fentanyl patches I wear for pain management stop working (they're good for 72 hours which usually means 72 plus or minus a couple of hours) and I start going through narcotic withdrawl. I get shaky, anxious, woogly back, nauseous, and clammy, but the symptoms subside once the new patches go on. If the woogles are bad I'll take Percocet (for breakthrough pain) and/or Ativan.

I love the Fentanyl because it works so much better than the Oxycodone for pain .... but I could definitely do without these withdrawl symptoms. I feel like a junkie looking for a fix when they appear and I don't like that.

So last night I had these woogles - and they were really, really bad - and all I could do after changing the patches and taking Percocet was crawl into bed and try to desensitize myself. It was like every time anything touched my skin (especially my back, hands, or feet), the woogles came back. Eventually I fell asleep. I've still got some light woogles in my back today but they're not too bad.

The Coldplay concert

Last night's Coldplay concert was awesome.

First off, the stage and lighting were interesting. Directly behind the stage was a large screen and in front of the stage, at about the halfway point in the arena, were two Jumbotrons parallel to the stage. In front of the Jumbotrons was a sort of bubble underneath a short cylinder (so it looked kind of like an oversized, upside-down, ice-cream cone). The bubble-thing was lit up with different colours and projections during the show. Another five smaller bubble-things appeared and disappeared during the show. The projections on the back screen and Jumbotrons were also projected onto the bubble things which made for an interesting light effect. There were also six or eight direct lights on four movable tracks to add additional light and colour. All of this, coupled with laser lights radiating out from the back of the stage floor, made for an interesting light show.

Unfortunately, it was one we couldn't completely see. We were on one side perpendicular to the Jumbotrons so we and a bunch of more people more to the side of us couldn't see the projections on the Jumbotrons. The bubble things blocked some of the stage as well. Some small improvements in the stage design would have made the stage more viewable from a greater number of seats.

Fortunately, not being able to see everything didn't diminish from the concert too much. The band is very talented - the drummer in particular is brilliant! They played all of the songs that people would know and they played them very well; in fact, the live versions of some of the songs were better than the recorded versions (which doesn't always happen)! The band was also clearly having a good time up on stage.

Chris Martin , the lead singer, was very comfortable with the audience. He joked with us (for example, he thanked everyone for coming even though he knew that many of the boyfriends had been dragged there by their girlfriends) and when people reached their hands out to him, he often shook those hands. Clearly, he  wasn't afraid of his audience. How many times have we seen bands/singers/stars turn away from their fans or treat the audience as though they were a piece of ick stuck on their shoes? I'm quite sure that this is the first arena/stadium concert where the band treated the audience as though we were watching them in a much, much smaller venue.

At one point, the band did a short song off the stage over in one of the sections, and they did another song on a small, lit platform on one side of the stage. Both of these songs were minimally instrumented but were still very good.

The opening band, Stars, was ok. Apparently they're very highly thought-of but the female singer's voice is a little weak and the band isn't good on all of their instruments. The male singer is very good and could probably do quite well in a stronger band. The lyrics to their songs were interesting and sort of delicate.... but different singers and instrument players (like a MUCH better trumpet player) would have made for a better show.

All in all, we enjoyed the concert a lot. If you get a chance to see Coldplay, you should definitely go, even if you're not that fond of the music. It's a show that is well worth seeing.

On  a side note, I have to say that one thing I do love about live concerts is the light show.... in another life, I suspect that I'd have gotten involved in that kind of stage design. Ever since my first live concert, I've spent more time looking at the lights and figuring out how they did the effects than watching the people on-stage. :)

And another thing that I'll mention, just because the concert was in an arena .... I don't have a bucket list, but if I did, going up and wandering around the catwalks of an arena would be on it. I've *always* wanted to go up there! Every time I've been in an arena or similar structure, I look up and try to figure out where all of the catwalks are as well as the possible entrances to them. I don't want a guided tour - I just want to be left to my own devices up there, walking around and around and across and just seeing what's there and what I can see. How cool would that be?

In Ottawa

We're seeing Coldplay tomorrow here in Ottawa and so we drove here today. It was a beautiful day for a drive: bright and sunny, with a clear blue sky and changing leaf colours, and almost no traffic.

We're settled in here and are spending the evening quietly, watching tv. Tomorrow Ian is working and I'm hoping to do some shopping and stuff. The malls here are different and I hope to see a couple of fabric stores :)

Most people don't sleep like this

Ian woke me up at a reasonable hour this morning so that I could get some stuff done. I guess I was still very, very tired when I got up because as I was sitting on the couch with my coffee, I sloooowly tipped my hand, spilling my coffee and dropping my coffee cup. I don't really remember this happening - it's sort of like I dreamed it, you know?

After the coffee was cleaned up, mostly by Ian, I fell back against the couch and slept for some amount of time. At least an hour, anyways. Again, I don't really remember what happened as it's all dream-fuzzy.

How weird is all that? I've been very tired this week (in addition to have the migraine), but I'm not really sure why that is. I did have an unpleasant experience the other day where I visited my late friend's husband and he tried to kiss me (not in a social way but on the lips) - I pushed him away and left but it freaked me out. I don't know if I've been sleeping so much because I was freaked out or if I'm fighting off some bug or something. We'll see, I guess.

Tomorrow we're on our way to Ottawa as we're seeing Coldplay on Monday night. We spent quite a bit of time this afternoon figuring out where to stay. We wanted to take public transport to the concert because we don't want to fight traffic on the way back (especially since we want to be up and out first thing Tuesday morning). We'll be staying very close to the place I lived during my second co-op term there.

We're leaving tomorrow and then Ian will be working on Monday while I shop and stuff. Although we have friends in Ottawa, I don't know if we'll have time to see everyone this trip. I am looking forward to the concert and to seeing a bit of Ottawa.

Better today

Today was better than yesterday although I wasn't feeling up to curling tonight. The CT scan was uneventful but as I was on my way home the headache started to come back and I started feeling nauseous again. So I decided to stay home tonight and rest and watch tv.

I did manage to get some sewing done this morning, at least.

I wish I'd known earlier that Scream was having a month-long free preview this month! It's got a pretty good selection of scary/gory/interesting movies. I've been watching this channel all evening and I might be able to see myself watching others. Not everything is good - they have to maintain their Canadian content, and not every thriller/horror movie is good - but there are some interesting movies on the channel. I just wish that there were no commercials while showing movies because it spoils the suspense.

So much for plans

I meant to get up early today - say, around 10am - and sew. I have a skirt on the go and I found trim for the dress I'm making and I'm making a pair of overalls for a Halloween costume.

That didn't happen. I woke up around 5pm with a migraine. I had it all: the throbbing headache, the nausea, the sensitivity to light, sound, and smell - all of it.

I was able to fall asleep sitting up with a wet towel around my forehead and on the back of my neck (coincidentally blocking out light and sound). I'm up now and I think I'm feeling better so I'm having some tea and a bite to eat.

I have to be up long before 5pm tomorrow as I have a CT scan of my jaw at 3:40pm so hopefully I'll also get a chance to get some sewing done.

Federal election day

We played some games of a version of Jenga at a housewarming party early this evening. I'd never played the game, but it's quite fun. The game consists of 54 thin blocks from which you make a tower 18 rows high with three blocks in each row. Each rows blocks are crossed over the previous and next row. Each person uses one hand to remove a block from the tower and then to place it on the top of the tower. The person taking their turn when the tower falls loses.

I'm sure lots of people have played it but as I say, I'd never played and it was really fun! The blocks are not all exactly the same size so there are some spots where blocks will easily come out while still maintaining the integrity of the tower. I think that people of all ages would enjoy this one.

When we got home we started watching the election results. So far, the final results have not been called but it looks like it'll be a conservative government again; the only question is whether they will have a majority. It could be a minority government again. If it is, I hope that we get to wait for an election for more than just a couple of years.

Once this election is over, we can all focus on the upcoming US election. People posting in the forums I read have been very vocal and polarized on the candidates to the point of insults and poor behaviour. I very much hope that there is a clear winner in that election and that there is no fiasco like the 2000 election. With the US and global economic crisis, I don't think it would do the US good to have to go through a protracted election count.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope that you all have had a good Thanksgiving weekend, eating turkey or other yummy food.

We got some beautiful weather today! The blue skies, together with the changing colours of the leaves, is making for some gorgeous scenery. I love being outside looking at all of the fall colours; those colours make this one of my favourite times of the year.

For those of you in Canada, tomorrow is Federal Election Day. If you haven't already voted in an advance poll please be sure to vote tomorrow. Every voice matters and it's important to make sure your voice is heard.

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

We got to have a very yummy turkey dinner at Ian's parents today. There was turkey and stuffing and vegetables and - my favourite - pumpkin pie! The entire dinner was yummy and for once I didn't eat too much. I might have had a second piece of pie but no one else had any. This is probably just as well because extra pie isn't going to make me smaller, you know?

Ian and I have been going to the gym regularly since we joined. I don't think I've lost weight but my waist and hip measurements are definitely down from what they were this summer. I'm very happy about this :) I'm hoping to lose about 15 pounds by next summer and I think I've made a good start.