I've been so busy lately with at least one appointment or commitment pretty much every weekday. So far I haven't been too overwhelmed but I'm starting to feel tired and edgy.
I've had an additional pressure for the last few weeks from getting ready for a trip next week. We have an opportunity to go to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic and even though we don't like the heat or a lot of sunshine, a trip like this doesn't come around too often. Besides, we're staying at a resort, which we've never done before, and we might discover that we love the experience.
Going someplace hot and sunny means that we swimsuits for the pool and ocean as well as sun-protective clothing. In addition to my usual complement of activities - metalsmithing class, physiotherapy for the lymphedema, and doctors appointments - I've been doing a LOT of shopping. Yesterday, for example, I had an appointment in downtown Toronto (more on that tomorrow) and on the way there I stopped by the Sunveil store for a new sunveil jacket for each of us. I have a light blue button-up shirt that I bought years and years ago that's got grime on the cuffs that won't come out so I wanted to replace it.
I also stopped by the MEC to buy some long-sleeved sun-shirts/rashguards that have built-in sun protection for both Ian and myself. Finding long-sleeved shirts like this was quite difficult as the selection for adults is very low in local stores. While I was there, I bought myself a couple of bathing suits. During the last week I've been trying on swimsuits in all sorts of stores to try to figure out which styles are flattering and minimize the difference between my boobs. I don't really want to wear a prosthetic breast while in the pool or at the ocean but I also don't want the difference to be obvious to everyone. It turns out that halter tops with patterns work pretty well.
Trying on swimsuits is one of the most demoralizing activities ever. In my head my skin and muscles are firm and although I'm soft, I'm soft in a curvy way. The reality is that my skin is sagging, as are my muscles, and my legs are less shapely than lumpy and share certain characteristics with tree trunks. The wrong sized suit creates an unattractive muffin-top effect at my hips. I'm not the young woman I used to be and trying on swimsuits is a sad reminder of this fact.
In addition to the stuff I bought yesterday, I'd ordered sun-shirts/rashguards, swimsuits, and board shorts for me online. Not everything fits properly so much of it is being returned but some of it works.
I'm looking forward to the trip. It's a short one (only three nights away) so it'll be long enough to get a sense of what the area and staying at a resort are like. Plus now I have some relatively flattering suits and swimwear :)