One more thing...

I need to talk about one thing tonight, even though I'm tired. I've been holding this in for a whil.

This past Sunday a friend of mine died of breast cancer. My friend just turned 40 and had two young kids. She had liver mets and found out just before I met her again in Philly that she had a single lesion on her brain. One single brain met, three months ago. And now she's dead.

I don't know how she could have died so quickly. She had radiation for the lesion and then... nothing. All that time, my friend didn't know that she was sick... she thought she was going to be getting treatment - her oncologist never told her anything different! She was in terrible pain as well. But while we knew things weren't perfect, we thought it was ok, that she was going to be better.

It wasn't until she talked to someone a couple of weeks ago and was totally incoherent - indicating that the single brain met had spread - that we knew that there was a problem. A mutual friend got hospice involved to get some pain relief going and some help for my friend's husband (who was trying to deal with his wife and two young daughters with no support or help). On Saturday, my friend moved into a hospice facility and died the next day.

It was hard to hear about my friend while we were away... here we were in this beautiful place, seeing these more amazing things, and my friend is dead way more quickly than anyone had a right to think was even possible.

I hate cancer and I want it to stop killing my friends.

LisaG, I miss you... you were so funny, irreverent, and smart. I wish you'd had more time with us. I love you so much and I hope you're at peace now, watching over the rest of us.