I've felt better

As usual after dropping my antidepressant dose, I've been feeling a bit tired and generally unwell over the last little while. I've been feeling a bit fuzzy-headed and have been headachy. As well, my stomach has been feeling very upset and I've been a bit nauseous which has made eating a bit difficult. Poor Ian isn't getting dinner made for him because I'm not up to eating anything at dinnertime.

As well as feeling kind of crappy, I've been rather cranky over the last week or so. I'm not getting angry or snapping at people or anything but I've been finding myself reacting more strongly to people's posts and comments on the interwebs. In other words, I seem to be encountering more idiots out there than usual :) I know that the problem isn't everyone else - it's all me.

Part of this crankiness is because tomorrow is the anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him so much even now, six years later. My grief isn't as sharply felt as it used to be; these days, it's more of a melancholy feeling or an ache than the stabbing, overwhelming sadness that it used to be but it still affects me - especially around anniversary dates.

Fortunately, even though I'm feeling sad and cranky and physically I feel awful, I don't feel that I'm becoming depressed or that I'm dealing with everything in a bad way. That's a good sign - being on a reduced antidepressant is comparatively easy when things are going well and harder when things are going poorly. So the fact that I'm doing ok is a pretty good sign.